Soul Search


14. 14


February 2nd,

Monday morning, I lazily scooted around my bed. Not planning to get up and get ready for school. I'm not in the mood today, well, I'm always not in the mood every Monday. I hate Mondays. It felt like hell. I took my phone placed on the nightstand and unlocked it. Message from Tyson, as usual. Nothing new.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow morning, we'll go to school together." His text from last night. I looked at the time. It's seven thirty-two in the morning. He'll be here in less than ten minutes so I better get up and get dressed.

"I'm not feeling well today. I don't feel like going to school." Message sent. Yep, yay for sleep. I closed my eyes and was about to fall back asleep when my phone beeped.

"You okay? I'm almost there. I'll check on you." He replied. Ugh, times like this I just want to be left alone in my room. But there's no way I can convince Tyson that he doesn't need to check on me and that I can handle it. He's always worried about me when I get sick, though he shouldn't be worried right now. It's just my Monday Sickness.

I dropped my phone back to the nightstand and any minute now, my mom is going to wake me up.

My door opens and she enters the room. See? I have future readings. Lol. I look at her to let her know I'm awake.

"You're up early." She says. I know, usually I'm still asleep at this time that's why I need her to wake me up every school morning. Today is oddly weird that I am up this early.

"Not feeling well, menstrual cramps. I think I should skip school today." I said. She nods and walks out of the room.

"Alright, get some rest. Breakfast is in the fridge, heat it up later. I'll be heading to work in two hours." She says before closing the door behind her. Love it when I get to skip school and also hate it because I'm freakishly lazy. I hate to admit that Ethan is right, that he's not lazy and I am.

"You know if you could only control the laptop and you can just read these on your own, I would let you. Because I'm sleepy and hungry at the same time. You could just wake me up later on and tell me what happened." Isaac said. He's right, I know there isn't much interested things in here because the fact that it's just like a day tour of my day, and some of it isn't really important. We just need some bits of it so we could come up with a conclusion.

"I agree, but I can't. I'm sorry. I promise to make it up to you. Okay?" I said looking at him with puppy eyes. He rolled his eyes over me then back at the computer. I laughed lightly.

"Yeah, it doesn't seem like I have any choice." He answered.

It has been five minutes since mom left my room, I'm still staring at the ceiling. I couldn't sleep. Maybe I should just go to school? Or maybe not. I don't know anymore.

Three knocks hit my door and I wait for it to open but it didn't.

"Aliyah? Open up. It's me." Tyson's voice came on the other side. The door isn't locked, he could just go open it. I turned back on the opposite direction, facing the wall. The door opened and I heard someone closing in on me. I closed my eyes pretending I'm asleep.

"I know you're not sleeping." He says. I hate how he knows me so well that he even recognizes my breath when I'm awake. Ugh. I opened my eyes and turned to him.

"Get dressed, you're not skipping school again." Ugh! I hate it. He sounds like a mother. My mother even insisted to let me stay at home. "Your mom said you have menstrual cramps, I know you don't. You just had your period two weeks ago."

I whined not saying a thing while I leave my bed. I took my towel and was about to go straight to the bathroom when he pulled my wrist back, causing me to turn back to him.

"Love you." He said then he kissed my forehead. I nodded as I purse my lips in a straight line, I entered the bathroom without saying a word and he let go of me.

*Fast Forward*

"Thank God." Isaac whines again. I don't even know why he's always complaining when he's the one who came up with this idea to hack my blog and go through them.

I ignored him instead.

"He is not suffocating, he just wants what's best for you." Katie says after I told her that maybe Tyson is getting a little too controlling. And yes, somehow it's like suffocating me. Like he's holding me back from what I want.

"I'm just thankful you didn't skip school today. You're not in middle school, Aliyah. And your calculus grade isn't going to smoke weed to get high by itself." Great, now my best friend sounds like a strict mother as well and her joke is not as funny as you think.

Isaac laughs. "It's funny."

