I lay in the bad wide awake, can't comprehend what just have happened.
Castiel vessel showing up cause Cas got dragged to heaven.
Demons trying to kill us all, not that’s new.
Castiel abandoning his boyfriend with hard words ,,I serve heaven, I don’t serve man. And I certainly don’t serve you” and just walk out like a fucking boss.
Who the hell even taught he had it in him.
But that’s not the worse taught running through my mind, no no no, the worst parts is the part seeing Sam hovering over that demon woman necks drinking her blood like she was a soda on a hot summer day. And that not even the worst of the worst.
No, that was Deans look on his face when he saw it.
And the speech he gave him after, that he tells him that he isn't mad, he's disappointed and his tired. He's done. That scares me, because what I know, those two have been through some bad shit together, and Dean throwing the towel is scary as fuck.
Then this Bobby guy I have heard so much about but never seen call us all to come there.
He looks like an old man with a heavy drinking problem, but I know the guys sees him like a father, and for what I gathered, he knows me so I just smiled and said hi.
Then I get told to stay up in the living room while they go down and look at the demon he should have captured down there.
And the next thing I know is that I hear Sam scream and Dean telling me it's for his own good.
And they locked him up.
Dean told me what happened and then send me to bed. And now I'm lying here thinking over what the hell I should do in all this. And then I decide that it is something I will have to think of later cause I really need the sleep if I should be any useful later.
,, you both know that we stand in shit to our necks right? You have literally a brother that drink demon blood, and you decide to lock him up down in your basement like some bad horror movie” I say looking at Dean that sits with a book in his hand and Bobby looking at me from the kitchen.
,, he's your brother too”
,, not by blood” I reply smiling at him before going back to the book I sit with. When I woke up and walked down to the living room it looked like they have been up all night reading. They probably have and I can't blame them. It was scary seeing Sam laying over that demon sucking her blood out from his neck. Look at us with his whole face covered in blood. I never once been afraid of the guys. Except right there.
But Sam isn't a bad person, and with all that has been going on in his life, isn't it really that surprising that he would become an addict. The only surprising thing is, it is demon blood and not alcohol or drugs. Bobby comes in put a cup of cacao in front of me.
,, gosh I must have been one hell of a pain in the ass when I was little and didn't get my cacao since you all keep giving me cacao” I mutters taking the cup, I hear Dean mumble you have no idea under his breath still have his eyes fixed on the book.
I take a sip cross my legs in the chair and try to concentrate on the old book I have in my lap, trying to find something that can help Sam. The one I sit with must be over hundreds of years old cause the ink is fading making it even harder to understand the old English.
,, bloody hell, I don’t understand shit”
,, at least you're not sitting with one of the ones on Latin ” he replies showing me a much older book that almost are breaking apart in his hands. That one thing that surprised me, they fucking know Latin, who in the modern world know Latin? I am dead sure if I even had tried speaking it I would summon some very pissed demon to the house.
I hear a scream from downstairs, try to block it out. But is clearly not the only one that is affected by it. ,, should I go down there with some food to him? Or find a sheep and drain it for blood?”
Dean send me a stern face telling me that if he finds me near the basement he will lock me to the bed. And I really have to bite my tongue not saying some snarky comments about him not letting his pervy kinks go out on me. ,, you two lovebirds should really not sit there making those faces to each other in front of me.” Bobby complaints slapping Dean in the back head when he walks by.
I do the much childish thing I know of and put my tongue out on Dean when Bobby stands with his bag to us. He sends a middle finger my way and I turn to Bobby with a childish voice.
,, Bobby! Dean being mean! He showed me his bad finger”
,, and you probably deserved it, I know what you doing, you used that trick on Sam all the time so Dean would yell at him” Bobby grunts sitting behind his desk taking a book up.
Well, I was one hell of a smart child.
We sit there awhile just reading trying to find something that can help Sam.
But even I can get tired of reading, and after a couple of hours I decide for all of us that Dean have to take me to the nearest store because I need something.
When we get there Deans frown is almost gone, and I'm glad I decided we needed the break.
I find what I need and walk over to the lady shelves to get the rest.
I hear Dean call my name and yell I'm over here.
When he realize where I am he almost run the other way, with a horrified face.
I just smile looking after the product I need,, why the scary face Dean? Don’t you know women's need this kind of thing?” I ask him tilting my head and look innocent at him.
He quickly mumble he need something and walk away.
