You impatiently tap on your laptop screen, waiting for Louis to get on Skype. He doesn't usually take this long to answer your calls.
At last, he appears on the screen, smiling weakly. You smile back, then realise his isn't genuine enough to be true.
"What's up?" you ask, frowning. Louis' smile quickly vanishes and he looks momentarily vulnerable, but then it's up again and you ask yourself if his second-long vulnerability was just your eyes playing tricks on you.
"I'm fine, how are you, babe?" he chuckles, leaning forwards. But you don't answer. The frown is still on your face.
"Don't tell me you're fine, Lou," you then sigh.
"Come on, tell me what's wrong," you continue, pressing him to reveal himself.
He leans back again, laughing bitterly.
"That question isn't too easy to answer," he then replies harshly, looking away.
"Don't go like that on me, just tell me at least a part of what's wrong," you retort. He can have difficulties showing his feelings, but you're not having any of it right now.
The vulnerable Louis flashes into his face again, this time staying.
"Everything," he then mumbles, running a hand through his hair.
"What's an example of everything? Please tell me, I want to help," you insist, trying to catch his eyes. Even thought that's a bit hard, considering the fact that you're on Skype.
Louis just shakes his head, swallowing as if he's holding tears back.
"Just please don't leave me?" he then asks, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence. You feel your heart break as his voice breaks.
"Louis, I could never leave you," you say softly, your eyes still searching for his. He makes eye contact at last, nodding as he bites down on his lower lip.
He cuts himself off, running his fingers through his hair again, exhaling frustratedly.
"This is going to sound so stupid, but it's so much more," he starts. You nod, understanding. Sometimes it's a bit hard to summarise how you feel in actual words.
"I just feel like I don't do anything right. I feel like the other boys are so much more talented than I am. I feel like people are starting to get bored of me. I feel hopeless. I can't do anything. I can't seem to hit the high noted that Zayn can, I couldn't even make my dad stay when I was little," he adds with a second bitter laugh.
"There will always be someone better than me and sometimes, I just don't see the point anymore. There will always be a better singer, there will always be a better boyfriend, there will always be a better son, there will always be a better me," he sighs, looking away again.
"I'm sorry, you probably think I'm pathetic," he mutters. You shake your head, seriously shaken that he feels like that. He doesn't deserve to feel like that.
"I just need you here, I need to be able to just hug you and cuddle with you for no reason at all, I need to wake up and see you peacefully sleeping by my side. I need you," he chokes, cove in his face.
"And you know what, I hate myself for feeling sad. I have no reason to feel sad in comparison to others. Others don't even have a bed to sleep in, others don't have a girlfriend as amazing as you, I'm living the dream a lot of people have, but I'm sad and I feel so selfish," he finishes off.
"You're- you're not selfish, Lou, it's perfectly fine for you to feel that way. I'd be surprised if everything was honky dory all the time, considering the way you're forced to live. But please remember-"
He interrupts you fiercely.
"Don't tell me all that sweet stuff a therapist would say."
"I wasn't going to. I was going to say that you're the only you on this planet. So there can't be a better you. I could personally never get bored of you, your personality is way too interesting. And maybe you can do all the things others can, but you've still got an incredible amount of talent. And you have other things you do wonderfully in," you explain, ploughing on, even if he snorts.
"I'm going to take the next plane out to you and then we can do all the cute coupley stuff we never get the chance to do, okay?" you announce, raising your eyebrows at him. He nods.
"I love you," he then says in a small voice. You look him in the eyes for while before replying.
"I love you too, Louis Tomlinson. And the same can be said from so many other people. Please remember that."
Duuuuuuude do you ever go like okay I need to start trusting people and then you're like okay who do I trust and then you just laugh like a whale and slap your knee repeatedly cause you can't even trust yourself.
Anyway. This is one of the few imagines I actually like. Is it weird that I prefer writing the less cheerful ones?
I hope you liked it.