“Well he might just ask to hang out with you and it‘d be in your best interest to say yes.”
That is what Carol told me in the kitchen a couple nights ago and it has been bugging me ever since. In my “best interest?” What does that even mean? I think even more that Carol knows something and isn’t telling me, but I know that I’ll never get it out of her. I know that she and Cal talked about Michael that night (and I’m even more convinced he likes her!) but the fact she said this too makes me think that isn’t the full extent of their conversation.
What could he have told her? Did he say he wants to hang out with me? That would be a first. Every time I’ve asked him to do something, he’s had some excuse to not do it. I wonder why he had a change of heart. Or maybe he always did have something going on and I just have really bad timing? I don’t know but I’m just happy we are finally going to spend some time together. I want so badly to get closer to him.
This is what over thinking does to me. I first woke up at 8:30 naturally, and normally I’m able to go straight to sleep again but this is really nagging at me. After hearing what Carol told me, I expected Calum to ask me to do something the next day. Yet he has been acting the same as he did before he left for the AMAs, except now he has at least been saying hi, good morning, goodnight, etc. Still, he hasn’t really been around the house the last two days. He’s been in his room doing who knows what. …Do I smell sausage?...
Suddenly, my phone alarm goes off. I don’t remember turning it on last night. It’s 8:45. I go to turn it off when I see the name of the alarm. “Surprise!” Well I was hoping to sleep in since I don’t have school today, but it looks like I’m up for the day already. Who set my alarm? I stretch myself out and ever so slowly sit up in bed, really wishing I wasn’t awake right now. Eventually I get out of my bed to go downstairs and eat, but when I get to my door I see a little note taped by the knob. Curious. I carefully peel it off and as I examine the writing I see it’s Cal’s. The note says,
“Good morning beautiful :)
Bet you’re hungry right?
Go to the kitchen and you’ll
find a little something special.”
Okay this is unexpected. It must have been him who set my alarm. But why? Very confused, I open my door and make my way downstairs to the kitchen, expecting to find Calum in there making something. As I near it, the smell of sausage gets stronger. I peek in the entry but no one is in there. Kind of disappointed I walk in, but on the island there is a still-steaming plate with chocolate chip pancakes, hash browns with a little dollop of ketchup in the middle, and sausage links, complete with silverware and a glass of orange juice.
Did Calum make me breakfast? I didn’t know he could cook. But this was obviously just made and he is nowhere in sight. I pick up my knife and fork about to dig in when I notice the piece of paper that was underneath them. Another note. What could this one say? It reads,
“Surprise! Your favorite
breakfast right down to
the ketchup. ;) When
you’re done head back to
your room and get dressed.”
Okay this is really sweet but also really strange. He got my favorite breakfast perfectly. He knew I love chocolate chip pancakes, he knew I hate sausage patties, and knew how I put a little ketchup on my hash browns, right in the middle so I can evenly mix it. I didn’t think he was that observant. I don’t question anymore and just enjoy my meal. Everything is cooked just how I like it and it’s hard to believe that Calum made it. I finish it pretty quickly, partly because it was so good and partly because I’m anxious to see if there is another note waiting for me upstairs.
Since he told me to get dressed, I can only assume that today is finally the day. I’m really happy but still, he could’ve just asked me on any day if I was able to do something with him. He didn’t have to leave me notes and go out of his way to cook for me. I wonder why he’s doing all this. I put my dishes in the sink and practically run back upstairs to go in my closet and pick out an outfit. Just like my bedroom door, there is a note by the closet opening. It says,
“Pick out whatever you
want. You look good in
Aw! I know that note is for today, but it couldn’t hurt for me to just leave it on my closet door as a reminder every day. It’ll probably help boost my confidence. I smile and open the door to look through everything and see what would best suit a day out, not knowing where we’re going. I decide on a pair of skinny jeans, a band tee, my black boots, and matching leather jacket. I throw my hair up in a ponytail with my bangs down, thankful I showered and straightened my hair last night, and go to the bathroom to wash up.
Next decision is makeup or no. I don’t have to, it’s just Calum. But fans and/or paps will most likely spot us and if pictures are going to be snapped, I need to look decent. Makeup it is. I open my makeup box and find a big piece of paper covering everything up. In all capital letters it says,
“ALL DONE! You look perfect.
