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Andrew’s Time of Arrival
Susan, the real key to my heart, the essentials to what really tangles the knots between my veins. Every pulse that is pumped throughout my body; I feel her deep inside. She’s my true love, but she’s my sister at the same time, I don’t agree on incest. Yet, I find myself coming back to where it all began.
Not far away from home, I could see the ambulances in the distance- an ovular shape between my arms, I had the courage to hold onto her. Never letting go was the way I chose to follow, I didn’t want to disappoint her. Leaving her back there would be a tragic disaster waiting to happen. Whatever happens to her, I know she’s in good hands.
“Not only did you sabotage my control over the system, but you also broke into my home; ruined my crops, and took full advantage of Sydney.” This man’s voice was quite the appetiser.
“He’s just a kid, do you really believe a young dumbass like himself could bring your family down to such a low level?” Not what I wanted to hear, but I knew that he loved me deep down.
“As the father of this ‘kid,’ I’m surprised you aren’t filing away those reports. Every incident that follows with this kid smiling down the valley, do you really think you’ve got this under control?”
“I know so; my son has never done anything wrong.” Thanks, dad, you really know how to calm me down.
That tall statue standing right next to me, solid weight, a real strength to the family. He’s always looked out for me, never once taken me down the wrong path. I can see why my mom chose him, why she loved him for who he was.
Not only did he make differences that could change the world, he made a real difference to those who spoke down to him. He would never once lower to their level, always staying ahead of time itself.
“Let it be known that your son is a thug, not just a thug, but a violent rebellion who will only bring more chaos further down the line!” He slammed his index finger into the table’s top.
My dad just grunted, still have to respect him for the way he deals with people like this; “I’ll file a report on you, I’ll make sure you go down for violating my son.”
“Sir? W-What? Violation?” He held his face in his hands, I could see how dad had twisted the knife too far into his own beating heart.
Walking out of the building had never been so promising, dad had turned over a new leaf, he had changed my life. Protected me from a rich family full of snobs, and a grizzly old man who got what was coming to him. My dad the saviour, my dad the one and only hero.
Susan’s out of it, she’s suffered more than just a few flesh wounds, she’s taken a whole lot in too. It’s like all that gas she breathed in was just a way to intoxicate herself. Maybe the pressure of having a loving brother was too much for her, maybe my own breath got in her lungs. It’s possible that breathed in all that smoke.
Nurses have told me several times not to worry, it’s just a statement; this person will recover from these injuries, and the full recovery will begin tonight. I guess she meant tomorrow, there’s no way she meant right this second, right this night. She seemed certain, Susan was going to pull through, my dad smiling like the big boss he truly set out to be.
“Son, do you think Susan’s breathing problem is my fault?” My dad stupidly asked, what a stupid question.
I nodded, “It’s your fault as a father, but not your fault as my dad.”
He rolled his eyes at me, he even smiled like I was joking; “You’ve got no proof, you’ve got no evidence, and when you’ve got nothing on me, son. I suggest you stay out of my way.”
That’s the one, he’s the one who hid deep beneath this loveable huggable brute. This is the man that my mother married, the grizzly badass who thinks he can wipe away his own son whenever he feels like it. I got it out of him, that disrespectful adult who doesn’t know how to look after kids to save his life.
“That’s right, talk to me like I’m not your son, make me feel like dirt.” I mumbled, everything had been so outright since our last conversation.
That’s when he did it, that’s when I could feel his large hands around my throat, a nurse just around the corner ready to witness this vile man’s actions.
“I don’t believe you were ever my son, you’re a disrespectful young rebellion who needs to get his head examined.” He didn’t continue, he didn’t give me chance to expose his true self to the world.
‘That’s right, walk away from me, make yourself useful for once- go do right by Susan, instead of talking to me like I’m your real son.’ I wish I had said that, maybe he wouldn’t have walked away from me.
Do you know what happens to those who love to hurt people?
They suffer from what we call ‘guilt.’ They take tragedy after tragedy to get their own head upright, it takes a loser to come between one with his / her father.
Your sister is just as violent as your father, you witnessed it that night. You got to kiss her goodbye, and you told her what she wanted to hear.
You made sure that Susan would sleep that night, you made a promise to your own stupid self; you made her sleep. Putting her to rest was your real intention, making her suffer was just part of the entertainment.
Awakening again, I’ve awoken from yet another strange dream. Two chairs in the room, not one of them with a person sitting upright, just two chairs. The walls around me weren’t red anymore, just smothered in plaque, it’s like someone crushed their teeth over the wallpaper. Thick smog, I could see the torched up building.
I thought nobody was here, it’s just me now, I’m alone waiting for these masked maniacs to make up their goddamn mind. It was me or them, but I knew right from the second I opened my eyes on who I wanted to suffer the most. It was me, I wanted my own body to succumb to their needs.
Decay, death, bleeding out wounds, I could feel it all. The sense that someone had been murdered in this very room, the sad memory that a wife lost her child to an unknown thug, a mystery man who doesn’t reveal his face to the world. The figure tells me that it was a male, not a female with exposed breasts.
