Today is the day of the American Music Awards, and 5SOS aren’t nominated for anything but are scheduled to open the show performing Hey Everybody. The guys left yesterday for LA to do soundcheck at the venue and figure out what they’re wearing on the red carpet. Needless to say none of the guys woke up very happy. Having drunk a lot the night before for Michael’s birthday, they didn’t feel so great.
It kind of slipped all of our minds that they would have to get up early the next morning, otherwise I would have said something. But in reality, they all still would have drunk a lot and still regretted it the next day like they did. Regardless, we all said goodbye and when they walked out the door, it immediately felt weird. They hadn’t even been home for a month yet and they left again. Sure, they would be back tomorrow, but it’s the first time Carol and I have been all alone in the house since they got back. It is unnaturally quiet. I don’t know how to feel about it.
But that isn’t the only thing weird that’s going on. Yesterday when we were saying our goodbyes, Ashton, Michael, and Luke said bye like normal, but Calum just kind of said bye and was the first one out the door. He didn’t hug me or Carol. It isn’t like him and I noticed Friday night after he and Carol came in from outside, probably smoking, he didn’t seem the same. He wasn’t as cheery or into our jam session as he was when it started. Maybe Carol knows something I don’t?
The microwave dings interrupting my thinking and I open the door taking out our popcorn. Carol and I are gonna watch the AMA’s in our onesies, (Carol only for the guys and me for the guys and also One Direction), and we wanted a snack. I pour it into a bowl and take it to the living room, along with a bottle of wine. I’m only having a few glasses and I’m making sure Carol doesn’t have too much either. I need her coherent if I’m gonna ask her about Cal.
I sit on the couch with my feet on the ottoman and as soon as I situate myself, Carol props herself on the arm of the couch and lays across, putting her feet in my lap. “Really?” I comment looking over at her with my eyebrow raised.
“What? It’s comfortable.” she says not looking at me.
“Carol, see where my feet are? There’s a perfectly good ottoman right there. Use it.” I insist, setting the wine bottle down on the floor and eating some popcorn.
“I don’t care, this is better. Hand me the popcorn, would you?” she asks, again not looking and extending her arm towards me. I chuckle at her and put the bowl in her hand. “Thanks, brat.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I look at the clock and it’s 6:59. The show will start any time now. I can’t wait to see our boys appear on our TV screen. It’s only been a couple of days but I’ve missed seeing their faces in real time. I know Carol has too. All we’ve done since they left is talk about it.
Suddenly, we see Jennifer Lopez on screen singing. “Should’ve figured she would literally open the show seeing as she’s the host. They must be the first performance once the show actually kicks off.” I say.
“Yeah…Pour me a glass. I’m not watching this.” Carol says turning away from the TV for the first time since sitting down. I gladly pour her and myself a glass of wine and put the TV on mute. “What do you think the guys think of this?” she asks.
I look back at J-Lo shaking her butt and lots of girl dancers moving provocatively and answer, “Oh they’re probably loving the view. I don’t think they’re missing us at all at the moment.” I say reluctantly. After all, Bryana is a model and probably has a body just like those dancers. If anything, Ashton’s missing her right now, not me.
“You’re probably right. But maybe when they’re performing they’ll think of us again.” she says. I would sure hope so. We told them we would be cheering them on from the house and singing along.
The song finally ends and we unmute the TV. One award is given and then it goes to commercial already. Of course they are gonna make us wait. “Ugh I’m going to the bathroom.”Carol says frustrated getting up. I laugh as I watch her shuffle across the room.
When she gets back there are a few more commercials before it comes back on. J-Lo does a bunch of talking about the night and then finally 5SOS are introduced. “This is it!!” I exclaim shoving Carol’s legs off me and sitting on the edge of the couch leaning forward.
“Oh my god Angela! Calm down!” Carol says between laughs.
“You calm down! It’s our boys!” I shout. She laughs again joining me on the couch’s edge leaning towards the TV in excitement. The song starts and we stare at the screen. They are playing the American Music Awards. A song off their second album. It really is unbelievable how far they’ve come in almost four years. Ashton appears and I can’t help but shout, “Baby!!”