When we stand at the cash his completely red in the face and don’t look the guy in the eyes when my stuff comes through. ,, you need to relax more Dean, what will you do if you get a girl instead of a boy? She will also need stuff to” I grin when we sit in the car on our way back to Bobby.
He glance at me before turning his attention back on the road.
,, I will never get kids, I have enough in you and Sam”
,, I want kids, not now. But I would love to get a little girl” I say imagine how I would take her to her first ballet class and her first love. I don’t know who it should be with, and I don’t really care.
Just as long he's not a douche bag. And that I also love him.
,, I could see you with a kid, somewhere. But please promise me that there is a long time before you decide to do such a thing”
,, not being a virgin?”
,, exactly, do it with someone you love and not just someone you meet, make it special”
,, well coming from someone that have told me he would take it so I don’t die a virgin, did I not think of a romantic guy” I chuckle ignoring his protest about it was something he said in the moment and he doesn't mean it. When we get home we start on the books again and the next couple of days we don’t really do much other than read those dusty old books.
When Dean comes up from the basement he looks like shit, you can clearly see how much it takes on him to see his brother like this. Especially cause he can't see it himself that he have fall out of the car. He doesn't say anything just take the book and read. Bobby calls me out in the kitchen needing some help with the lasagna he's making, on the way to the kitchen I can't help but ruffle up in Deans hair like to say it will all be okay one day. We just need him to dry out.
Suddenly after a while we begin to hear Sam scream downstairs.
Bobby find some whiskey and pour it up in some glasses, even though I usually is not allowed near alcohol do Dean give me a class clearly seeing I need it as much as them.
,, how long is this going to go on?” Dean croak looking at Bobby with a painful expression, I gulp it all down in one go, and try to get the screams out of my head. ,, here let me look it up in my demon toxic manual, oh wait, no one ever wrote one, no telling how long it will take. Hell, or if Sam will even live through it” Bobby confesses looking at both of us with a pained look. If he will survive it? He will survive it, it's just demon blood. Okay that doesn't even sound convincing in my own head.
The telephone starts ringing and Bobby pick up, Dean comes over to me in the couch.
Bobby keeps getting phone calls from what I think is hunters that have heard the rumors about Sam. Suddenly Bobby gets quiet and looks over at us with a surprised expression.
He gets Dean into another room and tells me to stay put.
When they gone I sneak over and snatch the bottle from his drawer and almost empty it before putting it back. I can't handle to hear his screams without doing nothing.
And Dean won't even let me see him.
Bobby and Dean comes in with a piece of paper and tell me that it's what a guy named Rufus called about. ,,- there's no doubt about it. They are all seals, breaking fast” Bobby grumbled, I look at all the things that have happened and so many people that have been killed because of that. ,, how many are left?” I question not really sure I would like the answer.
Cause Dean have told me they try to free Lucifer, and I wouldn't like to meet that guy.
,, who knows, can't be many” he looks over at Dean “ where the hell is your angel pal?”
Dean snorts you tell me and begin to walk away “ I'm just wondering, if the apocalypse begin, Is it not really the time to be babysitting Sam” Dean ask what he means, and bobby begins talking about Sam can kill demons with his mind, and sadly I begin to realize where this is going. And so are Dean.
,, sacrificing Sams life, his soul for the greater good?” he begins to walk towards Bobby with a angry face making me stand up ready to throw myself into the fight if he decide to jump the old guy” times are bad, so let’s use Sam nuclear warhead?”
,, I know you hate me for suggesting it, I HATE ME for suggesting it. I love that boy like a son. All I'm saying is, maybe he's here right now, instead of on the battlefield, because we love him too much” I see Dean begin to think over what he says, and I know his right.
If it's true and it's look like it, that Sam can kill demons with his mind.
Maybe we should use this as an advantage instead of trying to get it out of him, or at least wait till the apocalypse is out of sight.
I decide to take a walk and soon Dean joins me, we don’t really talk just going around between the cars looking up at the night sky. ,, we need him Dean. Maybe you should try calling him? he likes you, I'm sure he will come” I say after a while looking at Dean, he looks down not wanting do it.
Maybe afraid he will not come, but after some convincing he say he will try.
He tries calling him for almost two hours before I see Castiel behind us, I pull in Dean and point at Cas that stands under a light looking rather creepy. ,, it was about time” Dean barked looking at Castiel with almost a hateful look,, I have been screaming myself hoarse out here for almost two hours” ,, what do you want?” Castiel says with a deeper voice than usual, looking like he could not care less. ,, we can start with, what the hell happened, we saw each other”
I nod wanting to know too, it looked like king Kong and freaking Godzilla had a fight there and then Jimmy showing up. ,, what do you mean?” Castiel drawled walking over to use with his hands in his pockets.
