- ❼ -
- Andrew’s Father Origins -
Throughout the dampness, the silver linings around this robust car, some would look at it and think what a rich man, what a rich driver who lives the life of a golden boy. But nobody knows the truth behind him, this man who shows up when baby’s crying from the upstairs bedroom. Look at that smile, it makes baby shut up, but does it calm down the dying mother? No.
“Honey, where’s the fucking packages I asked for?” His voice so loud, little baby would never sleep with sweet dreams.
She’s hiding in the corner of the room, tears all down her face- “I told you, baby, there’s no more room for your addiction.”
Brave words from someone only a baby could love, “If I find out that you are lying to me, you will be getting it twice as hard.”
Just let daddy go, he doesn’t have to exist in our lives.
“You are going to wake up the baby, our fucking baby!” Her eyes were as beautiful as I remembered them that night. Just stone cold in a few hours.
Pulling out the drawers, he ripped out the sheets, he torn thread after thread from Andrew’s little baby stitched animal. “Sorry, son, sometimes a dad has to bring a little fire into the family. You’d understand, you’ll understand when you reach this size.” His hands showing Andrew a faraway goal.
“…Kevin, I don’t want this anymore. You, me, our baby, we don’t need this anymore.”
That’s when he stopped looking at me, he turned around to see the fear in her eyes. Ooh, mama just made a mistake, but I could put it right. Little Andrew could make a difference. I had to watch him flick the switch, the blade was out- shining in the dark like a glowing paste had been added onto the carvings.
Bye, bye, mommy, I won’t remember you. Daddy won’t let me; he hates it when I think of you.
The shadows on the walls, that’s what got me, it was the only imagery I could use to see what had happened to mother. To me, it looked like playing around with shadows. Mama just wanted to hug daddy, but the reality soon hit me- when I was older, I dreamt about it every night. Some nights I would forget about it, I don’t want to remember what my dad did to her.
It was playing around, it was fun, nobody had to know a thing. My little eyes could see the truth, two shadows stepping up to each other, and then the taller one struck with his hand. A shadowy arm dug deeper into her stomach, mother died that night, but I wouldn’t have known. Daddy was far cleverer than me, he had her phone number deleted. Clearing up the mess he had made, nobody had to know. Nobody had to see anything.
Then he looked at me, his bloody eyes sunk right into my soul. Those dilated pupils fixated on my tiny body, he had the strength to end my life too. Just look right at him, right between the eyes, and you’ll see the devil behind him. Faded, granted, but you’ll see the demon beside him.
All of this for some of the good stuff? Daddy just wanted to take out the one who protected me from danger? The one who had the guts to stand up to him. She just wanted out of his fucked up life, but little Andrew had no chance to save her. Crying is the best he could do, the best I could do. There was no chance in the world that Andrew was going to pull through this. Mama was dead, father was mad, and I was alone looking quite sad.
“No, no, don’t worry, don’t worry, son.” He looked so frightened, the panic in his voice was enough to go by. “Your mama just needed some rest, daddy gave her something to sleep on.”
Lies, you fed her lies, and you expected me to think about her differently.
“Sometimes, Andy, you’ve got to know when enough is enough.” He sounded so calm, it was as if he was used to doing this. “When the rough times come, you’ve got to be tough, you need to let out tears in the right places. Not always down your face, it’s not the way be to be strong, son.”
Strength is nothing compared to you. It’s just a word that has no meaning, and you have no choices left, feed me lies too? Is that your little plan?
“I-I’m going to take care of your mama, she’s better sleeping downstairs.” Look at him, he walked away from you telling you nothing but shit. He would never reveal his true intentions.
Bury her, bury her as deep as you can. Mama always loved it deep, I only know that thanks to your fucked up Journal entries.
“Don’t worry, son, I’ll have this place looking brand new.”
More than two hours had passed, and little Andrew was facing the world alone. He left me in the dark for as long as he could. There was no way he would ever come back to face me, and mama never gets any chance to see me. Dad made sure that she was gone forever, not even her spirit could see me.
“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS?” That loud voice roared, the empty rooms shook. The loose wallpaper torn a little more.
Killing her is like putting my mama to sleep? Then what is killing you like? Do you think Andre would enjoy that? I believe that killing is never an option unless provoked.
The heavy rain outside that had started around 4:45 AM, there stood a shadowy figure at my bedroom door. Every so often, the moonlight would shine in- I could see mama’s blood trail going all the way to him. It couldn’t be clearer, he did the bad deed, he took care of my mama for the sake of drugs.
