I go to the mirror and try to get rid of my rosy cheeks and my red puffy eyes, splashing cold water. I look in the mirror once I'm finished and sigh heavily.
He has no idea what kind of shit I've been through, but I also don't know what kind of shit he went through. I scratch my wrists harshly and look at myself again. I'm such a wreck.
"Isla?" I hear Mali say as she knocks gently on the door, scared to frighten me. I go and unlock the door, opening it so she can examine my appearance.
"I'm such a baby" I laugh lightly, trying to increase the mood. This only makes Mali frown even more.
"You are not a baby Isla, he just hit you hard in the heart." she smiles slightly grabbing my hand as we make it to the clothing rack. "They are doing their sound check right now, so you have time to choose their outfits for tonight's show." she smiles at me as I chuckle.
I start off with Luke’s attire for the concert, then Michaels, Ashton, and finally Calum. I study Calum's clothing intently, not knowing what he should wear. I look at the black skinny jeans, and his grey muscle tank; as I imagine what he will look like on stage. I smile and nod as I pair it with his black vans.
I hear four teenage boys running as they run towards the racks of clothing, focussing on what I've chosen for them. They smile and nod except for Calum.
"What’s wrong?" I ask sighing heavily as he turns towards me, rolling his eyes.
"I'd never wear this" he scoffs as I nod. I walk towards him and put the clothing back on the rack.
"Okay, then choose what you'll wear. Since you hate mine so much" I scoff as he bites his lip. He puts the tank-top back as he grabs a grey shirt.
"The tank-top doesn't suit me too well, you had the colour scheme right, just not the type of shirt," he says dryly as he's teaching me this huge lesson on clothing. I nod at him and turn away from him, walking towards the couch and sitting down, putting my head in my hands.
I calmly breathe and grab my phone looking at it, the lock screen is of Calum and I when we were around eight, cuddling on the couch with our eyes closed and faces inches apart. I look back at Calum and sigh wiping my eyes, I miss my best friend. I notice I got a text from my dad asking how things were going. I type back a quick reply and stand up.
I make my way out of the dressing room to the arena exit, making sure my lanyard was on my neck, sighing of relief I make my way outside to catch some air. I stand against the wall and look at the sky, I can't always think Calum will be there for me. I can guess he's been trying to forget about me like I've wanted, but being here is hurting him more and more each passing minute.
"Isla?" I hear that voice that brings me to regret, guilt, and sadness.
"Yes, Calum?" I ask sighing heavily, not looking at him, I can't. I feel his presence beside me as he takes a smoke out of his jeans, lighting it then taking a puff.
"We need to talk" he states as I shake my head. I can sense he's exhausted, I am too.
"What is there to talk about? You had a lot to say earlier, want to keep making a dig at my weaknesses or?" I question, putting my hair behind my ear. I turn towards the tall boy as he puts the cigarette out turning towards me.
"I actually do have a lot to say to you, but I can see we both don't know what each of us has been through. So, I'm going to let you explain your side of the story before I get to mine." he simply states looking into my eyes, like he's staring into my soul.
I sigh deeply and shake my head, "No" I simply state walking away from him.
"Isla!" he exclaims running after me grasping my hand, I jerk my wrist forward turning towards him. "Don't run away from me ever again" he states holding back his tears.
"Don't start with me. Just don't bother talking to me besides work Calum Thomas" I yell, he lets go of my wrist and looks at me, studying my actions.
"No, I'm not going to let you leave me again," he said shaking his head. I scoff and wipe my eyes, tears falling down faster than ever.
"I don't want to talk to you ever again, just leave me alone," I say calmly, walking into the arena and making my way towards the dressing room. I spot Mali talking to Ashton, and find Luke studying my face seeing I was again crying.
"Isla, why are you crying?" he asks coming towards me standing in front of me, using his thumbs to wipe my eyes. I shake my head, "Isla?" he asks again as I bite my lip.
"I'm fine Luke, thanks" I smile slightly, walking towards Mali and pulling on her arm. "I can't be here anymore, I can't work with him or I will start crying," I tell her as she wraps her arms around me hugging me.
"We all should have asked you this before actually doing it" she chuckles slightly as I nod.
"That would have been nice" I smile a bit, "I mean I could put up with it for a couple weeks, but if it gets worse than this, I`m going back home” I added as she nodded. She looks at my face and wipes away the last bit of the tears I have. “I cry too much” I laugh as she shrugs.
“not as much as Calum” she tries to joke but both our smiles fall. “I think both of you should work this out, it’s tearing you both apart.” She states as I nod. I look to exit to see Calum storm in, a red-haired girl following after him. This girl is wearing booty shorts, a crop top, and heels; I cringe at the girl who keeps trying to tug his arm.
“Cal, please stop and tell me what the fuck is wrong!” the mystery girl shrieks as I cringe at her voice. I look over to Mali as she rolls her eyes at the girl.
“Who is she?” I whisper as Mali scoffs.
“Calum’s repeated hook up,sane,” she says coldly frowning and shaking her head.
“Is she American?” I ask as she talks in a different accent than Australian and British as Mali shakes her head. “Canadian?” I ask, Mali nods agreeing with my question.
I see Calum stop in his tracks and turn towards the red head and bites his lip. I see he grabs her by the waist and pulls her closer kissing her forehead. Are they hooking up or actually dating? Because I don’t think hook ups kiss each other's foreheads.
“I’m just not in a good mood Sasha” he sighs pulling away and making his way towards me. He gives me cold looks and pushes his body into my storming passed me, causing myself to fall. I look up at Calum who looks down at me, rolling his eyes.
I get up and grab his arm and leading him towards the bathroom, locking the door behind us. I stand against the door as he groans coming towards me.
“What the fuck Isla!” he yells, his face inches away from mine, his eyes staring into mine.
“You’re right, we need to talk,” I say calmly sitting down and bring my legs up to my chest. I sigh looking up at him, as he sighs sitting down in front of me.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he says coldly; I roll my eyes at his behaviour.
“I left Sydney because I had to, I didn’t want to, I was forced to” I started off, his head darted up and looked at me. “I was crying the whole way to the airport, my dad told me to ‘suck it up’, so I tried to. I arrived in London, my mom also telling me to ‘suck it up’, I was so angry with them.” I breathe deeply, seeing Calum is intently watching my actions.
“After a couple months to a year, my so-called step-sister, she began to lash out her hate for her parent's divorce. She blamed this all on me, so she began mentally abuse me. A year passed and she would assault and abuse me, she would kick me and punch me.” I wiped my eyes, not looking at Calum. “She actually tried stabbing me once, I locked myself in the bathroom various times and she would kick the door open. Luke’s cover actually kept sane and from killing myself. It was around a year before I moved back here, that I looked at flights to come home, I couldn’t afford it.” I glanced at Calum who played with his fingers. “She’s actually gone to rehab for this and I don’t know if they’ll let her out.” I laughed slightly. “So now I am back” I looked at Calum, wiping my eyes.
I heard him sniffle and get up, opening the door and closing me in the bathroom.