You're sitting next to a bed. A hospital bed. You wish you didn't have a reason to be there, but you have all the reason. You're holding a hand, the hand that belongs to your reason. The hand that belongs to your everything. The hand that you've held through storms and sunsets. The hand you hoped would never have to be held in a situation as dire as the one you're in.
You look up, letting your eyes rest on Liam's pale face. His eyes are closed, you can hardly hear him breathing. You know, soon there might not be anything to listen to. Not even a heartbeat. The thought makes you feel sick and panicky.
Suddenly Liam's eyes flutter open and he gives you a weak smile.
"You look like you're the one with the too weak kidney," he chuckles, the sound you're so familiar with turning into a cough. He tries to shrug it off, but you can see the pain in his eyes.
Phrases like 'acute kidney failure' and 'fatal' swarm your head, making it hard for you to think. You find yourself shaking your head, your eyes widened as you look at Liam. He sighs, taking a stronger hold on your hand. But you can still feel that it's not as strong a it should be.
"Hey, it's going to be fine. You're going to be fine," he tries to say, seeing if he can convince you. But you shake your head again, unable to bring a single word out of your mouth. Liam goes silent. You let it consume the atmosphere for a few minutes.
"The doctor said it could be fatal," you then whisper, the words barely audible because of the whirring of machines.
"He also said there was a chance they could treat it in time," Liam replies stubbornly. He tries to look impatient, but merely looks tired. Then his hand goes limp and his head leans back against his pillow.
"Please don't give up on me," he then breathes, tears filling his eyes. You can feel your own eyes burning and decide it's your turn to squeeze his hand. Liam swallows and sniffs, seemingly trying to regain his composure.
"I've already given up on myself, I'm sorry," he then murmurs, looking away. You reach out and turn his head back towards yours. You still feel absolutely destroyed, but you can't see him like that. Now you have to be strong for the both of you.
You bring his hand to your lips and kiss his knuckles, then look back to his eyes. The life in them has already disappeared. You can see that he's lost all hope and it hurts you.
"I haven't given up on you," you then mumble, keeping your gaze steady. He nods quietly.
"I'm just a little shocked. But you've survived things like these before. You can do it again. You need to hold on to hope, it's the most important thing," you state firmly. You can see the muscles in his jaw twitching, a nervous habit of his. One that isn't easily visible, but you've learnt to identify it.
Liam still looks as vulnerable as ever. He bites his lip, looking as if he's thinking hard.
"But the doctor said it could be fatal," he then says, repeating your words from before. You give him a small smile and shake your head, regretting that you've reminded him.
"And he also said there was a chance they could treat it in time," you retort softly. Liam nods, showing you that he's heard. You run your thumb over his knuckles, letting it move back and forth. There's a silence, not unlike the one before. But you know he's considering what you said. Then he breaks the quiet.
"If I d-"
"You won't," you cut him off mercilessly. He gives you a little glare.
"If I die," he then starts again, making sure you don't interrupt him.
"If I die, I want you to know that every second I've spent with you has been my favourite. I wish I had been there for you more often, instead of leaving you all by yourself for months at a time. I wish I'd been there for every single one of your birthdays. I wish I'd been there to make tea for you every morning. I wish I'd been there to always randomly hug you. I wish I'd been there to pull you closer at night when you were down. I wish I'd been there to do all those little things a good boyfriend does. And I'm sorry I wasn't there all the time," he sighs. You decide to stop him there.
"You have always been there for me, Liam. You've always done your best and that's what counts. So please don't think you're not good enough. You'll always be the best thing that I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing," you say, giving him another stern look. He gives you a small smile and half-nods. He opens his mouth to say something else, but is interrupted by the sudden arrival of his doctor.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Payne. I'm just here to give you your medicine. It may make you drowsy," he informs him, his professional, detached voice setting your teeth on edge. Liam nods and you can feel his hand shaking.
When the doctor's gone again, he looks back at you, fear evident in his eyes.
"Don't worry, you're just going to sleep for a while," you reassure him. He relaxes, but still looks scared.
"What if I don't wake up?" he then asks in a small voice, suppressing a yawn. You lean in to press your lips against his, trying somehow to give him the message that you trust it will be alright. Then you pull away.
"You will," you tell him, keeping your gaze on him as his eyes slowly flutter closed again.
Okay I hope the many pun opportunities didn't ruin this. And I hope it wasn't too bad. It seems a bit cheesy. I hope you guys liked it anyway. Have a nice eveninggggggg x