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Andrew’s Sister Location
Piece by piece you think you’ve got it all put together; the puzzle is no longer the problem, you have it all in your very hands. When you have the cards right in front of you, you know that the truth lies in one of those fingers. With each choice that you make you know that each card is a figment of your imagination. Yet it feels so real and it feels so right. What’s left?
“Well, here’s your prescription, make sure you take one in the morning and one in night, don’t chew, don’t swallow, take it whole.” A nurse whispered to her little ear.
She nodded as the exchange happened- from one hand to the next, a second deal was going on; a second exchange that happened behind a closed door. Dark hooded, this stranger had two packets full of powder; pure white powder. The eyes lit up, and the person receiving the packages looked bewildered by how little these packets really were. A few words like ‘more’ – ‘dosage’ were shaken in the room, the words spilled out like tears when one would hear the sudden knocking next door.
“Mama, we’ve taken the units, we’ve taken the digits, it’s all part of the deal.” Her voice soothing, but not quite as angelic as mother’s.
“Did you actually believe that a dosage of that stuff would change the world?” Quite cunning, she had a point, though.
“Yes, I believed it cos I wanted to believe it.”
She laughed right in her little face; “’Mama,’ doesn’t have anything to do with you. By a world changing, it’s not our world, it’s your idiotic world that you made up inside that stupid little bitch-ass brain of yours.”
Rudely awoken by that same alarm clock, the same two windows to greet you. The same body to stand before you; completely naked, but you don’t quite see a reason to look away. You just want to admire this body, this figure that looks right at you. Those eyes don’t go anywhere, but something else enters somewhere. It’s quite an expression on your face, but you can see right away that the redness is swelling with ease.
“You- You are going to be late; you are going to be real late if you don’t move your ass this second!”
Quite wise words from a very wise mother, not like my stupid ass could disagree with her. It just wanted to stay right at home; wrapped up in a warm sheet of fabric. Then, you’ve got a sickness dwelling within, you just don’t see it coming, you never fucking do. And when you finally see this sickness take over her mind, you start to see the real problems in life; you.
Wallpaper not quite glued to the wall, the ceiling cascading to the side, and the damage to the rooftops remained. Mother’s dying in a rocking chair, and baby is now sleeping like nothing ever happened in the first place. Father? Did he ever really exist? That man didn’t have anything to his name, just locks on rooms; but he would never come out into the hallways.
Mother becoming quite sloppy, and her face falling to the side, her jaw lowering more and more, and my stupid clumsy self couldn’t reach the handle of this door. This tall, large, freakishly dangerous looking door that stood between me and my only family. She’s dying in there, and I know this cos once you are outside- you can’t quite get inside. She locks you out, and the door is like the boundary, the one I won’t cross.
“Andrew, you’ve always been sweet to me. K-Ky- Um, Flynn, you-you’ve always been so nice to me.” Her voice dying just like her body that wanted to give way for a new one.
“It’s by my bedside, I can’t tell you why I thought about it, it’s kind of a thought that sticks with you.” I told her how the room was just her own private-hospital ward.
“And-and, you promise that I’ll see her again? That my baby doesn’t fall down into this… death trap?” How could I say No to her? She’s the one that gave me life too.
“No promises, she never takes her medication, do you think it’s something to do with her heart?” Not quite the word I’d use.
Her face shifted again, and no longer on the left side- no longer on my side. She’s facing the wall like someone is actually there. She’s facing the ceiling like someone is calling her from up above. Fuck off, dad, you’ve taken many people away from me, friends, family, and this is how you repay my one and only, my sweet sister?
“Courage- it’s not an easy task, it’s a feeling that doesn’t quite stick.”
“Envy, something you won’t feel for quite some time. Father didn’t need it in him, he let it all out with one single shot.”
“Desperation- that’s the one thing that your mother couldn’t let go of, she’s quite the whore. Always begging for something juicy- something to stick right into.”
30 Minutes, 30 Hours, 30 Days, 30 Months, 30 Years?
“You’ve got quite a heart, you’ve always had a heart of gold- deep-deep down, like you can’t quite see the gold.”
“Doctor, I’ve taken my prescription, it’s not the one that my GP recommended though…”
“Why would we recommend you anything different?” That voice didn’t seem convincing, not even friendly to be honest. “If one falls sick, the other must fall too- and you’ll see that these limits are changing the world by a landslide.”
“You’ve told me several times, several days, several fucking weeks,” “That I could be this crazy- crazy child who doesn’t quite know what she’s doing, you told me that you loved me.”
“After talking to your GP, I told her that my deepest concern was your good health. There’s millions like you, you’re not the only suffering from a disorder.”
“Actually, I feel I am the only one who actually knows what’s going on, whilst you continue to poison society with pills.”
CUT DEEPER, CUT DEEPER, LET IT ALL OUT!
-Mama is now sleeping, she’s not waking from her usual naptime. Sister is no longer partying with others, she’s not casual, she’s taking out friends for true night outs. Her obsession with this cheerleader is quite concerning, she’s not shared such information with father. Then again, why would dad ever come to the rescue? He’s up in the clouds- I’d take a breather every time someone tells me he is in a better place.
“PLEASE LET ME OUT OF HERE, I J-JUST WANT TO BE FREE.”
Tears rolling down those two eyes.
LOCKS, TORTURE, DEATH, - It’s inevitable. It’s impossible.
“HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I WOULD STAY HERE? HOW DID YOU FUCKING KNOW?” –
“Wake up, do I really have to oil him up again?” – Just like that, my eyes opened as if little Andrew had just awoken from an epileptic seizure.
“I’m awake; I didn’t expect you to take me out of here.”
“Look at me, it’s all tyres, cables, and a whole lot of wires that don’t quite make sense.” HE looked right at me. “Then, you’ve got your sources, you’ve got your media, it all makes sense when you connect them.”
“I’m awake, I didn’t sleep, I just wanted to be away from this.”
“ASK YOURSELF- No, no, calm down.” He stopped trying to beat the information out of me. “Give yourself a chance to look around the room, to see that you and me- we aren’t so different to those who disobey.”
“I’m awake; I didn’t know I was being a rogue in this operation.”
“You, you really need to listen for once.”
“I listen all the time, I can’t stop listening to you.”
Just like that, I was strapped to the wooden chair in the middle of a room. A right light flickered on, quite the hellish experience. A devious taunt not far away from me, and you can see the trembling souls within- it’s like the fear itself is not all there. Oh well, I no longer have to listen to them.
SILENCE- Your gift from the greater gods.
My scream is what awoken my sister that night, she awoke too- not the pleasant kind. She suffered a seizure, me too, and I watched her jot down her notes, I watched her write till her last breath filled the room with her intoxicated air. Her eyes differed, the blinding light came by- and just like that, she died in my arms. My scream didn’t end until the beeping stopped, the zig-zag lines that never wanted to end with a straight path for me to walk on.
My eyes no longer following these lines, I followed what the strangers told me. CUT IT, CUT IT ALL OFF, it’s like it had got hold of me. The voices had claws, and I was the victim buried in the ground, but awoken by the sudden sound of skin being torn off a living person. Sharp thinking, sharp eyesight, but there was something missing. Too bad I never heard of such a story, no words, nothing really, I hadn’t heard anything after that night. My sister died, and little Susan wasn’t quite so little anymore. Her arms amputated, her body disposed of, how could I be the one to silence her? How could it have been me if I had no sound, nothing coming in, but I wanted to shout. I wanted to let it all out.
Susan died in my arms,