- ❸ -
No matter what way I phrase these words, I just can’t find the key terms. It’s rather they are glued within each letter, or maybe I just don’t know how to spell out my own name. It’s an hour since the delivery, I’m sure of it. I’ve taken control of the two doors that operate according to the schedule. The manual has it all written up, it has the instructive guidelines on how to remove the circuitry. I could pull apart every last wire; I could hold onto the cords without ripping out the very core.
Did you hear that? Another scream just echoing in a singular room, there is no free space for the sound to travel. It’s like being boxed in like the animal I’ve become waiting for the ones who did this to show their sick murderous faces to those who are suffering the same fate. Fate? No, look at the obvious, look right into the two eyes that stare at you every night; I can see a soul there, I can see someone inside the system. It’s like all the control is done on the inside, but for there to be an inside- there has to be an outside. I’m the outside, I’m on the outside, I have the ability to travel outside.
Hear that? That was a pregnant woman suffering the same fate as you and me; don’t be afraid, it’s normal when it comes to listening to the same voices. I’m a sucker for anything that comes by, but I’m no mosquito in this operation. Sure, being a leech is like taking out the bad blood, but I have more than enough blood in me to anger several demons within. If I was to position myself in such a way where the masked man gets something out of it, I would feel vulnerable like a pregnant woman crying in a back alley. What? You missed that too? I didn’t miss anything; I’m watching as it happens. This shit doesn’t come easy, I lost my dignity last night when a masked bandit stole my virginity. I know, I know, how could I be raped by the same kind? Easy, they want my blood.
I know what you’ve been hiding from me, I know what to expect. My innocence plays you like an instrument, but with you playing me- maybe we can make ourselves a real band of lies. It’s not something you see on a daily basis; I find that looking at the band is like looking at the killer. In secrecy, they are both fake, but the other tends to use stage fright as an excuse to perform.
“Snap the fuck out of it, I’ve just taken out your wife!” – My mind snapped back into reality, my eyes trying to fixate on this masked stranger.
“If he speaks, you cut the bone, it’s not like you’ve never cut into bone before. So, fucking just do it!” A loud voice came from the second stranger holding barbed wire.
“Listen, do you hear that? That’s the sound of a woman with a thousand faces crying to the stars.” My mind slipped up, I spilled what was inside of me.
“Ha, do you hear something? That is the sound of your dying daughter, and she isn’t going to enjoy the pleasure that comes out of her. She’s a little bitch toy, a toy that comes with a prize.” His smug face, if only I could see that face that he hides behind those threads.
“You’ve got enough courage to last you a lifetime, I still don’t like the way you look at me.”
SNAP OUT OF IT, SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
I . . .
The two curtains I left open this morning, they are closing by themselves. The window I left wide open for my friend to come in, she’s locked them from the outside. My only escape is the fire exit, but I blocked that off with my own bare hands. Nobody is in here with me, I’m locking out all those that try to get in. Everyone on the outside are untrustworthy, I can’t bring myself to let them inside. If I let them in, I can’t get them out, my voice won’t talk for me. I can’t speak like the stars do to her.
The container that had many stacks of cash building up to a mini replica of the Eifel Tower, I have a chance to contain that again. It’s empty, I emptied it when she wasn’t looking. You see, she told me that money don’t grow on trees, but I made sure that no trees would come to me. It’s like the fairy-tale where the trees dance in the wind, I made sure there is no air for these to breathe. I’ve stopped the oxygen supply, I’ve stolen the air that she breathes, and the trees can no longer reach her.
The glass barrier is no longer sealed, I watched that open by itself. The gateway to my existence is no longer real. My system can’t get into her brain, and her system can no longer upset others. If I was to hold the body down in place, I could rip her a new costume, but it would take some time. Time is not on my side; I don’t have time to count every time that ticks by. I don’t have time.
G . . .ET OUT
“Did you just say that another one has escaped?”
“I didn’t exactly say that; I was suggesting that someone has escaped.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means that a singular body has left the building.”
“Mr. has left the building.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m telling you that you are not here for no reason, you are here for an important assignment.”
“What are you not telling me?”
“This; you are here for no reason.”
The second delivery was hours ago, I watched them pick up the remaining crates. You should have seen their masked faces, it’s like nothing changes around here. You missed the best part, I got to watch a pregnant woman top herself. You didn’t see that? Did you miss the action? Oh, I miss the action all the time, it’s like whenever I find some good action, I’m lost in my own little world. They call it daydreaming, god, I have no idea how long has passed. Could it be that all this time I’ve been moving about? Am I not the victim to all this? So, why am I on top then? Why am I in control? Fuck these questions, there are too many answers to these questions. I feel I’ve given you too many questions. How about I give you some answers? NONE OF THIS IS REAL. [ O ] THIS IS REAL.
“What time is the next delivery?” A croaky voice shot out across the room.
Wait, there isn’t a third delivery, they don’t take three deliveries. I’ve watched every day go by with the same results; they come back with two deliveries. You see, friend, I’ve got you where I need you. You could just untie the chains around my wrists, and I could walk out free without a care in the world. My question to you is why aren’t you helping me? Why won’t you tell me how to escape this madness? Do you believe that escaping is wrong? How can you justify yourself against these criminal acts? This is pure torture, and that is pure murder, what am I missing here?