A collection of inner monologues

Sometimes late at night I feel the urge to write, about anything and everything, so I decided to start doing that and I'll publish them on here as I write them. They'll probably just sound like the inner ramblings of a teenage girl but it's a way of expression that some people may enjoy reading.

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1. An ode to the boy I can't have

I'm in love with an unattainable boy

I could write pages about his hair, his smile, his voice.

Or the way he makes me feel like nothing else matters in the world,

just him and me.

He understands me the way nobody else can, as if he sees straight into my soul.

He can tell how I feel with just one look,

memorising my quirks and moods, what pisses me off and what makes me happy like nothing else.

I could get lost in his eyes, it's sounds so cliche but it's true,

I could look into them forever, such a mesmerising shade of blue,

they could so easily be cold but for me they are warm,

the heart of a flame.

His eyes house so much hurt and pain, grief and despair.... And love.

Love for me.

He notices things about me that no one else does, reading my soul as if I'm his favourite book.

Being with him is easier than breathing.

We can be silent,

his hand wrapped around mine, my cheek in his neck.

We can laugh,

endlessly,

as he showers me with kisses, little pecks all over my face, cheeks, neck, until I'm gasping for breath.

We can talk,

about anything and everything,

I don't need to hide anything from him, and I don't think I could even if I wanted to,

he accepts me the way I am no questions asked,

the way I've always accepted him.

It's odd writing about him this way

I know I can't have him anymore.

We're toxic for each other, only perfect when we're alone.

So many obstacles that we just can't even try to get over anymore,

I wish I could set them all on fire, destroy anything that comes between us.

It doesn't work that way.

I can see our future, how perfect it could be,

but I won't change him, so it won't work.

I could change myself but then we wouldn't be us anymore,

we work, because we are different

we break, because we are different.

Oh darling what's to become of us?

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