20. Chapter 20
There I laid, on the bathroom floor, crying my eyes out over a guy--Something I had most definitely never done.
It was hard to trust him in a way--Especially when he was hiding things from me.
He said that he wasn't a killer, but why did I feel as if he were lying to me?!
Right now, I was scared....And I was hurting.
I wanted to be back at his house with him, but I knew I couldn't go back...Not unless I was going to fully trust him and give this whole thing a better shot.
Could I honestly do that though?
Could I give the relationship we had a better shot this time?
Would he even want to try?
I didn't know....I had no answer at the moment for any of that.
I knew that I had made a huge mistake and that I'd possibly never meet another guy like him.
Even though I was scared and cautious about this relationship, I knew that if we ever got back together, I'd try to do the best I could for the both of us.
He had this strange thing that attracted me to him....It had to be in his DNA.
He had to have something in his DNA that entranced me with his eyes and taht made me feel different.
He's like a poison in my system---I can't shake him off! He drags me in and I'm trying to stay away, but I can't....I guess it's just in his DNA.
Was I turning into a comeplete crazy person?
All this talk of DNA and such was making me sound weird--Even though I hadn't said anything!
As I cried, I tried to find a reasonable excuse to leave him, but sadly I couldn't.
I needed time to myself...I needed to think and decide on what to do.
It was going to be hard, but I had to do this!
As I continued to cry, I wondered how I'd ever be able to face him again...
Three days had passed and Josie was beginning to get scared--But she wasn't the only one!
I sat in my room, on my bed sitting indian style.
I barely talked or ate or even drank anything!
To her I was just the 'shell' of myself.
Harry was affecting me badly and I didn't know what to do.
He was constantly in my thoughts--I'd recall words he'd said--Even his dirty old t-shirt that he works in came to mind!
I wasn't myself and I knew it full and well.
Josie had tried her best to help me out, but I couldn't snap out of whatever daze I was in.
His number was still in my phone and I'd constantly look at our old text messages--But just as I'd get ready to dial his number, I'd stop.
What stopped me?
Well, the fact that I had completely let my fear get the best of me at his house...The fact that he probably would hang up....The fact that he would go off on me---There were too many situations and such that I'd just decide against it.
It felt weird not being with him at the garage or meeting him somewhere--It felt wrong.
Thing was, I didn't know how I could possibly make it any easier on me.
So, I just sat there, thinking and losing track of time....That's how it was going for me.
I was sad and depressed and very confused about what I should do, but I knew taht I had to make some kind of decision.