There is something wrong about this I think feeling an uneasy feeling in my stomach making me step behind Dean and look at Castiel over his shoulder. ,, cut the crap, you were going to tell me something”
Dean in the name of god, can't you feel there is something wrong with him I think tugging his arm trying to make him step back from Castiel that almost stand right in his face ,, nothing of import”
,, you got your ass dragged to heaven cause of it! But it was not of import?” Dean say with a sarcastic tone ,, Dean, I can't sorry” he looks around like he's afraid someone is watching, maybe there is.
They are angels, they should could see all there is going on, on earth.
Be begins to walk away “get to the reason why you really called me, it's about Sam, right?” he mutters looking around.
Dean ask if he can really do it, kill Lilith, stop the apocalypse.
“ possibly yes, but as you know, he have to take sudden steps. Consuming the amount of blood it would take to kill Lilith will change you brother forever” well that should stop the discussion, nope we not going to do it.
“ most likely, he will become the next creature you will feel compelled to kill” he then goes on that he doesn't mean it's Sam that have to do it.
Cause heaven thinks it's Dean, the only question for them is if he's willing to accept it or not. To stand up and accept his role.
,,- you are the one that will stop it” he quoted like this isn't the first time they have had this talk. Dean just look at me squeezing the hand he took when Castiel told us that Sam will be the next thing we would want to kill. ,, if I do this, Sammy doesn't have to?” he replies looking at Castiel with almost a hopeful look. Like he's not afraid to die, and are willing to for Sams sake. And it does not surprise me, but still make me very afraid.
,, if it gives you comfort, to see it that way” he retorted looking at Dean with a wondering look like he doesn't fully understand why it is so important to him that Sam is safe. ,, god you a dick these days” he swore dragging me with him away from Castiel, I get eye contact with Castiel and mime dick to him. Dean looks me in the eyes, I can see the struggle behind them, but also clearly see that he already know his answer.
He take a deep breath and reply ,, fine, I'm in”
,, will you give yourself over holly, to the service of god and his angels” Castiel quote like it isn't the first time he says did. And as old as he is it' probably isn't.
Yeah exactly Dean mutters, but Castiel says he shall say it.
I shake my head pleading with my eyes not to do it, I feel like this is just the same as making a deal with the devil. Nothing good will come out of this.
Dean smile softly before turning around and look at Castiel. You see the despair in Castiel face, that just as me, it's almost like he's pleading Dean not to say it. And that he has no choice than to ask.
What happened when he was in heaven?
Dean begins to walk over to him, leaving me standing there seeing him walk away in more senses than one ,, I give myself over wholly, to serve god” he now stand in front of Castiel “ and you guys”
If angels could cry I would say that was the face Castiel makes before you are about to.
,, you swear to follow his will, and his word-“ he chants a whole list up like a tape recorder not looking like he wants to say one of the words. But clearly Dean doesn't see what I see.
A man that is forced to speak words he doesn't believe in.
He says yes I swear and I know the deal is set, but I don’t feel at all happy.
He saves one brother but I will lose another.
He ask what he's supposed to do now, and Castiel tells him to wait.
And they will call on him when it's time. He disappears leaving me alone with Dean.
,, Dean you should never have made that deal” I whisper feeling myself cry.
I hear Bobby and Dean argue about Dean becoming the angels bitch and decide not to walk into that, it's too early and Sam screaming and I soon can't take anymore. Wait I sit up from the stairs and listening.
He's not screaming anymore.
Not caring I'm not allowed I follow them down to the basement.
They look into the little lure hole in the door arguing if he's faking whatever happens in there. ,, I don’t care if he's faking or not! Let me through!” I scream when I hear a bang from inside, I push the guys away and force the door open to see Sam hanging on the wall.
Before we can get to him he rambles over the wall like he's falling down a hill. The looks like someone getting a stroke and before I can do anything they have taking him down the wall trying to hold him still on the floor. But he keeps fighting back, I see what's going on and take my belt off and put it in his mouth so he doesn't bite his tongue off.
,, we have to tie him down for his own safety” Bobby declare trying to hold him still while I sit with his head in my lap trying to make sure the belt still is in his mouth. What the hell is going on?! I think scared over him flying over the wall like that. ,, Dean you with me?” he looks scared at Sam still holding him down ,, Dean!” I scream getting his attention.
