6. I Have Nothing
It's been 2 months since SLFL, but the amazing memories I had were shadowed by the ending that ripped my heart out. He is a famous guitarist in a band get over it, he does this to every girl in every city. I thought to myself. But nothing seemed to distract my mind from him, it wasn't just fangirling, it felt real. Nobody understood what I felt, they just said "He probably wasn't looking at you." or "It's his way of keeping fans, flirt and they'll come back." I knew in my head that it was never going to happen but my heart was ruling everything and it wouldn't listen to logic. I solemnly picked at my salad going over the sequence of events from that night again for the billionth time. When I reached the end where he looked at me and just turned away all the pain flooded back again and my heart sank. I felt so stupid for actually thinking he might like me. I was so alone in this feeling. Lilly didn't get it and after she met him she wouldn't tell me what he'd said to her. She would get defensive and say she doesn't have to tell me anything. We gradually stopped talking as much and now we barely communicate. I feel like I've lost everything.
I walked home slowly from school and again the world passed by me in a blur. I suddenly became aware of sirens and a group of 5 fire trucks, police cars and ambulances sped by me, only to stop a few metres up the road, my road. I looked on curiously. There was no worry in my mind. It won't be anything to do with me, life wouldn't be that cruel. I thought. I walked up the road towards my house only to be greeted with a burning wreckage of my childhood home. There was no screaming, people in uniform bustled around attempting to put out the house engulfed in flames, I stood there lost. What was I supposed to do? Do i call mum and tell her? .... That was when realisation hit me and I was suddenly aware of a tight restriction of air in my chest. Mum should be here. Where is mum? I ran towards an officer, begging him to tell me where my mum was. He looked at me with such sympathy that gave me my answer.
"I think we should go somewhere quiet to talk about th-" He started before i cut him off.
"Just tell me! Is she dead?!" I screamed, the tears streaming down my face now. He nodded and put his arm round me. I tried to shrug him off and began punching his chest before giving up and sobbing heavily. Now i really had nothing. I didn't know my dad, I had no brothers or sisters or aunties or uncles it was always me and mum. Now it's just me.