Once there was a man, who was as virtuous and noble as any who had lived. He was a carpenter, who worked diligently and honestly, as had his fathers before him, and one day, on the midsummer of his 22nd year, he married the daughter of the local blacksmith. Their love surpassed all others, and the wedding was celebrated throughout the town, and they were considered the most splendid of couples.
But the bride had many secrets; unbeknownst to the carpenter, she had committed many terrible deeds, and her past was filled with murder, treachery, theft and vengeance. The guilt drove the carpenter’s bride crazy, and just 40 days into their marriage, the blood on her hands drove her to take her own life.
The carpenter, unaware of his wife’s tarnished soul, and tormented by loneliness and grief, fell on his own sword in a desperate attempt to re-join her, and thus the two lovers departed this world together.
When the carpenter awoke, he saw before him not the golden gates of Paradise, nor the gateway to Hell, but the bitter emptiness of Purgatory. Noticing that he was alone, he assumed his wife, who he believed to be a moral woman, to be in Heaven, and he cried out in agony to be reunited with her.
After an age, his cries were heard and the Morning Star came to him.
On seeing the angelic beauty, the carpenter fell to his knees, and the Light Bringer spoke:
“I will make you a deal. If you bring me the souls of a thousand evil men, I will ensure you and your bride are together for eternity”. The carpenter understood this to mean he would be with his wife in heaven, and willingly accepted the offer. And so he was handed a gun, and returned to the earth to fulfil his task.
For a millennia, the man roamed the earth, and each year he killed the most evil man alive. The once virtuous man believed he was doing the right thing, by reaping the servants of evil, but little did he know that, with every life he took, his own soul became blacker and more broken.
Finally, when the carpenter had killed nine hundred and ninety nine evil men, he himself was the most evil man alive.
And so once again, he took his own life, and awoke to find himself kneeling before Lucifer. Satan smiled and accepted the carpenter as the thousandth evil soul, and one side of the bargain was complete. And then the Devil said to the man:
“Your soul is now so ruined that you too must be condemned to eternal damnation”
And so the man and his lover would burn together in hell for all eternity.