Too late to feel loved

Sometimes when people decide to love you, it's too late


1. Final

The first time he feels unloved is when his mother dies. People around him look at him with pity in their eyes, not a single one giving him the love he needs. Not a single one pulling him into a hug, telling him that they'll be there for him. That it's okay for him to be sad and to cry about it.

The next time he feels unloved is on his first day of school. The students around him looks at him as if he's strange. As if he's so different from all of them. When he tries to talk to them, they all look away, not wanting anything to do with the weird boy, who came to school without his mother on the first day.

Another time is in 3rd grade and the class is doing their first group project. He wants to help. Wants to do his best and make a part of the final product, but when his group hands in the final assignment, his name is the only one not on it. He has to make it all by himself for the week after.

He's 14 when he finally starts to get friends. It's great for him to have someone to laugh with, but he's never the first one. He's never the first one they come to. He's the second choice - sometimes even the third. Even then, in the middle of friends, does he not feel loved.

Around the same age he joins a group chat. There's about 20 others and all of them comes from elsewhere around the world. Everyone becomes great friends and they become some of his closest friends ever. The others become great friends outside the group chat as well. He's the only one who's just staying in the chat all by himself and once again, he feels unloved.

When he's 17, he's depressed and he doesn't know what to do. Crying late at night is a normal thing, yet sometimes, it gets too much and he tries to reach out for his father, texting him a few times in the middle of the night. Not getting an answer, the last text says something along the lines of 'it didn't matter anyways'. That's when he receives the answer he's been hoping for, only to find out that it's a simple 'okay'. Another day where he doesn't get to feel the feeling of love, that he's been craving for so strongly.

The first time he feels loved, is when he hears the yell of his name as he sets off, jumping from the top of the building. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, and the only thought in his mind is how he might have been able to live, if just they hadn't been too late.

But they had.

It's too late, when he hits the ground. 

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