"Get Up!" Thorin shouted to the snoozing troop of thirteen dwarves, one hobbit, and a human girl and of course Gandalf. "If we want to make it to the edge of the Misty Mountains we need to leave. Bumber, start on breakfast. Fili, Kili, and Nessa get the ponies ready. And Ori fill the water bottles. Hurry up I want to leave in an hour."
The trio wondered over to the ponies. Nessa, walked right up to her horse and patted his neck, while saying something in elvish. "Silver, my friend for many ages, I fear our parting is coming soon. Fear not, for I shall find you again."
"You speak the tongue of elves?" The young prince said in astonishment. "When did you learn it?" Kili continued.
"I lived with the Elves in Lorien for a time." She replied sweetly. "Many of us were brought up in the way of Elves." She continued to brush her horse, and hummed to herself the song of the dwarves. The two spirited princes heard and soon broke out in song.
Far over the Misty mountain cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day
To find our long forgotten gold
The pines were roaring on the height
The winds were moaning in the night
The fire was red, it flaming spread
The tress like torches, blazed with light.
Nessa laughed, but joined them just the same.
The mountain smoked beneath the moon.
The dwarves they heard the trump of doom.
They fled the halls to dying fells
Beneath his feet, beneath the moon.
Her voice rang out above the others and the sound was that of water falls and trees wrestling in the wind. It mesmerized all who heard. She enchanted many when she sang the songs of her people in the north. Thorin stood by, hiding behind a tree listening with admiration. He looked to Kili and saw that his eyes were filled with a glow a bright beautiful glow. Thorin couldn't help but envy the happiness of his nephew. Once Nessa finished her song, Thorin came walking over to the three of them.
"Are you ready?" He asked
"Yes uncle," Fili responded "all we need is to pack the leftover food." Bomber always made to much.
"Good we leave in fifteen minutes. Be ready." With that Thorin turned and walked away.
The three returned to saddling and brushing the horses. But it wasn't long before she began another song of the her people.
"May it be a evening star, shines upon you. May it be when darkness falls, your heart will be true. You walk a lonely road, oh how far you are from home.
Mornië utúlië believe and you will find your way. Mornië alantië a promise lives within you now.
May it be the shadows call, will fly away. May it be your Journey on to light the day. When the night is overcome, you may rise to find the sun.
Mornië utúlië believe and you will find your way. Mornië alantië a promise lives within you now.
A promise lives within you now."
"That's beautiful!" Kili exclaimed. "Where did you learn it?"
"My mother used to sing it to me while I slept. I known it since I can remember." Nessa said pulling up into her saddle. "We better get going. Hand me the rains to the ponies that carry the food and supplies." Fili handed her the rains and Nessa rode off in the direction of the camp. Kili watch her ride out of sight and sighed.
"Kili! Kili!" His brother shouted bring him back to earth.
"What is it?" He asked a bit annoyed at his brother for yelling.
"By Durin do you have bad for her." Fili teased. "Come on we need to get back to camp. Grab minty, floppy, and those other three. I'll take the others."
"I do not have it bad. I just like her!" Kili argued as threw the rains over his arm and marched off to camp.
"Whatever little bother." Fili said following behind him.
Soon the happy troop was on their way to the range of the Misty Mountains.
They weren't long on the road when the sky grew grey and it began to rain. Soon all thirteen dwarves, the hobbit, and Nessa were soaked to the bone.
"Mister Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori shouted from the back, thinking a wizard would solve all problems with the weather.
"It is raining master dwarf. And it will continue to rain until the rain is done." Gandalf answered. "If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard."
"Are their any?" Bilbo asked.
"Any other wizards?"
"There are five of us. The greatest of our order is the Saurman, the white. Then there are the blue wizards. You know I've quite forgotten their names."
"And who is the fifth?"
"That would be Radagast, the brown."
"Is he a great wizard? Or is he more like you?" Bilbo asked not meaning to be sarcastic.
Gandalf shoot him a look before answering. "I think he is a very great wizard in his own way. He's a gentle soul, and prefers the company of animals to others."
Then rode on in silence. Well, kind of Nessa, Fili, and Kili always had something to talk about. Soon they stopped at a half burned house. Thorin dismounted and wondered around the dilapidated houses. Once he saw it satisfactory he turned back to the rest.