Come on down to the garage. I’ll meet you there.”
Of course he’ll tell me to not wear any. I guess that’s it! I do a quick mirror check, spray on a little perfume and put on a little lip gloss, and grab my wallet and my phone off the charger before I head down to see what Calum has planned. And why we had to go so early when today was supposed to be my sleep day! …But I’m not complaining. I open the garage door to find Calum standing next to the car with his hands in his pockets, and it almost startles me how much we look alike right now.
He is wearing black skinny jeans, black shoes, and his leather jacket. I’m willing to bet there is a band tee under it. He smiles when he sees me and says, “Hey, beautiful. Ready to go?”
I walk to him saying, “Yep! This was definitely a surprise.” referring to his name for my alarm. We get in the car and he turns it on.
“That was the point. I hope you liked your breakfast. I tried to make it how you usually do.” He puts the car in reverse and starts backing out.
“It was delicious! I didn’t know you could cook like that. Please make my breakfast more often.” He chuckles and stops, putting the car into drive and starting down the road. “And I mean, not that I didn’t love that and the notes you left me, but …why did you do all that? You didn’t have to, you know. I would’ve just as easily hung out if you just came and asked me when I got up today. Or any day really.” I end with a laugh. Really though, Ashton hasn’t even done anything cute like this for me and we’ve had flirtations going for a while now.
He’s silent for a minute like he’s thinking about how to answer. He then says, “I know I could’ve done that. But this way was more fun, don’t you think?” He smiles and takes a quick look at me before looking back to the road. “Besides it’s kind of my way of apologizing for the last week or so. I know I’ve been kind of distant. Just have a lot on my mind.”
“Yeah I know what that’s like. You don’t need to apologize for that, Cal. We all have those times where we just need our space. …But I will ask why we are leaving so early when you know this is one of my sleep-till-noon days.” I add with a playful glare.
“Ha sorry, Ang. But I figured I should get you before everybody was awake and plans were made for the day.” he explains. Yeah chances are if I got up at noon like everyone else, Ashton would have stolen me to do something or other, out or at the house.
“That is very true. Well I’m glad you and I are finally spending some time together. I feel like we have never really talked much. And we’ve never hung out without everyone else there too. Honestly, I feel bad about it.” I admit.
“Ah don’t. It’s not your fault. It’s not like you haven’t tried to make plans. I just…have somehow always had something going on or to get done.” he says keeping his eyes straight ahead.
“Well this time is different. So let’s enjoy it.” I look at him and smile, and since we’re at a stoplight he looks over and we share smiles for a second or two before he looks back, still smiling. “So where are we going?” I ask, having wanted to ask that question since before we left.
“To the movies first. Can you guess which one we’re seeing?” he asks. I don’t even have to think about it.
“Mockingjay Part 2!! Yes!” I have been talking about that movie since part one came out. He laughs, clearly amused by my excitement.
“You got it. We’re going to the first showing of the day, 10:00.” Cal informs me. Now I get more and more excited the closer we get to the theater. I check my phone and it’s 9:20. We’ll definitely make it for the previews. We’re only a few minutes from the theater now.
In no time we arrive and park. We go inside and get to the counter when Cal says, “Two for The Hunger Games, please.” I start to get money out when he stops me. “Don’t worry, I got it.”
“No it’s okay, I have money.” I assure him, pulling it out of my wallet.
“No, really. I’ll take care of it. My treat.” he urges handing the cashier his money. This isn’t gonna happen every time we hang out, is it? It’s nice of him and I know he has plenty but I like to pay for myself when I can. We are handed the tickets and go past the usher to get snacks.
“Okay since you got the tickets, I’m covering the snacks.” I say heading to the counter.
“Oh no you don’t. Don’t worry about anything today. I’ll get it. Today is my treat.” he says stepping slightly in front of me.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“Positive. Now what do you want to get?” Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Calum like this. Then again, we haven’t hung out like this. We get a large popcorn to share, I get an Icee (mixed with both flavors), and Cal gets a soda. We then go to the theater and get comfy in our seats just in time for the previews. He turns to me, “Ready?”
