Im falling down an endless tunnel and hands are trying to grab me. I scream and frantically try to search for an exit. Faces of people I know are flashing before my eyes, laughing at me, taunting me. Among them I see my parents, my father telling me that I never was selfless enough, mom telling me that I belong with the faction less and Caleb keeps whispering, 'I knew you were divergent. I knew you never were one of us.'
I wake up with a shout, drenched in sweat and shivering uncontrollably. Bile rises up to my throat and I rush to the washroom and throw up all over the sink. Outside, the sun is rising over the grey buildings. Much as I want, I just can't imagine my life as an abnegation. One thing about the nightmare was true, I am not selfless. But, as I make my way over to the cupboard, I think, am I brave? I know I never shall be a power craving, knowledge hungry erudite. I'd rather be factionless. Or not.
Since I took the aptitude test, Tori's words keep coming back to me, 'you don't fully belong to any faction. You are divergent'. And I can't help thinking, why me? Why not Caleb? Or maybe he was divergent too. He looked nervous enough today. Sighing, I start yanking clothes out of my cupboard. Better get ready than standing around thinking. Even though I can't understand which faction to choose, a small voice keeps nagging at the back off my head, not selfless enough, not crazy for knowledge, that leaves just one option doesn't it. But am I ready to become a dauntless? I have seen them from the school windows. Brave, daring and free. Isn't that what I crave? But then Tori's other warning comes into my mind,
'you can't let anyone know you are divergent. People hunt them down and kill them'
'how do you know? There hasn't been any news about murders'
'I lost my brother, he was in dauntless and they killed him'
and her grave, emotionless tone told that she wasn't lying. So what was the safe option for me?