Once Michael is shown, Carol exclaims, “Mickey!! Oh god he is so hot!” I laugh at her fangirling. It’s strange to think that we used to fangirl over them and have them unaware of who we are, and now they’re our friends who we live with. “You know, they show Luke too much when they perform on camera. …But is it just me or does he look especially good tonight?” she asks.
“Yeah…I think Calum does too.” I comment as he pops up and I find myself smiling as I sing along to him singing. “I mean…they all look on point tonight.” I add.
“Yeah they do.” Carol quickly agrees. We spend the rest of the song singing with them and when it ends, we cheer for them as if they can hear. “Okay I’ve seen what I wanna see. Another glass of wine and it’s up to my room.” Then I guess that means before she downs that glass, I need to bring up Friday night.
“Ha okay. But um…can I ask you something?” I say turning to face her on the couch.
“Uh oh…where’s this going, brat?” she asks turning to me.
I laugh, “I just have a question about Friday.” Looking intrigued now, she mutes the TV again. “…What’s going on with Cal? When you guys came in from the front porch, he seemed different. I don’t know if I was just imagining things or what. But I feel like he was in a mood and I don’t know why. …Did he tell you anything?”
“It took me a bit but I did get something out of him. He didn’t tell me much, but he did say that he has a ‘catch 22.’” Carol answers. I knew it. Something was bugging him. But why did this not appear until Friday night?
“Aw…of course he used an expression from their album. Did he say what it was?” I ask.
“No and I didn’t wanna ask. I’m surprised he shared that much with me. He seemed pretty pissed.” she says. I wonder how long he has had this catch 22. Whatever it is.
“Damn. I hope he feels better soon. I hate knowing he’s upset. When the guys are hurting, so am I.” I say wondering what is really going through Calum’s mind right now.
“Same. …Don’t worry it’s probably just a funk. I’ll just give him a little advice and he’ll be back to normal.” she polishes off her wine and stands. “Now I think I’m gonna fill this up once more and head upstairs.” Of course she’s having another. Doesn’t surprise me in the least. I shake my head as she pours to the brim.
“Have fun.” I joke. I pick up the bottle which is now a little more than halfway gone already. “Boo, look at what you did!” She looks at the bottle and laughs walking to the archway.
“Not sorry. Goodnight, brat.” she turns standing in the archway.
“I know. Goodnight, boo. Love you.” I say raising my newly refilled glass.
“Love you too.” she responds raising hers too. We then both take a big drink and laugh before she goes upstairs. Part of me wishes I could go to sleep too but that would not be possible. For one, I wanna see One Direction perform and see what awards they win. But also, I can’t stop thinking about Calum and what kind of mental state he’s really in.
As I continue watching the AMA’s and sipping on wine, I get a text. I reach for my phone and see it’s Ashton. He sent, “Hey munchkin :) x Did you like our performance?” I smile like an idiot at how even after seeing those flawless dancers earlier and being at the freaking AMA’s, he bothered to think of me. Guess I don’t have to worry about Bryana anymore.
I’m typing out my reply, when I get another message. “I miss you :(…” Damn he makes this really hard. I say that I loved their performance as always and that I miss him too. Then I get a text from someone else. I go to my inbox and see it was Michael. Wow, him too? How lucky are we?
He said, “How are you two doing over there? Not too bombed, are you? xP” I immediately start laughing out loud and wonder if he sent this to Carol too. I’m answered a few seconds later when I hear Carol clear as day all the way from her room, giggling and squealing. Yes he did. Why is he such a goof?
I reply, “We’re fine. I’m not bombed in the slightest but I can’t speak for Carol. xD” It’s after I send the message that I notice Michael made this a group conversation. Not long after, I hear Carol shout “Hey!” and start laughing again. I then set my phone down thinking it may take Ash and Mike a while to respond again and go back to watching the TV.
I’m not expecting to get anything from Luke, but normally I would have at least gotten a “hi and hope you liked our performance” from Cal. I hate that whatever this catch 22 he has is slowly pushing him away from me. I mean we aren’t that close to begin with but I don’t want to lose his friendship completely. At this point, all I can do is put my faith in Carol that she will find out what’s going on and fix it.
I finish watching the AMA’s after One Direction’s performance and finding out they won Artist of the Year again, and put the wine and popcorn bowl in the kitchen. I go upstairs and get ready for bed, hoping this thing with Calum, combined with missing the guys, doesn’t threaten to keep me awake all night.