Spock and Bill came walking out of JC Pennys with a cart that held a couple of bags. Mostly consisting of pants, socks, underwear, and shirts. Just the basics. Bill was happily whistling out loud in a random tune. There were people headed in the direction of the front doors. Some people went right past coming out of the clothes store. There are other people and some unusual alien humanoids getting into strange vehicles. Bill came to a stop appearing to be confused. Bill stopped whistling standing by the yellow pole beside a air-car. Spock stopped in his tracks.
"Which one is my air-car?" Bill said.
"Yours has your name on it." Spock acknowledged.
"But there are rows of air-cars," Bill said. "And I don't have keys to make it turn off and on until I find it."
Spock rubbed his beard.
"I will check the engine hood of every air-car in the second row because I distinctively remember that we parked in the middle. . . . But I am not sure specifically where we parked in the section," Spock said, then he turned his head in the direction of Bill with his hand off his white beard. "And you follow."
"Yes!" Bill said. "Er," Bill faked a cough. "I meant," He waved a hand gesturing ahead. "Go right ahead."
Spock and Bill split up. Spock read the engine hoods to see several names but none of which were Bill's. Spock muttered the names he saw to himself. Some of them were engraved by markers or some form of sharp metal. His eyes were on the look out for the words 'Bill Shatner'. Spock came to a stop at the nineteenth vehicle that had a distinctive writing style he had seen previously. And of course, it ended with Shatner. And started with Bill. Spock looked up to see the man going right past.
"Bill," Spock raised his voice. "Over here."
Bill backed up the cart. Spock went to the passenger side of the vehicle then opened the door. Spock noticed there was a backseat much like the predecessor version of it he was more adjusted to being the hovercar. Hovercars were being phased out in the Terran empire and Desertfliers were still the norm on Vulcan except for some notable differences in the later versions. Spock got into the vehicle then closed the passenger side. He waited, and waited, and waited. Spock opened the door to see that Bill was at the other side of the row. How amusing, Spock thought, he did not hear me. Spock kept the car door open then made his way to the man.
"Bill," Spock said, once he approached the man. "Your car is in the second row not the first."
"What?" Bill asked, one hand on the side of his ear. "I can't hear you over the loud noise!"
Spock did basic sign language that Bill could understand,basically saying, "Come with me to the air-car."
"Oh." Bill said. "Okay. Where is it?"
Spock pointed over his shoulder.
"Ah." Bill said.
Bill went past Spock in the general direction of the air-car. Spock followed after Bill to ensure he made it to the right vehicle. They went past a air-car that had drawings of rather adorable bunnies. Bill opened the driver side door, put the clothes into the back seat, and once it was empty Spock grabbed the cart then rolled it into the nearby cart stack. Bill lifted the driver seat upwards then got into the air-car. Spock opened the driver side door then entered in closing the door. He put on the seatbelt. Bill tapped lightly where the ignition would be. The lights in the vehicle brightened up within the dark scenery.
"Next off: Wally World!" Bill said, tapping on the screen beside the steering wheel.
"Wally world?" Spock asked. "But air-cars cannot go through the atmosphere into orbit and then back again. It would be obliterated either way. And it would be impossible."
"It is a nickname for Wall-mart," Bill said. "So apparently Wal-mart never became big as it was?"
"Affirmative." Spock said, with a nod.
"We will levitate above the road since Wal-Mart is close by instead of flying over there," Bill said. "And besides flying would be illogical to do."
Bill looked over his shoulder, his window rolled down, head out of the window looking in the direction he is backing in. The air-car levitated above the ground. Bill ducked his head back into the air-car then drove his way out of the parking lot. Spock was browsing the radio stations tapping on the screen. Some of the stations were speaking in gibberish, six of them in Spanish, two of them in Russian, and seven of them in English. Spock came to a stop on a radio station playing songs. Spock nodded his head to the lyrics. The station was playing New Romantics. Spock then changed the channel.
"Oh my, feels like, everybody loves me!" Came the lyrics.
Spock hummed with the lyrics as Bill got onto the street that was sparcely occupied. There were little to no cars on the street. Bill looked out toward the sky to see several air-cars in the sky going generally a rather standard speed limit that would normally be seen on the road. Bill ducked his head into the vehicle. He came to a stop at a red light. Bill tapped on the steering wheel. True, he did like the song. True,it was catchy a few years ago. True, it was quite good. True . . . . The lyrics appealed to him. But on what level? Bill was never really certain about it. The light turned green. Bill slapped his foot on the metal only for the air-car to stay in place.
