The next week was tiresome. All I could think about was Luke coming home soon and winter break. I just don't know what to think any more with Luke. I love him so much, but I am worried now. What if next time he's drunk or sober, he's not just gonna dance with some girl. What if he get's sick of a small town girl like me. He's becoming more and more famous with every concert he performs. What if he just rejects me all together. Being away from him too long has given me doubts. This week was been an emotional roller coaster. I have spent a good amount of it breaking down in tears. I just am scared and I honestly don't know how to handle this. It's not like there is some guide book out there that has been made for this kind of thing.
The only good thing the week has brought to me is that I got into a collage in New York for writing. And it's a full scholar-ship. I almost lost that though when I ran off, but luckily they didn't hold it against me. I haven't accepted yet. I think I want to think it over more before my parents find out I got in.. They will probably make me accept it. Not that I don't want. I really want to be a writer and I really want to get into this school. The one thing I am worried about it what will become of me and Luke if I accept this and go away. He probably will be on another tour and I can't just run off and see him when I am at collage, and he just can't run off and see me on tour. Will this be our whole lives, Him constantly away as he tour's the world and me stuck somewhere. I'm just so scared.
As time got closer to when Luke would be home, I got more and more nervous. What if things have changed between us. It doesn't help that Luke again has been too busy to call or text. I do know that he and the guy's arrive in two weeks and Luke has planned are whole time together........ To say the least, Those two week arrived fast.
The day the guys came back, I waited at Luke's house for him with a welcome home sign. His parents left about two hours ago and told me they were on their way. I was excited to be seeing Luke, I was also nervous. I feel like things have changed and I don't know if I am ready to face that. .... I watch many cars pass in his drive way , and maybe about 40 minutes of being at his place, a gray mini van finally pulled up. I held up my sign in hopes Luke is there. His parents got out and gave me a frown. Mrs. Hemmings than said," He got taken with the boys somewhere and left us with his luggage honey." I gave a small smile and said back," Well tell Luke to call me when he get's back." They took the luggage in and I took off.
I waited the rest of the day for Luke to call, and he didn't. I can only assume he is at a party right now and forgot all about me. I ended up falling asleep laying on my bed waiting for him call. When I woke up it was the next day and still no call. I got ready and went down stairs to eat breakfast at this point. i was disappointed at this moment. It's like all my fears are coming true and I don't know what to do. I feel that Luke doesn't love me anymore. I don't know how to handle this or what to do. My whole world is crashing down and all I can do is watch. When I finish eating I grab my bag and decided to head to the library. I leave my house and as I start walking down my drive way, a car pulls up. and Luke was driving it. I keep walking and he steps out and tries to catch up with me. " Camron, I'm sorry I didn't call and show up , but I got dragged into this welcome home party and I'm sorry," Luke tried to say to me. I turned to him and said," It's just so hard to try and understand all this when I feel like my world is crashing Luke. My life went down a huge cliff when we became long distance. I have no friends at school since I have come back and I'm having doubts whether or not I'm still good enough for you , and yesterday took another huge part of my heart. and Luke I just can't handle this." I fell right there on my lawn and started to ball my eyes out. and Luke came and held on to me.
" Luke, I have miss you so much and being apart I'm not sure how to take this anymore." Luke let me cry my eye's out and just listened. finial he lifted up my head, wiped my tears and said," I wasn't going to tell you this until later , but since your winter break is coming up, I thought I'd take you with me when I go back. I already go your parents to agree and it would be awesome to spend all this time with you." I gave him a kiss and said," Yes, I would love too." Luke than walked me back to his car and said he had a surprise for me.