“So ready.” I answer. The room goes dark and the previews begin.
The movie was amazing, as we thought it would be. Our popcorn was gone a quarter of the way through, and we paced ourselves on our drinks so that we wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom during it. It may have just been a movie where Cal and I didn’t have to talk to each other, but I still think that seeing the movie with him somehow made it more enjoyable. Just occasionally looking over and seeing him staring intently at the action or jumping when something big happened made it more fun. After it ended, we decided we were still hungry and seeing as it was after noon, we were due for some lunch.
It’s now 1:00 and we’re at a lesser known restaurant, figuring it will be less likely that people will recognize Calum. It’s set up buffet style so we can get pretty much anything. We are both on our second plate now and so far we haven’t had any encounters. I’m hoping it stays that way but I’m pretty sure there’s a group of girls sitting at a table across the room that keep looking over at us and giggling.
“How much you wanna bet that those girls will come over here when we leave?” I ask Cal leaning across our table.
He sneaks a glance at them and answers, “Nah, they’ll probably just wave and say hi on their way out.” he says.
“What? You can’t be serious. You’re the Calum Hood from 5 Seconds of Summer. They are going to approach you for sure. They look far too anxious over there.” I say laughing.
“We’ll see.” he says before going back to eating.
I go back to eating too and I can’t help but think about what my original purpose for being with Calum alone was. I want to get closer. But so far our conversations haven’t been anything I don’t talk about with the others. Just general happenings, family, and the upcoming tour. I need something to talk to him about that’s more personal but I don’t wanna pry. Maybe this is something I won’t be able to force.
As expected, the group of giggling girls comes to our table a few minutes later saying hi to Cal and asking for autographs. He actually seemed surprised that they did, and that threw me off. He signs everything they want him to, then one girl says, “I saw you guys at your concert last summer and you were so awesome. You’re really good at the bass.” Another chimes in saying his singing is beautiful, and another comments on how cute he looks today. And then the most beautiful thing I have ever seen appears in front of my eyes.
I’ve seen Calum smile before, many times. But the smile that came across his face just now, is the biggest and most genuine one I have seen yet. Plus his dimples were the most prominent I’ve ever seen them. Even I have to admit, he looks adorable right now. I think I even see him turning a little red. Does he seriously not get this stuff a lot? He should be used to it by now. The girls say bye to him and go back to their table, not giving me any kind of acknowledgement. But I expected that.
He looks up at me as he picks up some food with his fork and says, “Sorry about that. Usually that doesn’t happen.”
“Don’t be sorry. That was the cutest smile I’ve ever seen. …But really, are you telling me that fans don’t typically come up to you in public?” I ask disbelieving. If I’m not mistaken, I see him start to blush.
He finishes chewing and answers, “Every once in a while. But most of the time, fans don’t come up and talk to me if I’m alone. They will if one or more of the guys are with me, but even then they go to the other guys first.” I don’t know what hurts worse. What he just told me, or that he said it as if it’s something he’s accustomed to, that’s no big deal.
“Calum, I’m so sorry.” That’s all I can say, I feel so bad that this is his life in the band.
He shakes his head. “No, it’s fine. I’m…I’m used to it.” He takes another bite.
“Well you shouldn’t be. …Are you sure you’re fine?” I ask. As he chews, I slowly see his facial expression change from normal to solemn. “Calum, you can tell me. You don’t have to put up a front. I want to help you.”
He carefully puts his fork down and swallows, then sighs before saying, “Angela, there’s a reason why I wanted to sing Invisible so badly on the album. Out of all of us, I’m the one who relates to it the most. …Obviously I don’t want to be the one the fans go to last. The one they go to just because I’m there too with whichever of the other guys is their favorite. But the sad truth is that the majority of the time, that’s the way it is. I constantly feel pushed to the side and unnoticed. But no one knows because I don’t let it show.”
This is what I was looking for. He finally opened up to me. “Cal, I know that you feel that way. In fact I’m pretty sure the whole 5SOS Fam knows. I just can’t believe you are still feeling this way. …Can I confess something?” I ask.