"Air-cars are programmed to automatically stop at a red light," Spock said. "You must request it go."
"Uh," Bill said. "Go?"
The air-car speeded forwards leaving marks on the road.
"SLOW DOWN!" Bill shouted, pressed against his seat. Spock's eyes boggled as he grabbed onto the arms of the arm rest. "BY THIRTY PERCENT!"
The air-car slowed down.
"The normal request would be 'ride on'." Spock said.
"Ooooh," Bill said, turning his head toward Spock. "So it is a lot like a horse?"
"Affirmative," Spock said. "It operates by voice command."
"Interesting," Bill said. "So it operates like the computer in science fiction movies."
"Indeed." Spock said.
Bill turned his head away toward the view screen. Suddenly there was something different about the scenery. Slowly but gradually buildings were changing before their eyes. Bill and Spock leaned forward watching the differences pop up. "Slow down by twenty percent." Bill requested. Both of Spock's eyebrows rose up disappearing under his white hair. It was like reality was warping. For a moment there the sky was lingering with darkness and the buildings did not seem to be fairing well but merely standing up like a puppet with blown out windows and dead trees. The next minute the sight was replaced by the lighter more eye friendly version except the McDonald's big 'M' had fallen from where it stood with a loud smack against the ground. The two leaned back into their seats.
"Is it me or is reality warping?" Bill asked.
"Reality has been warping," Spock said. "But it would be illogical to happen."
Bill shook his head then turned the car around.
"We missed the turn." Bill said. "Speed up by twenty-five percent."
Bill took a left turn heading up the street. Spock listened to the music being played on the radio one of which being 'Who are you going to call?'. It had the distinctive beat and melody to it. Jim had listened to it on one occasion during the month of Halloween on the Enterprise. Well, actually, it was blaring on the comn during November at a Halloween party. It brought back fond memories for Spock. Everyone had dressed up for that party. Spock went as Sherlock Holmes. Bill tapped his fingers on the steering wheel nodding his head to the music.
"If there's something's strange." Bill started.
"In the neighborhood." Spock continued.
"Who you gonna call?" Bill went on.
"Ghostbusters." Spock said.
"If there's something weird," Bill sang along with the lyrics. "And it don't look good."
"Who you gonna call?" Spock continued.
"GHOSTBUSTERS!" Bill had risen his singing voice.
Their heads nodded along with the beat and the music. The two old men sang it together. Frankly, Spock enjoyed singing it. It had been a long time since Spock had sung anything. Or strummed his lute with it. He was having a grand old time with Bill. Not to say that he usually didn't have this kind of fun with Jim and McCoy. Because they sure did but on different levels of 'fun' in their world. At the end of the lyrics, Spock and Bill shared a high five. Truthfully, one of these days he had to see where the song Ghostbusters came from. Nothing much survived the 21st century after the Eugenic Wars. Which is what lead to Khan Noonien Singh's self imposed exile with the rest of his seventy-two followers.
"STOP!" Bill shouted, loudly.
The air-car came to a halt, abruptly, as a familiar object became apparent to Spock. It was rounded and shaped like a pea. It had been followed by a large smashing crash landing that made the ground tremble and crack damaging the pavement. It would take time for sufficient repairs to get rid of the damage that much many humans would be aware. Bill was frozen where he sat staring at what was ahead. Pieces of metal were all over the place scattered about. It had taken sufficient damage easily dictated by the half open pod that was still releasing smoke. Which was unusual for this kind because it was built to prevent that kind of damage to what was inside.
"What the hell is that?" Bill asked.
"A escape pod,apparently." Spock said.
The two men came out of the air car.
"Woah . . ." Bill said. "A escape pod. . . I never seen anything like it."
Spock looked over in the direction of the man.
"I do not understand how you are unaware of these very required parts to the ship," Spock said. "They are essential to the crews survival."
"I do not like to watch myself." Bill said. "And back in the day. . . That would have been expensive to have a escape pod scene filmed. We didn't have the material for that back when The Original Series movies were being made."
Spock pulled the metal away from the inside of the shattered escape pod. Bill came to his side. Spock took off the reading glasses then put them into the breastpocket. They heard coughing from inside the escape pod. Spock pulled aside the damaged metal half to reveal a familiar figure. Bill gasped nearly stepping back as his eyes widened in realization. Spock, on the other hand, had raised his left eyebrow. The figure coughed swaying smoke out of their way leaning forward.
"Damn it,Jim, I told you that Klingons would prefer takin' out half machines!" Came a familiar voice. "And now, you just lead them Klingons to Earth! Do you honestly think that they are going to come up and say 'Live lon' and prosper?'" It was laced with sarcasm. "Klingons hate machines! I thought we established that twenty-eight years ago!"
