1. A Brief Note
Readers, Listeners, Observers, Whoever-you-are, it is imperative that you read this story in the voice of Cecil Baldwin of Welcome To Night Vale.
If you aren't familiar with the podcast or the velvety, beautiful tones of Cecil, then please listen to at least a few minutes of the first episode, which I have linked here as the trailer.
(Of course, I highly, highly recommend that you just go right ahead and listen to the whole series, but that's not necessary for the purposes of this. But seriously, do you ever feel like you're missing something? That there's just some sort of unidentifiable emptiness in your life that can't be filled by food or books or religion? It is Night Vale, friends. That is the strange and empty void in your soul, and only by listening, can you fill it.)
Welcome to Night Vale is a bi-weekly podcast that simulates the radio broadcast of a strange little desert community where weird things happen and everything is taken completely in stride. It's narrated by radio host Cecil Palmer, and is incredible for reasons too numerous to count (but if you'd like me to, I'll certainly try).
Additionally, I have embedded a song in the middle of the story to be listened to when it is reached. Avid listeners of WTNV will understand, and the rest of you will be justifiably confused. It's all right.
And hey - thanks.