I was scrolling down my timeline on Twitter. The farther I went the more sad I got. All I saw were girls tweeting me telling me that I'm not meant to be with Cameron. That I'm waste of space and that I'm ugly,fat, and disgusting for being Cam's girlfriend.
I can't deal with this...it's hard to deal with people that hate on you sometimes. As I was trying to calm down and not just break down,I here my Instagram go off. A girl about the age of 16 made a video and tagged me saying that I'm a whore and that Cam would be better off with her. I threw my phone onto the bed and ran to my bathroom sitting on the toilet. Should I do it or not. I don't know anymore.
E: "I can't deal with this!" I yelled looking at my drawer that held my reliever. My blade.
I took the blade and placed it against my wrist. I put my arm on top of the toilet so the blood wouldn't go on the floor. I sliced my skin. Breaking through the depression I'm held in. I sliced deep but not deep enough to cut my veins. You should cut your veins my anxiety told me already kicking in. Everybody will be happy including Cam.
E: "Maybe he will be happy." I said ignoring the front door opening and closing.
I cut more into my skin seeing the blood rush out of the cuts. I still didn't cut deep enough. Something was telling me not to. As I made a third cut into my skin,I hear the house keys fall onto the floor next to me.but ignored and I kept cutting. I look up to see Cameron with a shocked face.
C: "Emily..." He said I could hear the sadness in his voice.
E: "I'm sorry Cam I just couldn't...I had to do it...I..I'll understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. Everybody leaves me eventually." I said the tears kept falling and falling. I couldn't stop them.
C: "No I'm not leaving. I love you. Why'd you do it? Did I do something wrong? Did I... Not give the love you want? I'm sorry if I did something you could've talked to me about it...I... My love,why'd you do it?"
E: "I'm sorry." I said sobbing as I did so. He pulled up onto my feet and brought me into his chest. I felt loved and cared for in his embrace. We walked together into the room. I sat down on the bed next to Cam. I was looking straight at the blade on the floor.
C: "Emily...No." He said realizing that I was looking at the blade.
E: "I'm sorry." I said as my eyes involuntarily let go of a tear.
C: "What caused all this? Was it me?"
I simply grabbed my phone and put in the password and let him watch the video. You could see the anger in his face. I showed him the tweets.
C: "Babe,you actually believe this.? You're mine. I love you. Yeah I love my fans but like family. I Love you. I want to get married with you. Have little Cam's and Emily's running around the house. I love you. You're mine and mine only. The fact that they made you so sad that you had to turn to a blade gets me sad and disappointed. When something is wrong I want you to come to me not to the blade."
He took my hands in his and kissed the fresh cuts on my arms.
C: "Look I love you and I don't want you hurting yourself. You're my everything if something happened to you I don't know what I would do."
E: "I'm sorry Cam. I just couldn't deal with it. I trust you but,I was scared you would leave me if I told you I self harmed. I'm sorry."
C: "Hey,It's okay my love. I would never leave you." He said grabbing my face in his hands and kissing me passionately.