We'll All Go Together When We Go

Davis is a gay satire song writer. Jack and Leanne are hopelessly in love. Martin has just broken up with Agnes. Mel is new and single and perfect for Martin. As Davis, Jack, Leanne, Martin and Mel enter year their final year of school, none of them expect World War Three to erupt around them. I should probably say that this is a satire musical and if you are easily offended then you should probably leave the internet now. The songs used were written by Tom Lehrer who is a genius. As I am British, I have adapted some of the U.S lyrics for U.K lyrics. I have also updated some of the songs to reflect the society we live in. I have included videos of the original songs at the end of each song.

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12. Scene 12

(A classroom. The pupils are sitting on tables, swinging on chairs, throwing paper aeroplanes, etc. Leanne, Jack, Davis and Martin are sat centre stage. Mel walks in wearing a party hat and either blows a party whistle or pops a party popper.)

Mel: Happy National Brotherhood Week!

Martin: National what now?

Mel: National Brotherhood Week.

Jack: What is this craziness?

Martin: Don’t call her crazy. But seriously, what is this craziness?

Mel: It’s my Mum’s craziness. She’s really into celebrating everything – and I mean everything. December in my house is nuts. We celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, Bodhi Day, Pancha Ganapati and the Winter Solstice. One year, Ramadan fell in December and we celebrated Eid as well. You do not know true confusion until you see a Christmas tree with the Star of David, Star of Ishtar and the Lord Ganesh with Buddha in place of an angel. Personally, I think it’s a bit rude to celebrate all of these festivals with no rhyme or reason so normally I just ignore her but with all the conflict going on in the world, I think we could all use a little brotherhood. So… Happy National Brotherhood Week!

Davis: So what exactly is National Brotherhood Week?

Mel: Basically, it’s an American thing. One week of every year is designated National Brotherhood Week. This is just one of many such weeks honouring various worthy causes. But the general idea is that people who hat one another are supposed to put aside their issues and suddenly become best friends. I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another and I know there are people in the world that do not love their fellow human beings and I hate people like that. But the general idea is that people who hat one another are supposed to put aside their issues and suddenly become best friends.

Jack: Okay, so it’s like (make local reference.)

Davis: And the straight folks hate the gay folks,
And the gay folks hate the straight folks.
To hate all but the right folks
Is an old established rule.

Mel and Davis: But during National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,
Taylor Swift and Kanye West are dancing cheek to cheek.
It's fun to eulogize
The people you despise,
As long as you don't let 'em in your school.

Martin: Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks,
And the rich folks hate the poor folks.
All of my folks hate all of your folks,
It's American as apple pie.

All: But during National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,
New Yorkers love the Puerto Ricans 'cause it's very chic.
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can't stand.
You can tolerate him if you try.

Jack: Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics,
And the Catholics hate the Protestants,
And the Hindus hate the Moslems,
And everybody hates the Jews.

All: But during National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,
It's National Everyone-smile-at-one-another-hood Week.
Be nice to people who
Are inferior to you.
It's only for a week, so have no fear.
Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!

 

 

 

Teacher: (Makes loud noise) Quiet!

(Students right themselves.)

Teacher: We have some disturbing news. At 9:28 this morning, Britain joined forces with France and declared war on ISIS. France and Britain have begun to mobilize troops and are in the process of sending them to Syria. The government is encouraging anyone over the age of eighteen to volunteer. While enlisting is not currently mandatory, I have been told to inform you that conscription may soon be a reality. In light of these events, the head master as decided to send you all home early. Thank you for your time.

INTERVAL

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