I mean, alright

I mean series part 2 on whatever the fuck I want

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4. 22AV

 

              IT STARTS WITH THE HUM OF MY LIPS AND THE STRINGS TUGGING ON MY EYELIDS

   I'M RECOILED INSIDE MY BODY AS I DWELL INSIDE THE DEPRESSION LAYING ON MY SOUL LIKE

  A HEAVY WEIGHT DESCENDING ON MY CHEST

  I CAN FEEL THE SPRINKLES OF HEAVEN DUSTED ON MY FINGERTIPS AND THE DIVINE KISS HANGING 

  OFF MY TONGUE I CAN DIVE INTO THE POOLS OF THE CITY AND SKINNY DIP INTO THE TOUCH OF MEN

  I CAN ACCEPT THE RELINQUISHED CONTROL I HAVE IN MY TEDIOUS LIFE AND I CAN ACCEPT THE SLITS ON

 MY WRISTS AS BATTLE SCARS WHEN THEY ARE NOTHING MORE THAN WEAK THOUGHTS STRETCHING ON 

  MY SKIN

   THEY REMIND ME OF YOUR FINGERTIPS AND THE WAY YOU DREW HEART SHAPES ON THE INSIDE OF

  MY WRISTS

  THE SAME WAY THE METAL KISSES ME GENTLY WITH ITS SHARP TONGUE AND THE STINGING AFTERMATH OF THE DECISION MY POOR MIND HAS MADE AND MY STUPID MOUTH HAS ACCOMPLISHED 

 THEY ARE MANY ADDITIONS SPINNING ACROSS THE WORLD AND INFILTRATING THE VULNERABLE AND I  EMBRACE MANY 

THERE ARE NO SECRETS

I AM A BOOK WITH INSCRIBED WRITING THAT MEANS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT THE TRUE STATEMENTS IT WILL DECIPHER IS THAT I EMBRACE MY POOR DECISIONS AND MY LACK OF CARE AND I EMBRACE IT AS AN ART I WILL PAINT MY HIGHNESS ON THE CANVAS AND I WILL WASH MY BRUSHES WITHT THE BLOOD ON MY WRISTS AND I WILL LET THE PILLS DO THE TALKING AND I WILL LET THE MEDICATION DO THE GRIEVING I WILL LET MY MOUTH DO THE KISSING AND I WILL LET MY EYES DO THE EMBRACING 

I WILL LET MY BODY AND SOUL DO THE WORST BECAUSE THE WORST IS WHAT I AM 

I AM A FAILURE OF HUMANITY BUT I AM ALSO THE MAGNIFICENCE OF IT AND THERE IS NO ONE WHO CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE

YES I AM FREE-FALLING INTO A PIT OF DARKNESS AND YES I AM LEAPING THROUGH THE FIELDS OF FIRE BUT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THAT I AM PERFECTLY OKAY WITH DROWNING AND I AM PERFECTLY FINE WITH GETTING BURNED 

I CAN FEEL MYSELF SCREAMING INSIDE MY HEAD

I HATE THE LEATHER SOFAS AND THE SMELL OF WOODEN PENCILS AND I HATE THE CALM STARES AND THE RATIONAL TONGUES SPEAKING TO ME AND I HATE ALL OF IT AND YET MY TONGUE CANNOT SPEAK BUT MY RAZORS WILL DO THE SCREAMING 

YOU TELL ME ITS MY DISORDER THAT MAKES ME DO THESE SLOPPY MISTAKES BUT ISN'T MY DISORDER ME?WHY DO I CONSTANTLY SPLIT MYSELF INTO TWO JUST SO I CAN HAVE THE VALID EXCUSES AND MEDICATION TO MAKE ME BETTER

WHAT IF I DON'T NEED TO GET BETTER 

I ENJOY CLIMBING TO THE TOP OF TREES AND BEING THE BALL THAT SHATTERS THE FRAGILE WINDOW 

I ENJOY BEING THE FIERY DRAGON IN THE CHINA SHOP AND I ENJOY BEING THE HALF NAKED BEAUTY DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR AN ESCAPE 

I AM A GYPSY SOUL AND I AM TIRED OF BEING TAMED 

WHEN CAN I JUST BE FREE?
 

 -"I'm too high on Bendryl too really know what my point is but I guess I'm trying to say is: I'm getting off my meds

 

 

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