"By the way, have you submitted the requirements for your fancy architecture school you're going to sign up in?" Katie asks. Now that she mentioned it, that's probably the reason why I keep getting so much e-mails. I don't even check it, but it's probably from Mrs. Bradley–the architect who works here in Seattle. She said she'd help me I just needed to give her some of my works.

"Haven't really worked on in yet." I don't really think I could work it out. I don't even know anymore.

"Don't overthink too much, okay? It's just school. It'll be over soon and you'll be in New York before you know it." She says again, motivating me. I nodded because there was really nothing I could do. She's right, Tyson is right. I'm wrong and I'm being a lazy middle schooler.

"You better go, there's your guy." She says and I looked to find Tyson. He's standing outside the exit. "Cody is flooding me texts because we're going to a family dinner and it's a two-hour drive. We can't be late. Bye!" She waves me goodbye as we approach Tyson and she leaves me with him.

"Do you want me to be brutally honest with you?" Isaac says again. I sensed that he's going to say something stupid again or complain about how long this journal will go on.

So I answer him, "Nope."

"Okay, here goes." He continues even though I already said no. He's so impossible. "The fact that your relationship with Tyson and how detailed it is when you write it here is really sickening." He throws me a sick look. "And architecture school? Wow, I have so much more to know about you."

I'm quite surprised myself, the memories are coming back at me like the wave of the ocean. This is too much to take.

"Can we talk about this later? The next entry is Valentine's Day. I want to know what happened." I said as if we were watching a series and we're about to watch the climax of the story.

He whined again as he mumbled, "Fine."

February 14th,

Mom and dad were out, they're on a date to a fancy restaurant. Ethan is with his friends, they went to a club. And I'm here at Tyson's car. His eyes are focused on the road while he drives. I have no idea where we're going. I would really rather stay in bed tonight than go out, that's why I don't even bother asking him. I know he would say no and still push me to come with him so I save myself from another argument. He gets tantrums and I don't want him to kick the bumper of his car again.

He kills the engine after he parks the car. I realized that we're here already. It's the seaside and there's a yacht parked against the shore. A staff greets him and smiles at me as we approach inside.

He pulls an elegant chair for me to sit. I sit without saying a word. The table is white. Everything is white, the wall, the floor, chairs. It's so elegant and fancy. Sometimes I hate how rich their family is. Not because I'm jealous, I just want it to be practical. You know, as simple as possible. Though I should really be thankful because not all girls get to experience this stuff.

The past few weeks, I've been really cold to him. He notices it but I always tell him I'm just tired of the school-works. Since I tend to have more home works than him. He's an A-straighter, perfect GPA, rich, not to mention his looks and attitude. Goodness, how could I ask for more right?

He's smiling at me right now while he sits in his chair. I smile back and turned to face the ocean. His phone beeped once, but it's not a text tone. More like a notification tone of an app. I glanced at him, he's holding his phone and reading something on it. His smile fades as his gaze turned to my eyes that stare at his. A look of disappointment. I looked completely puzzled.

"It's an e-mail from Mrs. Bradley, she wants me to inform you to send the requirements. She's giving you until two a.m. later since you weren't answering her e-mails and her calls." I turned away. Damn it, I haven't finished it yet. I don't want an argument tonight. I knew I should have just stayed home. Ugh. Valentine's Day is a curse.

"Tell her I'll send it tomorrow, the plan I'm working on is almost finished so don't worry." I lied. It's not. My progress is at 45% and I can't finish that in one night. I'm just thinking about bailing it. I'll figure it out before I graduate. There's really so much time for it. Ethan's going to graduate first then the year after that, it's going to be me.

Tyson nodded and dialed a number. He left the table without saying a word. He's talking to someone I don't know. He comes back after five minutes and then smiles again to me. I wonder if he knew I was lying, or he didn't. It's really hard to read his expression every time I look at him and it's so unfair because when he looks at me, it's like he's reading a book. Am I that readable? Or he just knows me so well?