The next thing I know is the guys tying him to the bed and Sam soon stops shaking. I sit there beside the bed holding his hand, not sure what I can do, and not sure if I even dare to do anything else.
Something like this, shouldn’t be my life, I should be afraid not to pass my exam, not finding a guy and what outfit I should have on, on the next date. Not the apocalypse, Dean making a deal with the angels I'm sure he will die of. And Sam drinking blood that killing him cause he's about to go dry of it. This shouldn’t be my life.
Dean takes me gently by the shoulders and lead me out, I squeeze his hand the last time before following him. we all just sit in the living room not really sure what to do or what to say.
What is there to say? Sam was flinging all over the wall because of demon blood.
We had to I say trying to convince myself that this is not going to kill him.
,, I'm gonna ask one more time” we both look up at Bobby “ are we absolutely sure we doing the right thing?” Dean stands up looking at Bobby saying he saw the same thing as the rest of us.
That the demon blood is killing him, I tremble over I'm not the only one thinking that.
,, no it isn't, we are”
,,what?” we both say looking confused at Bobby.
,, I'm sorry, I can't bite my tongue any longer, we are killing him, keeping him locked up down there. Cold turkey thing isn't working. If he doesn't get what he needs, soon. Sam not gonna last much longer” his right, and even though Dean looks like he's about to cry, like I am.
It’s hard admitting it.
,, no, I'm not gonna give him demon blood. I'm not gonna do it.” He sobs not fainting to face it.
,, but what if he die-“
,, at least he dies as a human!” he yell interrupt Bobby. ,, I would die for him in a second! But I won't let him do this to himself. I can't” he looks at Bobby that looks at him with a almost angry look.
“ I guess I found my line. I won't let my brother turn into a monster”
This is not okay, god shouldn’t do this to people, I think wanting to cry, but I feel like I haven't done anything else lately than cry, and I never cried before meeting the guys.
But I can't take it anymore and almost jump over to Dean hugging him like there's no tomorrow, I'm not the only one needing it. And I can clearly feel that when he lays his arms around me.
I wake up in Deans arm on the couch clearly feeling that something is wrong in my guts, but what? I look around the room and can't see that anything have changed, Dean sleeps peacefully under me and Bobby lays over his desk in deep sleep. So it isn't anyone of them.
And then I realize, it's much be Sam, I wiggle myself out of Deans embrace and head for the door, when I feel someone behind me.
I turn around and see Bobby with his shotgun.
,, it's Sam” I whisper reaching for the door, I hear him mumble a I know and follow me outside. I head for the Bobbys thinking that must be what he will go after to get away, cause Deans would be easy to find, but how did he even get out? we see him sit trying to get it open with a knife.
Before I can say anything does Bobby pull his shotgun back making Sam turn because of the sound. ,, uhu Sam, the only place you going is back inside with me” he croak holding the shotgun pointed at him.
I get eye contact with him and try to tell him to just come back with us.
He looks hurt and in pain when he mutters no.
“ dammit boy” Bobby groan, he walks towards Bobby telling him he won't shoot him “ don’t test me” he said sounding like he's about to cry.
I move forward but stop myself thinking if I take a hold of Bobby me might shoot him cause of shock. So I just stand there, like a chick in a bad movie. But lately I feel like I haven't done anything else than that.
Just being there, not doing anything at all.
,, you won't do it” he moves closer so the shotguns end is pointed at his chest, I hear Bobbys heavy breathing filling the cold air.
Please god, don’t.
“ you can't do it” he stutters looking him in the eye.
,, we try to help your Sam” I say feeling my voice croak, he looks shortly at me before turning his focus back at Bobby.
What is he up to?
he takes the gun and point it at his heart and I have to hold in a whimper covering my mouth. He looks at Bobby that is shaking ,, then shoot”
He begins to cry making both of us just stand there afraid to do anything. Bobbys not gonna kill him, he loves him. right?
Suddenly Sam takes the gun from Bobby and smash it into his head I scream surprised and kneel down beside Bobby looking terrified up at Sam. He breath heavy and look at me like he's not sure if he should smack me one with the end of the shotgun too.
,, Sam please, we can help you” I plead looking up at him with tearful eyes, I have one hand on Bobbys neck searching for a pulse while holding eye contact with Sam.
Should I scream and wake up Dean? No he will knock me out before I even get the chance. He kneel down beside me and I try not to flinch when he caress my chin before putting his hand on my neck,, I'm sorry” he wails before I feel him hit something on my neck and everything goes black.