"Greetings,Doctor McCoy," Spock did the Vulcan salute. "I am President Spock of Vulcan and this is my acquaintance William Shatner."
The pair of blue eyes stared at Spock.
"Jim,are you pullin' my leg?" McCoy asked, standing upright. He had one sleeve torn to reveal his right arm was completely made of metal. And it was very gray. One side of McCoy's neck was gray. Bill was left unable to respond. "Wait, a second," His eyes widened. "You are 100% human!"
Bill cleared his throat.
"I believe we have some news for you." Bill said.
McCoy tapped on the device on his chest.
"McCoy to Kirk!" McCoy said. "MCCOY TO KIRK! ANSWER!"
There was only sizzles.
"Welcome to reality," Spock said, holding his hand out at the terrified doctor. "Doctor McCoy."
"You are not half organic," McCoy said. "Don't touch me!" He fell over landing backwards then got upright. "You could be infected with a human organic virus that was made by Klingons capable of killin' my organic half!"
Bill shared a glance with Spock.
"Is it me or is the good doctor paranoid?" Bill asked.
"It appears he is," Spock said, lowering his hand. "Fascinating, I did not take the doctor for that kind of man."
"WELL, WHEN IT HAPPENS WITH A FORMER NURSE, YEAH, THAT CAN HAPPEN!" McCoy shouted.
Bill walked around the side.
"Rest assured,Mr McCoy," Bill said. "Spock is not equipped to do that. You remember the time Mirror Spock mind raped you? At least your version." He put his hands together then turned in the direction of Spock. "Well, this is the organic version of Mirror Spock." He turned in McCoy's direction. "He is on the good side."
McCoy stepped back.
"What if you are some replicated version of my friend but turned organic who is actually a secret spy to get the harddrives of secret Federation back up colonies?" McCoy asked, eyes narrowed at the man's direction. "I will not believe a word you are sayin'. You could be a incomplete clone for all I know."
"First off," Bill said, holding up one finger. "No one can clone Captain James T. Kirk properly."
"Properly clone my aft." McCoy said.
Bill stepped forward with a smile holding up two fingers.
"Second of all,you have a daughter named Joanna," Bill said. "She is probably forty-three. You are a grandfather. A human species named a child after Jim and you. James Leonard Askaar. You delivered the baby and had the mother slap you. It was an accident that you became the father because you were trying to tell the woman that it was her baby." McCoy had his arms folded. "Third of all, I can get you to Star Fleet and at the same time get you back on the Enterprise."
"The Enterprise was destroyed," McCoy said, bitterly. "It would be illogical to return me to what is most a arguably the end of my civilization."
"That is logical." Spock said.
"But it doesn't have to be," Bill said. "You and the Enterprise crew can do a lot when together. How many worlds have you saved?"
"Classified." McCoy said.
"Too many to count," Bill finished. "You will triumph. Believe me when I say: you can trust me. And Spock." He gestured toward the Vulcan. Spock had a small hand wave. "You need a new attire to fit in within the given century and all that. . . Practically have the 2286 attire on." He gestured toward the attire. "We are going to Wall-Mart for Spock's duffle bag, incense, and mat."
"Did you just call me old?" McCoy said, in disgust.
"It is 2016," Bill said. "And . . . " He stopped then turned in Spock's direction. "Spock, did I say he was old?"
"Negative," Spock said. "You said, I quote, 'You need a new attire to fit in within the given century. . . Practically have the 2286 uniform on'."
"Okay. . . I guess I did call him old," Then Bill turned in McCoy's direction. "My apologies, I did not mean to sound that way." Bill had a meek apologetic shrug. "Speaking of being old. . . I am eighty-seven!" He slapped McCoy's metal shoulder without a wince. McCoy was baffled at Bill's attitude analyzing the man. "Welcome to the triumvirate mismatched club!"
Bill returned to the air car.
"And you are going to need a ride," Bill added. "Whether you like it or not."
"How do I know that you are a evil version of Jim?" McCoy asked.
"You would have known all ready!" Bill said, then got into the vehicle.
Spock pulled back the passenger seat. Spock looked over in the direction of Bill. Bill was giving McCoy a empty promise. Bill was very aware of that, obviously. Something that he may not be able to give. Bill had his hands clutched tightly around the steering wheel. Bill had a guilty look on his face as the doctor began to approach the vehicle. Bill did appear to be sorry about it but that quickly faded when he caught sight of Spock and closed the driver side door.