"We'll camp here for the night." He said. "Fili, Kili, look after the ponies, make sure you stay with them. Gloin, get a fire going."
Thorin turned to what was once the fire place.
"A farmer and his family used to live here," Gandalf suddenly from behind, "we could make for the hidden. We could get food, rest, advice."
"I have told you already, I will not go near that place." Thorin retorted.
"We map we can not read, Lord Elrond could help us."
"When the dragon attacked Erebor, what help came from Elves? Orks plunder Moria, desecrate your sacred holes, the Elves look on and did nothing. You ask me to seek refuge from the people who betrayed my grandfather, betrayed my father?"
"You are neither of them." Gandalf said trying to reason with him. Thorin only turned and ignored him. Gandalf had reached his limit of dwarves. He spun on his heels and left.
"Gandalf? Where are you going?" Bilbo asked.
"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense!!" He answered angrily.
"And who is that?"
"Myself Mr. Baggins!!! I've had enough of dwarves for one day!!" He mounted his horse and left. The hobbit turned to Nessa and Bifor, who were next to him.
"If he coming back?" The two had no answer to give him. So they both surged their shoulders.
Hours passed and still the Wizard hadn't returned. With is growing dark, Bilbo began to worry.
"It's been a long time." He said is complaint to Bifor.
The dwarf looked confused. "What?"
"Gandalf!!!" Bilbo exclaimed.
"He's a wizard!! He does as he chooses!! Here do us a favor take this to the lads." He said handing him three bowls of soup.
Bilbo looked at him annoyed, but did as what was asked. He walked over into the trees where Neesa, Fili, and Kili where with the ponies. He saw them just standing there frozen looking into the night. Getting in between the two dwarves, he attempted to hand them their food.
"What's the matter?" Bilbo asked once he realized that they weren't going take the food.
"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies." Kili said concerned.
"Only we've encountered a slight problem." Fili said finishing his brothers sentence.
"We had sixteen," Nessa jumped in, "and now theres, fourteen."
"Daisy and bongo are missy!!" Kili said coming around the tree after looking around.
"Well that's not good," Bilbo said still holding the soup. He looked down to see huge footprints in the earth. "And that's not good at all!! Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"
"No best not to worry him. We thought as our official burglar, you might like to look into it?" Fili said putting on his princely air.
"Ummm, something big uprooted these trees!"
"That was our thinking." Nessa said.
"Something very big, and possibly quite dangerous."
The dwarves moved slightly forward and ducked behind the trees. "Hey! There's a light!" Fili whispered.
"What do you think it could be?" He couldn't help but asking.
"Trolls!" Kili said with a fierce tone in his voice.
And before the hobbit could say 'shire' up jumped over his head Nessa and the princes. He wasn't far behind them still carrying the soup. After all, you know hobbits don't believe in waisting food. He looked over in the direction of the where the light was coming from. And saw that three huge trolls were sitting around a fire preparing their dinner. One in troll in particular cough this attention. He was carrying two ponies.
"He's got Mirtale and Minty!! I think their going to eat them. We have to do something!!"
Nessa turned to look at him. "Yes! You should!" She said taking the bowls of now cold soup away from him.
"Yes. Mountains trolls are slow and stupid. And your small their never see you. It perfectly safe we'll be right behind you." Kili assured him.
Fili came up behind him and began to push him towards the encampment. "If you run into any trouble, hoot once like barn owl, twice like a brown owl."
"Once like a brown owl? Twice like a barn....." He said to himself all confused. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" He looked back to see the others, only they weren't there at all, they had left him. Mastering up all his courage, he moved on.
"Mutton yesterday!! Mutton today!! And balmy if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow!!" One of trolls gripped.
"Quite your gripping!! These ain't sheep!! These is west nags!" Said the troll who was putting his freshly caught meet into a holding pin.
"Oh I don't like horse, I never have! Not enough fat on em!" Continued the other.
The three of them continued to fight and argue, while Bilbo thought of how he was going to get the horses free without being seen. Noticing that one of them had a knife of some sort, he attended to put his burglar skills to work and snatch it from the big brute. Just when he almost had his hands on it, the troll reached his arm back to grab his handkerchief at the same time scooping up the hobbit as well. Bilbos mind was in a whirl and it took all in him to keep his head. There was a sudden loud of someone blowing his nose.
