I stare at my hands as Mali makes her way through traffic with 5sos on the stereo. She taps her fingers against the steering wheel as I watch intently as she smiles at the voice that was singing, I'm guessing this was Calum.
"And I try, and I try, and I'm trying too hard again" she sings softly as I smile at her. Mali was like an older sister to me, she was always a phone call away and when I reached that time in the month I could always talk to her about what to use and what goes where. She taught me how to shave, apply makeup, and what latest fashion to wear. She taught me how to become the person I am today, even though she was always so sassy.
"What if he doesn't want anything to do with me ever again?" I ask her. She turns down the volume and looks over to me as we park the vehicle already arriving. I stare at her wanting her to be completely honest with me.
"Isla, he loves you and his love just can't stop. He may freak out and swear and flip his shit but he will never abandon you. I think he will want to include you in everything, but if he doesn't just make him jealous because he's gotten more jealous over the years. His boy hormones or something" she laughs as I ease up. I smile at her and nod.
I grab my wallet and phone and make my way towards the entrance with Mali by my side. She enters before me and shows our VIP passes as security leads us to the back. Right away I spy the head makeup artist, Lou. I smile and I look around.
"This is everything I thought it would be" I smile taking snapchat videos of the whole dressing room. I look to the corner of the room and spy a tall blonde haired boy, Luke Hemmings.
I walk over to the corner and cross my arms and stare at the boy smiling. He notices someone is staring at him and turns towards me looking down before taking a double take, he smiles wide before picking me up and hugging me tight.
"Isla! What are you doing here?" he asks smiling at me putting me back down. I smile up at him and notice the lip ring and roll my eyes.
"I'm actually here because I'm the new clothing stylist for both bands" I smile up at him, he looks down at me and laughs.
“Wait so you’ll be joining us for the whole tour?” he asks his eyes lighting up at the sheer thought, I nod rolling my eyes.
I look around the room and spot the clothes rack going over. I see four different racks as I spy each name on them, each rack has each members clothing on them. I go to Calum’s and look at the series of flannels, black and white shirts, black and blue skinny jeans, and his shoes. I laugh to myself knowing that Calum and I dress alike and are alike in so many ways.
“Luke it’s time for sound check” I hear a familiar voice as I sharply turn around, Calum Hood is standing a few feet away. I’m guessing he sensed someone was staring at him as he turns his gaze off of Luke, and onto me. I gulped at his presence, him being so much taller and so much more filled out everywhere.
“Okay just let me get my shoes” Luke yells, Calum not paying any attention to Luke walks over to me. I start to shake in my spot as I notice he is now towering over me, a confused look on his face. Before he opens his mouth, Mali enters the room walking over to us. She concentrates on Calum’s facial expressions then looks to me, sees that I’m about to have a panic attack.
“Cal, you’re scaring her” she says through her teeth as she hands me a brown paper bag to breathe into. Mali looks at my face and notices that I’m about to cry. “Lets get you out of here and have you calm down.” Calum starts to follow us but Mali cuts him off. I stand outside of the dressing room door sitting on the ground with my head in between my knees.
“Mali get out of my way” he says rudely as I hear her groan.
“Just leave the poor girl alone Calum” she states back probably crossing her arms.
“She looks familiar; I can’t put my name on it” he says trailing off. I hear Mali chuckle at his absurd behaviour.
“You know exactly who she is Calum, you just don’t want to” she states then exiting the room and kneeling beside me. She wraps her arms around me as I let tears escape. “Calm down Isla, please” she says softly as I nod.
“I can’t do this Mali, whenever I see him I feel guilty and all my feelings I’ve had for him come back. I can’t look at him, I just can’t” I sob quietly as I hear people approach us. I look up and see Luke kneeling in front of me. I notice the other two band members look at us quizzically.
“What’s wrong Isla?” I hear Luke ask looking concerned at my well-being. H takes his thumbs and wipes my eyes as I slightly smile back at him.
“It’s nothing, I’m fine” I say getting up and straightening out my outfit. I look at all of the boys, then I look to see Calum standing in the doorway crossing his arms. “I should probably introduce myself. I’m Isla and I’m going to be your stylist for your shows on this tour. I love fashion and if your outfit is complete utter trash then speak up because then we can both choose something together.” I say looking around at the boys.
I see Mali eye Calum as he tries to process my name and who I am.
“Wait, Isla McKyintyre?” he asks biting his lip as I nod slowly. He nods in response and walks away from everyone at a quick pace, I look at Mali as she motions me to go after him. I start running at full speed after him, as soon as I catch up to him I grab his arm and jerk him back. Sensing he’s angry he jerks his arm back forward taking me with it.
“Calum, stop!” I exclaim as he turns to me sharply. He eyes me up and down and shakes his head.
“No! Don’t tell me to stop Isla, don’t tell me anything.” He yells at me as I take a step back.
“If you just let me explain everything Calum” I say before he steps towards me backing me up against the wall. He looks at my face and turns his into pure disgust.
“Let you explain? Explain why you ripped my heart out and shattered it four years ago? Explain why you didn’t have the fucking decency to text or call or email me during those four years? Explain why you’re standing in front of me right now and claiming to be our stylist? Explain all that Isla Ramone and I will try to understand how much shit and hurt you put me through” he stares at me; tears are flowing down his face like they’re flowing down mine.
“I don’t know how” I stammer out looking down at my feet. Mali runs in front of Calum, he stares at his sister in disbelief.
“You’re taking her side?” he looks at her and she nods. He shakes his head at her as she rolls her eyes.
“You’re acting like a child Calum” she spat out at him as the rest of the boys run to us trying to examine the situation. Calum looks at Luke and shakes his head.
“You’ve been talking to her for the past couple years and didn’t tell me?” he asks hurt that his best mate would do such a thing. Luke looks down in shame then looks at me.
“I didn’t know she was your Isla when talking to her” he got out as I wipe my eyes looking at Calum.
“Maybe you should actually get to know the situation I was in before pointing fingers at me and casting the blame on me as well.” I said coldly at Calum before walking to their dressing room bathroom and locking the door. I fall to the ground holding my knees to my chest before sobbing for an hour.