I fall of the couch startle both Dean and Bobby, I look around terrified over maybe see the lights of heaven, but instead I look at the same old dusty room.
,, if this is heaven I would like to get my money back” I stammer still feeling the shock and terror from the time with Sam. Dean tells me it's not heaven while he helps me up from the floor.
I shake in his hands not completely over the fact I thought he maybe had broken my neck.
Dean takes me with him out to the impala and sit me on the front seat while he check up on the motor, surely doesn't want me to get out of his sight again.
Bobby later comes out telling us that the police have found his car, abandoned in a alley in north Dakota. Dean ask if there is some cars stolen there, and Bobby reply with two cars have been stolen a 1999 Honda civic blue, and a he then tells about the other car telling it's like a neon sign and Sam would never take that, and Dean agree, but say that exactly what he would take.
Both me and Bobby look at him like “ are you sure?”
,, I know that kid, alright don’t head in that direction, stay here check the police data bases” he retort smacking the helmet down
,, we got to find him quick” I move over when he comes over to my side ,, no you not coming with me, you are staying here with Bobby, it's too dangerous” he declare trying to push me out of the car, I shake my head and take the gun out I have hidden in by jean line that I have stolen from Bobby barking.
,, he will not do that twice to me, I'm going with you. Like you said, it's dangerous, you going to need the backup” he tries to get me out of the car and even ask Bobby for help that just say he won't interfere, but in the end I win cause he know we need to act quick and it doesn't get better to argue with me.
,, how far are we?” Dean ask into the phone, I look out the window trying to catch a glimpse of where we are, we have drove all day trying to find Sam without luck, but not it's sound like we got a bait. I tap my fingers against my leg trying to figure out what I should do when we found them, Dean are sure he is with ruby, and he is more than ready to kill her.
But Sam won't let that happen easily, leaving him to me, he thinks I won't shoot him, and then won't care about me.
But right now, I'm pretty sure I could if I need to, not shoot to kill, but shoot to hurt. This has gone too far for too long.
We need to stop this, one way or another.
I hear Dean gets of the phone, only listening half to the conversation but still hearing Bobby tell him that he need to not push him away and help him. and his right, but Deans face tells another story. We drive about an hour before Dean stops in front of a hotel, he tells me to stay in the car but I follow him anyway making him glare at me like he's trying to put holes in me.
He walking down one of the corridors when he suddenly push me into the wall looking around the corner, I feel him tense up when I hear a door close and thinking it must be Sam.
We here the elevator and walk over to the room, Dean just look at the door shortly, before slowly opens it.
I see Ruby stands with her back to us packing while he walks over to her slowly not making a sound, something makes her turn around and he jump on her, cutting her arm with his knife before she stops him holding his arms, I see the fear in her face when the knife slowly comes closer to her face, he pull back making her fall into the wall holding her there.
He gets free and are about to gut her when I feel someone rush past me and then I see Sam pushing Dean back into the bed. I pull out my gun slowly because none of them seem to notice I am here and put the safety off. ,, just take it easy” Sam begs holding a arm towards them both like he's afraid one of them jump forwards. But with both their angry faces it won't surprise me. ,, that must be some of a party you two has been holding, considering how hard you trying to stop me from crashing it” Dean hiss looking furious. I try not to make a sound while I slowly move closer in on them. “ well solid try but, here I am”
,, Dean I'm glad you here” really cause he looks like he will gut you to get to Ruby. I sneak in the shadow close to the wall towards them almost reaching them. “ look, let’s just talk about this” I am not the only female in the room rolling my eyes over that statement.
,, as soon as she's dead we can talk all you want”
Sam looks like that’s not what he wants to hear him say and tell Ruby to get out of the room. Dean moves forward saying she's not going anywhere, almost making me shoot her right there in the head.
But something tells me that it won't be a very smart move with all the tension. And I don’t know demons enough to know if that actually will kill her. Sam stops him with a gloomy look and I see her run past me out of the room, leaving me, Sam and Dean.
Dean shortly gets eye contact with me before shaking his head when he sees I'm about to go after her before turning his attention back to Sam that looks at the door to make sure she's gone.
,, she's passion Sam!”
,, it's not what you think Dean-“
,, look what she did to you” Dean yells pointing at Sams entire body.
,, she just vanish weeks at a time-“
,, she was looking for Lilith!” Sam rage looking at Dean like he's the crazy one. Dean sighs and yell ,, that is French for manipulating you ass ten ways from Sunday!” not that I understand any of that but clearly Sam does cause he tells him he's wrong. Dean look helpless at Sam.
