Sparks Ignited

When Angela and Carol first met they never anticipated meeting 5 Seconds of Summer, let alone living with them. Together the girls find friendship and romance under a roof of secrets. When friendships are tested and feelings exposed, can the girls remain friends through it all?

*co-authored with a user not on this site*

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38. Epilogue / Carol's POV / March 12th

 

In true Angela and Carol fashion we’re sitting in the brightly illuminated kitchen, working on a thousand piece puzzle. Sad to say this is one of our highlights for the weekend. We’re almost done after a week or so and might be able to pack it away today. We both sit side by side working on the orange skyline. Occasionally we’ll swap pieces in the hopes the other will have luck with it.

We’ve been quiet and focused as we work away, just listening to the radio and enjoying each other’s company. I suggested this puzzle a while ago in the hopes that it’ll keep our minds occupied, to prevent us from missing the boys so much. I absent-mindedly sing along softly to the song playing on the radio before I look over and see Angela’s face. She wears a sorrowful expression and stares intently at the puzzle. It’s not until I listen to the words that I realize it’s Stand By You by Rachel Platten. A song she always attributes to Calum.


“Are we going to pretend that the guys aren‘t on our minds?” I ask, putting a piece in place. Staring up at her I can see her inhale deeply before saying,

“Really when are they never on our minds?” looking up at me. I smile down at the puzzle over her sarcasm and wonder what the guys are doing. With their Asia leg of the tour over they have three weeks to rest.

“Right now it‘s just Calum though.” she continues.

“I figured as much. Are you any closer to figuring out if you want him or Ashton yet?” I ask, curious. She shakes her head in response.

“No. But missing him and wanting to hug him when I can‘t is not making it any easier.” she responds, sighing.


“I‘m sorry, brat.” I say with a frown. She shrugs when I look at her saying,

“I know, boo. I just wish it was a bit easier.” with the same devastated tone. The song changes and because it’s the commercial free hour, another starts almost immediately afterward. I recognize the beat almost instantly and my thoughts cloud to Mickey. He always was the unspoken mascot for Twenty One Pilots.


“They always play this one now, you notice?” I ask, knowing she’ll have paid enough attention too.

“What‘s that?” she asks, looking up from the puzzle. I tilt my head to radio and she picks up the chorus.

“Yeah, they do play this one a lot. Mike used to fan girl whenever it‘d come on, now it hardly phases him.” she replies, looking over at me. We chuckle softly before taking a drink from our waters.

“Things getting any better with the long distance?” she asks, hopeful. I think about our most recent conversation on the phone. Exhaling loudly I shake my head in response.


“Wish I could say it was. But every time I hear his voice I just wish he was here.” I say, sliding further in my seat. Angela gives me a sympathetic smile before I continue,

“It doesn‘t help that his calls are coming in less and less. I think we‘re down to once every day and it‘s always right when he crawls in bed. So I always get drunk Michael or sleepy Michael.” I say, exasperated.

“You guys text though, right?” she asks, genuinely curious. I nod in response saying,

“Yeah, but to have a decent conversation I have to reread our old messages from where he answers them so late. I‘m trying to have patience but it‘s driving me crazy.” I admit feeling guilty.


She reaches over to hug me and I lean toward her returning the gesture. If it wasn’t for her and the occasional phone call from Cal, I really would’ve gone mental by now. It’s still early afternoon so we walk away from the puzzle and conversation, to sit down to a meal. We’re standing at the counter making a stir fry when I remember her most recent visit to see Addi. Knowing Cal also likes updates on her I wonder if Angela sent him any pictures.


“How was the trip to see Addi? I know it seemed like you were happier when you got back, but it also seemed like you weren‘t mentioning something.” I say, looking over at her. As I cut up the boneless chicken breast and peel away the layer of skin, I watch as she starts the water for noodles and fries up the veggies.

“It really was fun. I feel like I‘m missing so much of her life sometimes by being so far away. Those thoughts stick out even more when I come home to an empty home, and am reminded that the guys won‘t be back for almost a year.” she admits, tossing the vegetables in the oil.

“I know. Believe me I know. There are days when I wish I was back home because at least then I wasn’t in an empty house. But really the only thing that makes it less empty is that there’s more people. It’s not because I had more people to talk to.” I reply, grabbing the skin and tossing it in the trash.

“I think it‘s safe to say a visit to the guys would be beneficial to all of us.” she says with a sigh. I nod in agreement and throw the pieces of chicken in the pan.