“Son? S-Son? Daddy, your dad, he is no longer here.” He sounded so certain, it was like he knew daddy wouldn’t come back for me.
“When you are older, check the news, read all articles, don’t miss a single day, son.” It got closer to me, I still couldn’t see a face. “When mama tells you that your dad did the wrong thing, agree with her. When dad tells you that he wants to sing, shut him the fuck up. Just make sure he is gone from your life.”
Then, without a word he placed a small piece of paper underneath me, along with an envelope beside my little head. In his bloody hands was a shadowy box- it looked like a package to me, and then I knew from that moment that mama did do something right, she tried to hide the evil away from him.
Hiding the drugs was her plan all along, making sure that daddy never found them was her instinct on keeping us safe.
“Bye, Andrew, remember what I said, and if you ever need me- just remember what your daddy once said.”
Around this time, I could hear the sound of a power drill being triggered- the sounds were so loud, no way could I sleep this night away. My bedroom door vibrated against the floor, the shelves dropped off my walls. Everything was going all over the place- the screws that flew out downstairs was a mystery.
The final sound to end this night with silence was little Andrew crying for his mama, crying for his papa, but no voice was ever going to be loud enough to get to him. All the doors slammed, and before little Andrew got any sleep, he managed to get a papercut right down his left eyelid.
Remember the time when a little wound meant nothing to you? What about that time when a little blood bought memories with you? It’s all about the blood money, the dirty money, it’s all about the cleansing of it all. Cleanse the world of all this evil, dirt, and all of the blood that is spilled.
“My name is Andrew, m-my name is Kaya, my name is Andrew-- “He shook against the chair, the chains tightened his grip around the wooden beams.
“My name is ANDREW, A-ANDREW, my name is Andrew.” His voice ended after the one eye shut its self-off. The one eye with a single lens needed repairing.
“My name is Kaya, my name is Nadia- MY NAME IS ANDREW- My name is Indigo, her name is Kaya, my name is ANDREW, my name is Flynn.” The eye watched me again, it made sure that I said the right words.
The room was no longer dark, after revealing everything to them, the dark figure released me from the chains. I felt the metal against my spine, I could feel the knife just touching my throat.
“That’s enough of this bullshit, you’ve said everything you wanted to.” That voice wouldn’t go away, “sit the fuck down, and when we come back to talk to you, you need to remember the numbers!”
Forced back into a seat for their entertainment, and the many eyes that just wanted to catch a glimpse of me staring right back at them. Is there no fear in eye contact? Because I know what everyone must do to escape this place.
“You keep watch of everything here, you know all about the businesses. You seem to know an awful lot about us too, but you don’t seem to let your mouth carry you away.”
“I-I know all about your plans, I know all your documents, and I’ve seen your many passwords that you want to believe is for high security funded services.”
“Excuse me? I’m sorry, did I SAY YOU COULD FUCKING TALK?” That’s when the metal dug right into my first eye. Almost blinded by that punch of his, he knew how to shut me up.
“I-I know about your garbage deliveries, I know about your secrets, I know all of your locations- you may think I don’t know this place at all, but I know its inside and outside.”
I didn’t know anything about this place, I just wanted them to think that I was the higher one. I was the one with the cards.
In anger he grabbed a table from nearby, should’ve guessed it was going to be a torture table. Watching him as he slid it right underneath my left arm being held by a muscular figure. All of them behind masks, no wonder they enjoy this kind of thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were all blind too.
“We’ll ask you one more time- SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Holding a blade just above my wrist, could I really keep my voice down? “You tell us what we need to know, and we allow you the comfort of what this place has to offer for you.”
“What if I don’t want comfort?” I asked the question lingering in my mind.
He laughed at me, “then, we’ll have to take you outside. I promise you even the outside isn’t pretty, and that’s all because of fuckers like you. Little assholes who don’t quite understand the meaning of the word, ‘STFU’.”
I wanted to tell him how that wasn’t a word, but I think the enjoyment from all this was him thinking he was on top.
“Ask yourself this; why are you here? Why do you want to leave? And why out of all of these fuckers- have we allowed you to live a few hours longer?” He smiled at me.
A few hours? Wait, that’s not right, I know this place more than they do. I know the times, and I know how long I’ve been here. They want me to think that time is nothing here, but I know that my time here has been longer than hours! DAYS, MONTHS, I’ve been here for YEARS, I have, and I know the exact hour where I was held captive. I know it all, I do, I do.
Do you take this woman to be your lawfully-?