Even i felt my colleague to be ok, i didn’t have a good night sleep, you know, in prison, they are good to you until you get in debt and then the circus comes in town … to be honest, i slept with my ass “glued” to the wall.
The first weeks were as normal as can be in a prison for a new inmate, a few guys asked for cigarettes, i don’t smoke, they beat the shit out of me, another bunch of guys asked for drugs, i don’t take any, they beat the shit out of me and someday as i expected some guys come around me in the showers, i said no, they beat the shit out of me and this being the foreplay in this world, four of them were holding my arms and legs and the fifth one was “getting ready”. I couldn’t move, drips of blood coming from my nose mixed with the water, i was so still, like a stone. The world collapsed.
No, it didn’t.
– Hey, hey, hey, boys … hold your horses !!!
“The surgeon” with like ten so ugly looking guys looked at me and my love bird.
Love bird went crazy and i can’t blame him.
– The fuck do you want ?!
Surgeon with a calm voice.
– The little shit is ours, we all want to be friends right?
Love bird was pissed off, he thought for a second, signal the others to let go and they went away.
I felt in a waterfall of happiness.
Back in the cell “the surgeon” asked me directly.
– What do you do for a living out there?
– I’m a psychologist.
– No shit ?! Hahahahahaha !!! Dangerous job, man !
– What do you mean ?
– Never mind. From this moment you stay by my side, don’t talk unless you’re really know what to say, don’t look into their eyes, don’t take shit from anybody and show them you’re ready to fight whatever the costs, capisci?!
– Got it man. But why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?
– I’m returning a favor. But don’t you think you don’t have to pay.
One thing came into my head: don’t tell me i would be your bitch. I took a deep breath and asked him.
– What can i do for you?
– You see, there is this inmate Steve, a very closed buddy of mine and he dived very deep in this drugs thing and religion, beautiful combination huh?! He is trying to set a record or something, he beat the shit out of a dozen, inmates, guards since he came here. He doesn’t talk to any of us, he’s very violent, he doesn’t want to talk to his mother anymore, he is just in this state of machine. The thing is i know his mother and how much she suffered, i know her life and this boy is all she has. I fear he might end up dead.
– Any info about Steve?
– Well, he grew in a very poor family, his real father was treating him and his mother like dirt, he was beating them almost daily. He grew up from police station to police station troubled kid, very troubled kid.
– Where i can find him?
– Cell block 6.
– No, not in is own waters.
– Try when he’s at this “We are all angels” religious assembly, every friday.
[Friday, “We are all angels” assembly]
– Hello all of you my fellow people. I am reverend Michael and i welcome you all those who have found God at last. We have new guys here, you sir, what’s your name?
Yes, he looked at me and also Steve was there, he was also looking at me. ME and religious assemblies, i knew things will go up in the air.
– My name is Mark.
– Good day Mark, when did you find God my son?
– I didn’t find it reverend, he was there all this time, he always pick me up where he left me.
Reverend was looking at me in shock.
– I beg your pardon ?!
– Sorry reverend, never mind, please go on with your thing.
Steve was looking at me all this time listening with interest.
– No, no, no my son, do you mock God ?
– No sir, and even if i did, God wouldn’t mind that?
– Why do you think so my son?
– Because God have the greatest sense of humor, he likes that but somehow we’ve been thought this is in no way part of the divine.
– Do you think that mocking and laughing the divine should be alright for a clean soul?
– No reverend, i think the church is missing the point of what should teach us, it is on the wrong track and they will fail big time with people.
– Explain this my son.
He was getting nervous. I was getting nervous too, i always do in those circumstances. I forgot for what i came here, it was personal now.
– I will explain. The church is doing all this thing it’s doing for thousand of years and it was more than necessary because people lived in chaos and didn’t follow any rules, the church settle things down, it was good. But free thinkers emerged that questioned the ways of the church and started to see that there are other things of equal benefit that religion, like all the nature give us to heal the body, the spirit. What happened to those free thinkers, they burned alive. Time passed, and these days, people are not very sure that only praying is enough. The world have seen so much suffering, for thousand of years and the message of the church was the same. People changed the way they see the world, i can’t stop it, the church can’t stop it, it’s just the way it is. They went away because the things are getting worst for everybody and they started to realize that something needs to be changed.
– Like what?!
– I don’t know, but we all will figure it out, that’s the beauty of being human and when we all will see that, things will turn out for the best.
– No! People don’t came to church anymore because they forgot God.
– No! They don’t come to church because of the opposite, they started to remember the true God.
– You think you know it all boy ?!?! Look at this poor souls in this prison. What can you all people do to help them ?!
I didn’t wanted the discussion to blow off.
– Not to judge them … and learn from an early age to look out for each other. If we know the one sin our life that only want the best for us … there will be less suffering, and no more prisons.
Total silence …
– I’m sorry …
I went straight to my cell with my mind a mess, i couldn’t think straight, i crashed in my bad. I slept great for the first time being in prison. I woke up in the morning, “the surgeon” was beside me.
– Mornin’ man … i heard you put on quite a show yesterday with the good old reverend.
– I had nothing personal with the guy, he’s just an employee. And about Steve … i didn’t do much.
The surgeon smiled at me.
– Forget about it … maybe you already did something.
– Why are you helping me “surgeon” ?
– I am a man of few words … I was a doctor back in real world … I’m in here for 1st degree murder, done 20 years, 30 to go … guess i won’t come out of here alive. I was helped by this guy, also locked up for murder, he said it was innocent and i’m pretty sure he was, he died in prison and he spent almost his entire life in prison. You won’t be here for long but i felt i should help … you see, life just goes round and round. One small mistake can turn your world upside down … the question is if next time you will do the same.
He gathered his strength and continued.
– My sister had always bad time with men, one day she was pregnant with this guy, he left her, she found another, but the guy was a jerk, an alcoholic, scum of the earth. They had this wonderful little girl that i loved and i will love until the day i will die and beyond. She grew around fights, screaming and beatings, my family had this shitty outline not to intervene, a stupid thing, a very stupid thing. Things got worst and worst, and one day, my niece came to me crying … the cock sucker was abusing her. My life was upside down, i cracked. I had this tiny backup clandestine medical center in the basement of a cottage in the mountains, for taking care of wounds of not very nice people, you know, i was young and you can’t forget childhood friends.
– That’s why you have so many friends in here ready to do what ever it takes to save you.
– Yeah … so i kidnapped the fucker, put him to sleep cut his dick off, you know, just like in the movies.
I must admit i was in shock but i listened to him, he was not enjoying telling me this and i could tell he was in pain.
– He woke up, he was shocked, he just couldn’t believe what happened to him but he didn’t repent his sins, no, no, no, he was a macho the fucking asshole and started to shout at me explaining in detail what he should have done with “the little bitch”. I snapped again, put him to sleep, cut all his limbs, he woke up, i played the tape … he was not very thrilled … he died. I went straight to the police, i was all over the news, i am here now … justice was made.
I was shocked, shivers went down my spine, my head started to hurt, my soul was in pain.
– Justice …
– Look around you Mark, look around all the guys in this prison, who knows how much they suffered and what’s in their souls, what made them what they are, maybe they’ve done all they’ve done because of fear, maybe some are innocent and all we do is judge them. Maybe we should judge ourselves because we let that happen … who’s preventing this, the education system, the police, God?! God loves us all but he just can’t do all by himself, he needs some help from us.
– Yes … maybe we are all angels …