“Really?...Of course.” he says.
“You know why I kept on trying to make plans to spend time with you?” He shakes his head. “Because I knew what you just told me. At least your feeling of invisibility itself. I just didn’t know the details. …I really want to hang out with you because I want to remind you that you aren’t completely in the shadows. You aren’t invisible to me. I see you, Cal. I always have. …It’s just that you haven’t been able to hang out with me until today.” If I’m not mistaken, a look of guilt seems to appear on his face, although I don’t know why.
“Can I confess something?” he asks. I nod encouragingly. “It isn’t that I haven’t been able to. …It’s that I felt like I shouldn’t.”
“What? Why?” I ask now extremely confused.
“Well…I don’t know. I mean…I guess I don’t really have an excuse. But I won’t make excuses anymore. Whenever you wanna do something, I’m game.” It still seems like he’s hiding something else from me, but I’ve already pried enough for one day. I’ll bug him about this another time.
“Great, I’m glad. Today has been really fun. We definitely need to hang out more.” I say with a smile.
“For sure. It’s been awesome so far. But you know the day isn’t over yet. We could go somewhere else if you want.” he says returning my smile. I wasn’t sure going into the day if I was going to want to be with him this long, but things are going even better than I thought they would.
“I’d love to. Where to next, sir?” I ask.
After Calum paid our lunch bill, we left the restaurant and made our way to Millennium Park. We walked the length of it, stopping at the bean to take a picture of our reflection. We also walked up and down Michigan Avenue a few times. While walking, we talked about all kinds of things. Basically everything under the sun about our interests, likes, and dislikes. Even what we want for our futures. We also reminisced about TV shows and movies we watched when we were younger. We walked and talked for hours.
The more time I spent with him, the closer to him I felt. I can’t imagine how close we’ll be when we hang out after today. We may even get to the level of friendship Mike and I have. It’s now nearing 6:00 and we’re in the car on our zigzag way back to the house so we aren’t followed. I realize after a few minutes that I haven’t looked at my phone since before the movies so I take it out to check my messages. Surprisingly, only three; one from Carol and two from Ash.
Carol’s says, “You don’t know how hard it was to keep this from you yesterday. Have fun, brat! ;)” sent at 12:15. Oh of course she knew about it. Why doesn’t that surprise me?
Ashton’s first one was sent at noon. “Hey munchkin…where are you?” The second one was sent about five minutes later. “Never mind, Carol told me. Hope you and Cal have fun. I’ll miss you. x” Just reading that makes me feel butterflies. Sometimes I can’t believe the effect that boy has on me. I can’t help but smile at my screen.
“Ashton texting you?” I hear Calum ask next to me.
“Not now, earlier. How did you know?” I question looking at him.
“You always smile like that when you talk to him.” he says as if it’s obvious. Slightly embarrassed, I put my phone back in my jacket pocket.
“Oh… I didn’t realize. Well anyway, thanks for an amazing day, Calum. It was a lot of fun. And I got to know a lot more about you.” I say feeling very accomplished. I may not know why he felt like he shouldn’t spend time alone with me, or what his catch 22 is, but I found out a bunch of other stuff and definitely feel much closer to him. That deeper stuff can be for when we’ve hung out more.
“Yeah I feel like I learned everything about you today. Thank you for sharing all of that with me.” Well, almost everything. He’ll find out about my family in time. All the guys will.
“Thank you for sharing a lot with me. Who would’ve guessed that one of your favorite movies is also one of my sister’s?” I say with a chuckle.
“Hey, Anchorman is hilarious. Your sister has good movie taste. You should really watch it.” he says turning and pulling into the driveway.
“Ha okay how about we watch it together when I do?” I suggest as the garage door goes up.
“Deal.” he agrees. He brings the car into the garage and turns it off. We get out of the car and that’s the first time I notice one of the cars is gone. The question is, who is gone? We go out of the garage and Cal punches in the code to put the door down. As he puts his key in the front door and opens it, we take off our coats and shoes while listening for noise, but we don’t hear anything.
I put my coat on the rack and peek in the living room and Cal does the same, peeking in the kitchen and no one is in sight. “Well whoever is here isn’t down here.” I say turning to Cal who’s standing in the kitchen archway.
