Day 2, Reason 2: Smile
I wanted to see Josh again. Yesterday he was the only bright thing in the room, the only thing full with color, and I just wanted to see if he had stayed that way. I wanted to know that he was not temporary like everything else in my life.
The rest of the staff loved him, he was such a gentleman. He was kind with women and men, and lovely with children. He was not of those extremely happy people, smiling at everybody all the time. I fact, I hadn’t seen him smile, not once. If he had, I hadn’t seen it.
They were talking about him and as much as I wanted to see him I didn’t want people to notice the need in my face. It wasn’t a need anyway, just curiosity. Was he really that alive? I stood up and headed to the bathroom and maybe later to the room where the kids spent most of his time.
I entered the bathroom that had big bush by the door. I sat on one of the couches inside and pulled my knees to my chest. Earlier in the morning I had seen another photo I did not wanted to see by I couldn’t avoid it, it was there on my Instagram feed as I scrolled down.
I pulled out my phone and headphones and decided I needed to play some music and relax. My songs were always in shuffle, I was always actualizing my songs, I only had one hundred and nine songs but they were all songs I truly liked, each one of them had something special.
I didn’t know how much time had gone or many songs I had heard when my phone buzzed with a text message.
Where r u?
It was my sister. I looked at my clock. Around forty five minutes had come and gone, it was ten minutes before all the kids began getting there. I sighed and unplugged my headphones. I stood up, went to the sinks and threw some water to my face. It was going to be a long day.
I got to the room, the staff of my group was already there but as always they were ignoring me, they didn’t care about me even if I could help lots. I sighed again and sat down on the floor and pulled out a book from my bag. I got really into the novel in one minute when I heard an exclamation.
I saw a male walking towards the room, he was far and I didn’t have my glasses on. I put them on but looked down at my book. I wanted to see him from up close; I wanted to confirm when he was close enough to touch me. I heard the door open, I didn’t look up. Heard him talk, I didn’t look up. I sensed somebody standing in front me. I closed the book, I looked up.
“Hey,” I said.
“Should we start?” He asked offering me a hand.
I was fighting a smile. He was still shining, he was still bright, and he was still alive. I grabbed his hand. “Yeah.” He pulled me up.
We started organizing the chairs and tables. I couldn’t stop watching him, I was like a stalker. When he placed the last chair down I talked. I had realized the afternoon before that I hadn’t introduced myself properly.
He looked up startled. There was something going on in his lips. “I’m Josh.”
“I know,” I whispered. He smiled.
His smiles were a gift maybe that was why he didn’t smile often. They were full of life, like him. They were warm and beautiful; they reflected pure happiness; that kind of smiles should not be given at random. And when he smiled something broke inside me but I didn’t know what it was.