“But you were right before about my hiding something from you.” she continues. I look up at her expectantly as she stirs the contents around.

“While I was over there I sent some pictures and a video of Addi to Calum, I thought.” she says. I furrow my brows in confusion.

“What do you mean ‘you thought’? Didn‘t you?” I ask, confused. She shakes her head no and
replies,

“No, I sent them to Ashton. Who -now after seeing her in action- also wants to meet ‘the little cutie’ as he calls her. That only makes the decision to be with either of them, harder. It doesn‘t help that when I visited this last time, mom was there. And seeing her only makes me and everyone around us think of this ongoing divorce drama. All it makes me think of is how uncle Mark invited me out to Arizona, every time I hear his offer in my head it sounds better and better.” she confesses. I shake my head in response at a loss for words.

“I don‘t know what to say except that I‘m sorry.” I admit, staring at her.

“There‘s really nothing you can say. I just have to make a decision and hope that it‘s the right one.” she says with a slight frown.


We’re quiet for a moment as the kitchen fills with the sound of our food sizzling in the pan. It’s as though our thoughts are screaming from inside our heads. They’re the only thing I can hear and I know Angela must be hearing hers loud and clear as well. Her internal struggle being that she isn’t sure who she likes more, while mine is I can’t get over this long distance and Luke still not giving me any indication that he‘s ready to be friends. I miss my best friend and he’s still pissed at me.


“Are things with you and Luke any better?” she asks, looking over at me. I smile at first saying,

“Our telepathy is at it again.” teasingly. She gives a small laugh in response replying,

“When isn‘t it?” with a rhetorical tone. I sigh but answer,

“Not so hot. He still isn‘t talking to me.” admittedly. She shakes her head in response as she stirs around the contents again.


By now the water has come to a nice, slow boil so I add in the pasta. I hear her ask,

“I thought you said he texted you a while ago?” in confusion as I do so.

“He did and we talked on the phone for all of two minutes. Now we‘re back to not talking again.” I explain in a huff. Just remembering it is pissing me off. He’s acting so childish.


“What happened on the phone?” she asks, pausing her movements for a moment to give me her full attention. I sigh in frustration and turn to look at her again as I rest against the counter.

“He apologized for the way he left things. He knew that as soon as he left that he shouldn‘t have left the way he did. I accepted with open arms and said I was just glad to have my best friend back. But-” I stop. I remember his words and swallow the lump that threatens to form.

“But what?” she asks, stirring the food again.

“But then he said it would probably be better if we kept our distance for a while, because he still can‘t look at me the way I want him to.” I finish. As I stare at her I can’t help but watch the way her face shows multiple expressions. It makes me curious to what’s going on in her head.


“I‘m sorry, boo.” she finally says after a moment.

“I am too. Sometimes I wish I had said yes to him.” I admit.

“Because you actually have feelings for him, or because you‘d still have his friendship?” she inquires.

“Because I‘d have my best friend back.” I clarify, staring at her. As I stir around the noodles I continue,

“I‘m sure faking an attraction to him wouldn‘t be hard. I mean most relationships start off as just friends, right?” I ask, rhetorically.

“But either way I‘d lose because with him I wouldn‘t have Mickey and with Mickey, I lose him.” I state with a frown.


There’s another silence and it lasts long enough for me to strain the noodles, and add them to the veggie mix. Finally she speaks after I grab myself another water and asks,

“Have you ever considered, that maybe you should‘ve seen where things with Luke could‘ve gone?” I stare at her incredulously. My phone buzzes before I can respond and I quickly answer without looking,

“Hello?” I say. There’s muffled noise in the background of the other line. Wherever they are it’s really loud.


“Care bear? We have to talk.” I hear Mickey respond.

“Mickey? What‘s going on?” I ask, feeling my stomach drop. There’s a slur in his speech and a lot of muttering I can’t decipher. There’s a high probability that he’s drunk right now.

“What? Michael, talk to me.” I can see Angela’s confused face beside me as I have this one sided conversation.

“Fine. Are you, or have you and Luke ever been more than friends? Because right now, hearing it from the guys it sounds like you two were more.” he asks, clearly pissed but more hurt than anything. The lump rises in my throat and I all but fall to my knees.

“Mickey, Luke and I never-” I start with a quiver. I’m cut off by his raised voice on the other line,

“I can‘t believe you of all people!” before hanging up. The reality slowly settles and my world dims as the tears and I, fall.

“Boo? What happened?” Angela asks, kneeling down to comfort me.


Could I have really lost it all?

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