"AWWWW! look whats come out of me looter! it's goy arms and legs and everything." said Brit.
"What is it" Asked Tom, who was the cook. Bilbo began to move around and to find a way out on the troops hand.
"I don't know but I don't like the way is widdles around!!" Brit said dipping Bilbo to the ground. Bilbo was soon to his feet and was looking for the nearest exit.
"Catch it!" Yelled William.
"It's to quick!" Tom said.
Brit bent down and grabbed the hobbit by his feet and hung him upside down. "Got ya! What are ye then? an over sized scible?"
"I'm a burglar hobbit" Bilbo said all confused and bothered.
"A burglarhobbit?" Brit asked all confused.
"Can we cook him?" William asked.
"We can try!" Tom said.
Just then from among the bushes jumped Fili, Kili, and Nessa. Kili jabbed at one of the trolls lower leg.
"Drop Him!" He yelled.
"You wha?" Tom said with angry scowl on his face.
Kili made a slight move with the sword in his hand. "I said, drop him!" Tom threw down the hobbit with a crash, luckily Kili caught him. Out from behind the trees came rushing to the hobbits aid, were all thirteen dwarves. In a moment they were in deep battle with the trolls. Bilbo scrambled to his feet and dogged and blocked the heavy feet of the trolls. He made his way to the holding pen, picked up Brits sword, which fell out of his belt a long time ago, and began to slice through the rode that held the ponies in. Within a moment they were free. Indeed the hobbit felt very satisfied with himself. But not for long, one of the trolls saw him and almost at once had him in his grasp.
The battle down as two of the trolls held out Bilbo by his arms and legs for all to see.
"Bilbo!" Fili yelled out and rushed to save him, if Thorin hadn't help him back.
"Lay down ye arms!! Or we'll rip his off!!"
(I know, it sounds a lot like the movie. But trust me, it's going to get a lot Better here real soon. Promise! I'm just trying to build a solid foundation. That's all.)
Not wanting to see him dismembered, Thorin gave in and threw down his weapon. Followed by the rest. Instantly they were bound and put in sacks. Others were put on a spit. At once the trolls argued about how they were going to cook them. One want to sit on them. Another wanted to grill them. Finally the "cook" said that they didn't have time for any of those things, because dawn wasn't far away and he had no intention of being turned to stone. This gave Bilbo an idea. Finally he could prove to Thorin that he did have the makings of an adventurer. He turned to Kili, lying in a sack beside him.
"I have an idea," he whispered.
"Have you seen Nessa?" Was all that he could get out of Kili. He was to worried that Nessa had gone missing. Bilbo jumped to his feet.
"Wait!! You are making a terrible mistake!"
"What?" William asked being the obvious stupid troll he was.
"I... I Meant with the... With the seasoning. Ummm sage doesn't go with dwarves. It's... it's not right, not right at all."
"What doing know about cooking dwarves?" Brit asked
"Hush!! Like the.... Eh burglarhobbet talk." William said. As he was spoke Bilbo saw Gandalf come running over the top of the rocks.
"Ummm... the secret to cooking dwarf is.... ummm... to skin them first"
Well you can only imagine how that stirred them up.
"What lies!"one said. "I eats them many dwarves with skins on. Boot an all! Nothing wrong with raw dwarf." He said picking up Bomber by his boots.
"NOT THAT ONE!!! HE IS INFECTED. HE'S GOT WORMS! IN HIS TUBES. In fact they all have parasites."
Tom was quick to throw Bomber back in the pile with the rest. Down he went with a crash and a boom.
"Parasites?!! We don't have parasites!!!" Thorin caught on and gave one sharp kick in Kili's back.
"MINE ARE THE BIGGEST PARASITES. I'VE GOT HUGE PARASITES!" Kili shouted out as loud as he could. The others did the same.
(I don't know about you, but that is one of the funniest Kili scenes in the first movie.)
Unfortunately the trolls weren't as stupid as they thought. If the wizard hadn't been there and sun hadn't come up over the top of the trees, and turned them to stone. They all would have been deep fried.