To the Past I Know

There's a lot to say in this limited time called our life span. There's a lot of words that have yet to be said. To all the people I know, I'd always have inner thoughts that I'd like you to know and you should probably one day know. There will never be enough time for me to say this, if I even dare tell you this directly. In this limited time, let this be a piece of me for you.


4. To the one who loves but often forgets herself

I don’t know you as long as I know many people. About half a year, give or take. When I first met you face to face, you hit a chord in me. You had this look in you eyes, a very familiar one.

I know that look. That look, was one I once had. It's not a expression, it's not a look, it's not the shape. There's something deep in the eyes, it's indescribable. It's not the wrinkles at the corner of your eyes when you smile, it's not the furrowed eyebrows when you're confused. It's hard to explain. When you're one of them, you'll recognize people like you.

It was in that split second, I felt with you. We shared similar experiences, we've gone through hard times. No, we may never talk about it, but it is in us that we share it. You too, liked psychology, you enjoyed reading people, predicting them as I did. I guess there was some sort of push for some of us, to want to find out why we turned out this way.

You love others too much to care about yourself. That's you and that's what I love about you. Yet, ironically that is the reason we get hurt so often. We throw our love away even though we know it's going to be trampled upon before being thrown back to us. We are sensitive to the mean words said, we are jealous of how happy other people are, we're sad, that we can never be like them. But let me tell you this, you're unique, you're full of care and don't you ever, ever dare blame yourself for the things you can't control.

I tell you this, as a survivor. Many don’t make it out of there. And I am here to make sure that you, are going to make it out of here. Alive. Mark my words, cause I will mean them.

I've been through this process, I've lost friends, lost myself. But I have faith, faith in you. You are going to make it. You will make it.

One day, you're going to look back at all these times you’ve lost your soul. You will be proud, that you've made it. I may have returned to this cycle again and I may not be there with you, but always remember, you deserve this happiness. You deserve all the joy there possibly can have in this world, you really do. One day, you'll see that there are people in this world who love you. Don’t change yourself for others. Be who you are. You're going to realize that in this world, you have to find a friend that will always be there for you, no matter what. In the process of finding one, you'll lose many. Have faith, you will find someone who will last a lifetime, someone even better than all those you've left and lost.

You will make it out of here alive. You will make it out of here and you will be happier than you have ever been. Have faith, have hope, and it shall all be well.

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