They were rather stupid, dumb, or just overall inconsistent. Maybe, it’s just what they wanted, for us to see them differently. Maybe, to see them in such a different light was to show us the real exits to this place. Is it all just a lesson that we have to keep in mind? Or, have I spent my entire life between two bars?
Questions, questions, questions, questions. There’s nothing that connects these dots to other points, it’s like all these disconnections are associated with how we play our cards. If we were to choose the ‘get out of jail’ card, could we have had chance of survival? Would that kid still be alive; would he be breathing? There doesn’t seem to be anything to suggest that this is right.
“Ah, you went to sleep without a meal last night, it’s been several days since you spoke to us.” A masked stranger appears right in front of me.
“I’ve taken my dose, it’s a sleep like no other, but I know that sleeping is not the least of my worries.”
“Actually, it’s going to be your last worry, your final night to get a good night’s rest.” That smile was there; I could sense those gleaming white pearls.
“Why don’t you just kill me?” I mumbled under my breath, I couldn’t say it with confidence.
“Ha, killing you is not an option, I’m afraid.” He held a revolver to the outer left side of my brain, I just wish it was right next to my brain.
“Kill me.” The two words that would always come out with a smile.
“You know why I enjoy your obsession of death?” He looked at me, I could see those two eyes with perfect vision. “It’s because you aren’t afraid to play around with death, you don’t seem scared of being playful.”
Just like that, it clicked, the weapon in his hands just needed a little pressure. Just a little push in the right direction, and BOOM, I could’ve suffered like Susan. It’s possible that Susan could’ve suffered like me. Just one button, it takes one press to make me stand down to you.
“I’m not going to kill you, leaving you alive is far too much fun.”
“Breaking orders, we both know that your boss wants me dead.”
“We also both know who plays the royal cards here, who takes judgement on whether or not your life is worth saving. Leaving you to bleed out sounds like fun.” Ah, he changed his feelings for me.
“Just make sure that I don’t remember this.” I spoke out, that weapon shaking a little, it’s like he couldn’t pull the trigger.
“Forget it, I’ll let the others decide on whether you live or not, it’s no fun playing with you.”
Leaving me alone in this room, did he really have a choice? It’s like leaving me to perish was the easy option, but making me live for another night’s sleep. How could you be so naïve, leave me like this without food, cancel my one wish; death. What is it with these people?
He left the room, I was alone, there’s nothing more to it. Susan knew that the moment I left the room, there was no way someone was going to pull her out of there. If she had just gone a little deeper, I could’ve got what I wanted. A sister with a reason to live, but I got what I hated; a woman who doesn’t know her place.
There’s a leader around here, he suffers from an addiction. He’s taken violent thugs down in his time, and he’s always made sure that an innocent life is worth saving. Time is money, friends, leaving someone to bleed out is an option, according to the boss himself. It’s a choice that we get to make. Prisoners, we are prisoners.
Whether a misfortunate person wonders by, it’s a choice made by the individual, whether that person agrees or not, it’s a matter of time that stands on their side. If all the grain is up, then she’s chosen to be a leader. If the time is down, it’s like she never existed in the first place.
Susan, I made you a woman that night. You didn’t have to thank me, but you did have to come visit me in hospital. Leaving me alone back there was your choice, and your choice alone. You made sure that nobody came back for me, why would you do that to your own flesh and blood?
Back to those locks, they hold us in place, locking us in rooms that don’t mean anything to us. I’m a fortunate person, I’m the one who gets lucky, I sold my soul to him- made sure that he would unlock all my doors. Without a key, that seemed impossible, but dad always knew how to open a locked door.
One night I screamed so loud that mama came up looking for me. She’s got this in her eye, it’s like a tracker, it knows when her son is sleeping, it knows she he is awake, and it knows when I’ve been bad or good. So she’d kill me to for her own sake. I remember, December is the year where father chose to get rid of me.
I was thrown away at the back, and mama had no idea that her own offspring was bleeding out in a package. A large box that had been gift wrapped for Xmas day, it’s like Susan knew what was up- she kept knocking on for me. I didn’t respond to her, she wanted something from me, and dad told her to stay away from the Xmas tree.
If I think back to it, I can remember the exact words he used- a different language, I don’t remember the words. Susan, she’s tortured my family for several nights, they’ve suffered sleep deprivation. Father told me that Susan was the lost one, a young girl with big dreams on destroying families.
How could my own sister accomplish such a thing? Taking down many families requires skills, it requires a broken heart, and on December 25th of all times to kill someone. Susan got her hands dirty for dad, and mama got hers clean for the spring. I’m now seeing a pattern, the thread grandma left me- it links to events, it makes me remember those times where grandma stuck the knife in me.
This night is my final night to sleep, I’ve stayed up for the whole night. No sleep, no food, no water, I’ve taken into account that my own sister is no longer with me. My own father is dead to me. And my mama doesn’t come back until lunch time, she’s going to be out for some time. I now know that these masked bastards love me, and I worship their boss as he holds me down for more deliveries. Did I arrive in a box?
Homeless, dead, alive? Is it possible that Susan was here first?