,, Sam you're lying to yourself. I just, want you to be okay! You would do the same for me, you know you would” Sam shakes his head pleading for Dean to just listening. He looks at the knife he's still holding before tossing it at the bed, I move closer now almost standing behind Sam.
,, just listen for a second, we got a lead on a demon close to Lilith. Come with us Dean. We do this together” Dean just look at him, not saying anything a while before he replies ,, that sound great” Sam looks relieved at him ,, as long it just you and me” and then he groan looking away from Dean almost spotting me if I didn't hide. ,, the demon bitch is gone, you kiss her goodbye and we can go right now”
He shakes his head saying he can't. Dean looks turn away with a knew it look not even listening to Sam saying that he needs her, to help him kill Lilith. Dean holds himself over the mouth with closed eyes not even listening anymore to Sams bad explanation.
,,- one day you will understand” both Sam and Dean sighs and then he says the stupidest thing he could say “ I'm the only one that can do this Dean” making Dean turn around.
,, oh you not the one that’s gonna, do this”
,, right, that’s right, I forgot. The angels thinks it's you” he quip rolling his eyes.
Dean looks at him surprised asking him if he doesn't think he can't.
God this have gone too far, I am almost about to jump Sam when I hear him say.
,, no, you can't. you're not strong enough-“
,, who the hell are you-” Dean begins to move forward with a murderous look.
,, I'm being practical here, I'm doing what needs to be done” Dean look at him like he just told a joke, and I see it click for him and he reply ,, yeah, you're not gonna do a single damn thing-“
,, stop bossing me around Dean ” Sam yells almost spitting looking at Dean with the same look.
He takes a deep breath before continuing ,, look, my whole life, have you taken the wheel. You called the shoots. And I trust you, because you are my brother! Now.. I'm asking you for once to trust me” he looks at Dean with despair in his eyes seeking the answer he needs.
But Dean just nods, before saying a single word. No.
And I see the it crash down for Sam, he really taught Dean would agree.
,, you don’t know what you doing Sam” Dean says calm looking at him with sadness in his eyes.
,, yes I do!” Sam replies like a child.
,, then that’s worse” Sam looks surprised at Deans outburst, and ask why like he really doesn't understand. ,, cause it's not something that you doing, it's what you are!”
Oh no, Dean I think scared when I see Sams face darkness and his worst fear come to life.
That Dean think he is a monster. ,, it means-“ ,, what?” Sam looks at him with tearful eyes shaking his head, whispering no. he dare him to say it and I pray shaking my head that he doesn't.
,, it means that you are a monster”
Sam nods looking away, I see the tear roll down his chin, but he doesn't see that one also fall from Deans. And out of nowhere he punch him in the face make me whine surprised making him look terrified at me over I heard it all. He stand there breathing heavily looking from me to Dean on the ground that just stands up and look at Sam. Suddenly he jumps at Sam and keep punching him in the face making Sam fall backwards and me running away not to get hit myself.
,, guys! Stop! This is not how we should tackle this! Both of you!” I scream trying to get through to them. But they just keep fighting, punching and kicking each other.
I try to stop them but almost get hit of Sams right hook that sends Dean flying into the mirror.
I scream horrified dropping the gun, and run over to him. he doesn't see me at all to full of rage that he just turn around and jump at Sam that sends him flying through the hotel's wall decoration landing on a glass table that scatter all over the room. Dean just lay there groaning over the pain and Sam looks like a mad dog moving towards him. Suddenly Sams lay on Dean trying to choke him and that’s when I wake up from the shock and kick him on the back to get him of him.
,, Sam! Let him go! I said let him go!” I scream still kicking my it's like he doesn't hear me or feel me kicking him cause he keeps choking Dean. I see the gun lay beside me and pick it up.
I jam it right between his shoulder blades making him stop.
I look down at Dean that wheeze for air and Sams almost crazy face I only seen on the mental ill people that sometimes get showed in the TV. ,, you don’t know me. None of you do! You never did. And you never will” he begins to walk away and I kneel down beside Dean trying to press on the wounds in his face to stop the bleeding. ,, you walk out that door… don’t you ever!... Come back” he wheeze trying to catch his breath, I shush at him trying to get him to breath normal again, I look up at Sam that just look coldly at both of us. Before opening the door and walk out.
The look of despair on Deans face almost make me forget that I also am crying.