I hate it, i hate this school i hate that i don't get privacy in my own room I hate Harry I hate his band mates and I hate my parents.
my dad is calling me... Should I go? If I don't then something really bad is going to happen to me. He is going to be furious if I don't obey. I could escape out of the window? No. To risky. I make my way downstairs. Slowly. Preparing my self for the pain. As I get to the bottom of the stairs a wall with the smell of beer hits me. Ughh it gets worse when he has been drinking. "Mariana get your ass over here" he says in a aggressive voice with a knife in his hand.
I'm not scared
I'm not afraid
I am terrifyed
I walk over to him slowly and he grabs me and starts cutting my left thigh I am screaming in pain begging him to stop at the top of my lungs. He slaps me so hard to make me shut up. Then he throws me over his shoulder and the scent of beer hits me again. He starts making his way towards the fireplace. Fuck. He presses my hand hard towards the glass and I almost faint of pain. It feels like my arm is burning of. He throws me to the floor and starts kicking me a couple of times. And the last thing he does is to grab the knife and cut a deep cut along the side of my stomach. Then I can't take it anymore
End of flashback
I find myself crying in my bed. Harry is out with the boys so I don't have to worry about him seeing me like this. This is one of the few things that make me cry. Mainly because I feel broken and that I can't be fixed. How can someone fix me when I already have the scars? The answer is they can't. I am still baling my eyes out and then I lift my shirt and look at my scar, then I hear the door open. Fuck. I can't stop crying. "Omg Mariana what's wrong?!?" Harry says worried. Running over to my bed. It was about 23:00 and I tried sounding confident while saying "ohh I just got something in my eye" that did not work. My voice cracked and sounded weak. "Mariana tell me... Please" his voice was soft and comforting. I wanted to but I couldn't. He can't know that I'm broken. "I...I...I cant" he wiped away a tear and said "look if this is about what Louis said then..." I cut him of "I don't give a shit about Louis" I said I almost stopped crying but I could tell there was tear here and there. "I can't figure you out, you are to complicated" he said. "Fine I don't need you trying anyway.
I don't need this
I don't need you"
"Mariana"he said hurt
"Don't say that"
Then I said "listen I didn't ask for this I don't want to shear my room with a famous boy band dude ok. I don't want all the girls sending me death glares every time I walk down the hallways. I don't need you to pretend to care"
"Who said I was pretending!? But whatever. I don't want to be your problem." He followed up a couple seconds later with
"But ya know there is something wrong. And I want you to tell me. Otherwise I'm walking out that door and I'm not talking to you again so you can get your wish"
That hurt, I don't know why.
But after reminding me about my past again I could feel my tears getting more and more while we had eye contact. "Your not going to tell me? Fine" he started walking towards the door. He opened and then stepped out. But before he closed it I said "Harry" but it came out more as a cracking whisper. He looked at me and I said "don't leave" he came and took of his shoes and went in to the bed with me and I cried in to his chest while he started singing one of his gay boy band songs. JK!...kinda
His voice was soo soft and comfy! I loved it. And I finally fell a sleep. He took away the pain of my past for a couple of hours
...He almost fixed me for one night