6. I hate
I hate the way our eyes sail across the room as if it were small boats on a raging ocean, only to crash so very briefly, that it almost felt like nothing.
I hate the way I can’t get you out of my head, like you were a symphony of trouble stuck in my brain, impossible to ever let go.
I hate the way you look at me, with a look full of love, passion and wonder, yet also filled with so much hate, hurt and sorrow, and every time it feels like you rip my heart out.
I hate that you look so much happier without me, as if small sparkles from the endless void finally rained down on you after a shower of darkness.
I hate that I was the one to push you away, trying to protect myself, and that you didn’t care at all, as if everything meant nothing.
I hate how songs always are about you, and how I always manage to spot you in the biggest crowds. I hate always having to watch your back, and never your heart, as I used to.
But mostly I hate myself, because I never manage to speak up and smile to you, only helping to create a bigger, and more endless void between us.