“Good news is there are leftovers from dinner still out.” he says motioning me over. As soon as I’m in the room, I smell the spaghetti. There’s spaghetti, parmesan cheese, and garlic bread sitting on the counter and my mouth is watering just looking at it.
“Wanna bring this into the living room and watch some TV?” I propose. Cal turns to me with the most surprised look on his face.
“What! You will allow messy spaghetti to be eaten outside of the kitchen?!” he asks overdramatic.
“Ha ha ha, so funny, Calum. I know I like things clean but you can eat in the living room. I do all the time.” I defend while I make my plate. The food is still warm so it must have been made not too long ago.
“Yeah I know I’m teasing.” he says smirking, nudging me with his arm while he spoons out his spaghetti. I stick out my tongue and grab a water bottle before going to the living room. I set my stuff on the coffee table and turn on the TV, plopping down on the couch. Less than a minute later, I feel a plop right next to me as I’m looking through the guide. “Anything good on?” Cal asks.
I’m skimming through the channels when something catches my eye. “Oh look, it’s someone’s childhood favorite.” I say highlighting Monsters Inc. on the screen.
“Oh my god. …Would you think I’m totally crazy if I wanted to watch it?” he asks.
“Ha! Actually, no. …Truth be told, I watch it sometimes.” I admit.
“Well it’s decided.” he smiles. I go to the channel and set down the remote so I can pick up my plate and dig into my dinner. It’s so good, both of us finish in under five minutes. I quickly put our dishes in the sink and sit back on the couch so I don’t miss a lot of the movie.
A few minutes pass by, and I remember that no one else has made an appearance still since we’ve been back. I think about texting Carol so I can get back in the loop of what everyone’s up to, but I’m a little too comfortable at the moment. We aren’t cuddling, we’re just sitting next to each other, but I can’t ignore the fact that Calum’s arm is behind me on the back of the couch, our legs are touching, my head is on his left shoulder, and it doesn’t feel weird. It’s relaxing and I feel like I could stay in this position forever.
Suddenly, I hear someone coming down the stairs and then hear a voice in the entry. “Hey.” I turn without lifting my head and see it’s Ashton, and some sort of reflex in me makes me quickly take my head off of Cal’s shoulder and move slightly away from him, like I was doing something wrong.
“Hey, Ash.” Cal and I say in unison. Calum looks at me confused and turns back to Ash.
“So uh…When did you guys get back? I didn’t hear you.” Ashton says.
“Maybe twenty or so minutes ago. Where’s everyone else?” I ask.
“Luke and Michael wanted deep dish so they went to Pizzeria Uno. Carol’s in her room. Did you guys eat? Carol made dinner a while ago.” he says gesturing to the kitchen.
“Yeah just finished a few minutes ago.” Cal pipes up. Ashton nods and looks around the room once as if waiting for something.
“I’ll come see you after this movie is over if you want. I know I haven’t seen you all day.” I say assuming that’s what he was wanting from me. I mean I did leave him alone with Carol and Michael, and Luke. I hope he wasn’t too bored out of his mind.
“Okay cool. If you’re done with the food, I’ll put it away before I head back up.” he offers. I look at Cal and he nods in response.
“Yeah we’re done. Thanks, Ash.” I say.
“No problem. See you in a bit, munchkin.” he says with a half smile before going into the kitchen. Damn it. How is he making me feel guilty about spending the day with Cal when he hasn’t even said anything to provoke me?
I know Ashton is in another room, but part of me doesn’t feel comfortable putting my head back on Cal. I feel like Ash might glance in here and see and somehow get jealous. I decide to refrain from doing this until he goes back upstairs. A little bit later, I see him come out of the kitchen out of the corner of my eye and see him take a look in the living room before going upstairs.
Feeling in the clear, I resume my comfortable position and breathe out a sigh of relaxation. “Heh comfy?” Cal asks in a somewhat tired, deeper voice looking down at me. I can tell because his voice is really close to my face.