"Let's skip the date." I said and Isaac sighs in relief. Yep, I'll save him from the sickening part since I know how he thinks about it. It's the least I can do for now.

"Thank you." He says and I just nod for an answer.

Tyson drops me off at home and gives me a goodnight kiss. I'm a little tipsy from the wine we drank tonight. He didn't let me drink so much because he knew I had something to finish. I'm surprised that he doesn't even pressure me about the requirement I need to send to Mrs. Bradley tonight. He just reminds me about finishing it.

I walk inside the house and mom is watching the TV. She waits for me to get home every time I go out with Tyson. He has never broken mom's trust, and so have I.

"How's your date?" She asks while I kick of my heels. My feet are killing me.

"Okay." I respond shortly. She turns off the tv, I assume she's going back to their room. She follows me in the hallway and I enter my room. I don't say a word since it's been a long night.

I took a quick shower and headed to my bed. I opened my laptop and began to look through my project. It's impossible to finish tonight. It stresses me out so much I started to re-think everything. Like I said, I have so much tine before I graduate. I figured maybe I could just do this after this school year. I need to figure things out first if this is what I really want. I know I'm being half-lazy right now but I'm also being half-true about knowing what I really want.

Isaac clicked on the next entry, he doesn't even wait for me to tell him to flip to the next page. I guess he's quite curious now and that he's a bit interested on what's about to happen.

February 15th,

The morning I woke up, I received an e-mail from Mrs. Bradley an hour ago and I so don't want to read it. My phone beeped, it's a text from Tyson.

Tyson: Have you read Mrs. Bradley's e-mail? :)

He seems okay today. I don't remember sending Mrs. Bradley anything today. I literally just woke up. If anything, it's not even morning anymore. The heat tells me it's already afternoon. But I sense a good news coming so I embraced myself and opened her e-mail.

Good day, Miss Aliyah Nicholson Evans. I am happy to inform you that your project has been accepted by the critics. We would be glad to see you on our campus by the school year you enter your college chapter.

You are also invited to a dinner party with the aspiring architects who have just passed the critic's test on Saturday (February 21st) on Grace Vi Hall. Seven O'clock in the evening.

Dress code requires a semi-formal attire. We hope to see you there!

-Ar. Holly Bradley

My eyes are still in deep shock. I don't remember sending anything to Mrs. Bradley. In fact, I don't even remember finishing my project last night. I thought I made myself a deal and that I would just go through this the year after my graduation.

Me: Tyson, what did you do?

I quickly charged my laptop because I left it open last night so the battery drained. I waited for it to power on. My phone beeped again.

Tyson: Please don't just call me Tyson when I just saved you. You're welcome, btw.

Saved me? Saved me from what?

My laptop screen lit up and the first thing I see is my unfinished project that I left open before I fell asleep. I'm still clueless here. I feel like my mind is solving a really hard calculus equation. I checked on my sent items. My account sent an e-mail to Mrs. Bradley last night, just before the clock hits two a.m. There's an attachment linked to it, I clicked it and it started to download. The file immediately opened when it's finished syncing in.

It's a finished cadd project proposal. Complete with interiors, exteriors, and other explanation. My name is written at the bottom right of the presentation. It's not good enough that I can make this plan even better but it's good enough to make the critics believe that I created it.


Last night. Phone call.

So that's why he didn't seem to bother pressuring me about the project. He knew I was lying and he knew I didn't have any plan to submit it that night.

He called someone to do it for me. He's so smart that he made the project less amazing so the critics won't doubt that I was the one who did it. (Which I honestly didn't)

I shouldn't be upset with him. I know what he did was nice but he has to let me agree to this kind of shit first. Ugh, it's not his decision to make. It's mine. Damn it.

Me: Thanks baby.

I replied, coldly. Though he's not going to notice it because it's only a text message.

I decided to hide my anger on him. It won't do me any good. I know he only did it because he thinks that it is what's best for me. I just wanted him to know that I appreciated that, but I don't need him to know that I'm upset about it. Not yet. I want to save another argument.

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