“Very much. Especially after the long day of walking we did.” I answer looking up at him afterward. When I do, I’m slightly taken by surprise to see that Cal’s face is inches from mine; he was still looking down at me. It lasts one, maybe two seconds at the most, but we smile at each other and it’s during these two seconds that Carol decides to show herself.
“Hey there! Did you guys have fun today?” she asks. Cal and I both jump scared by her sudden talking, and look towards the entry.
“Yeah lots of fun. It was a good day.” I say.
“Good.” she comments. She then looks at Calum smirking. …Yeah there’s something I’m missing. “Alright well I’m getting a snack and going back to my room. Talk later?” she directs to me. In other words she’s saying, “You better come to my room before we go to bed and tell me everything.”
“Sure thing, boo.” I reply. She smiles and goes into the kitchen and we turn back to the TV. Only a minute later, we hear her going back upstairs. Thankfully for the rest of the movie, there are no more interruptions. Luke and Michael must be fighting over their pizza again and that’s what’s delaying them.
For the remainder, Cal and I are in our same position, only I find that by the time the movie is half over, Calum’s arm has moved from on the couch behind me, to actually around me. Again, I strangely don’t mind. It kind of gives me a secure feeling more than anything. The movie ends and I finally remove my head from Calum to stretch my body out and prepare to leave the couch.
“Alright, it has been a long day and I am officially exhausted. You?” I ask him.
“Totally. It’s time for sleeping. Thanks again for such a great day, Angela. I hope we can have another day like this soon.” he says.
“Me too. Goodnight, Calum. See you tomorrow.” I say heading for the kitchen.
“Wait. Where are you going?” he asks confused following me to the entry.
“I’m gonna get another water before I go up.” I explain.
“Oh. Well before I head there myself,” he starts. He then comes to me and opens his arms coming in for a hug. He gives me a firm squeeze saying, “Thanks for making me feel a little less invisible.” My heart!
“Any time, Cal.” We linger for another few seconds and let go.
“Goodnight, Ang. See you tomorrow.” he says with a smile turning to go to the stairs.
“Goodnight, Cal.” I say again, smiling back. He disappears and I hear his footsteps getting further away until I hear a door close. With that, I race like lightning to get water and try to quietly run up the stairs to change into pajamas and go to Carol’s room. I change as quickly as I can and slide down the hall in my socks to her room not bothering to knock.
“Finally! I thought you’d never come up. Tell me everything! What did you do? What happened? How did it go?” she says rapidly.
“Okay, okay. Slow down, boo!” I laugh sitting in front of her on the bed. “Honestly it was more than I expected it to be. I mean he paid for everything we did, and I saw a side of him that I had never seen until today. He was sweet, sensitive, caring…I don’t know I’m just really happy with how things went. I wanted to get closer to him and I definitely did that. …We may already have the friendship Mike and I have.” I admit.
“Wow, all that huh? Well I’m glad. So uh…you guys didn’t talk about anything like…oh I don’t know…his catch 22 maybe?” she asks. I tell her no and that it wasn’t the right time. I also tell her about everything we did and everything we talked about, right down toMonsters Inc. downstairs. It may just be me, but she seems pretty happy that I had such a good time with him. “Soooo are you guys gonna hang out again soon?” she asks.
“We’re gonna try to, yeah. Hopefully we can work out a time with our schedules. And also a time when Ashton isn’t trying to do something with me. …So we’ll see what happens.” I answer unsure.
“I swear that boy needs to either admit his feelings or back off. He’s always wanting you to himself. I mean there are other people in this house too that wanna, you know, see you sometimes.” she says sounding a little bitter.
“Ha you okay there, Carol?” I ask.
“Yeah…Just saying maybe I wanna hang out with you sometimes. And Michael. And now we know Calum wants to. …It’d just be nice if he shared.” she says defensively.
“…’kay. …Well it’s been a really long day so uh…I’m going to bed. Goodnight, boo.” I say getting up from her bed.
“Okay, goodnight brat. Love you.” she says.
“Love you too. See you tomorrow.” I say opening the door. I softly close it and am about to head to my room to go to sleep, but remember I told Ashton I would come be with him for a bit. I never thought I would say this, but as I’m making the walk to Ash’s room, I’m kind of wishing I was going to Calum’s instead.