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�� My name is Kaya- My name is Nadia- My name is Indigo- My name is Flynn- These are all just names taken from my own life. K.N.I.F.E – We don’t usually go around together, one of us is always in exactly the right place at the right time. Nobody calls for us, we call for them, and the trouble that comes along with every name- We don’t use names for just anyone. We create names for people who need us most . . . ��



- 14 -


ABBADON. Sorry, I’m not quite envisioned. It’s hard to explain, the difficulty that surrounds these waves. Concealing, that’s the word I’m looking for. To conceal something, you must have the root of the problem. These roots are entangled within the wiring. Cordless wires don’t need to be sent to the main drive. As with the actual connected wires, these need to be held by rope. It’s twisted, the whole tangling situation. Sometimes it’s quite a tangled up mess.

PANDORA. Again, I’m sorry, all of this data is coming from an unreliable source. Many of you foolish, brainless, not quite all there. Are we? Hmm, it’s interesting to see that out of all of the compressed files- you’re showing life. Yet, I’m given a chance to hold my own. To be something that others can’t be- and then I’m asking myself is this what we called gifted?

1:00 AM

Flickering lights above me, I can feel the tension within my arms. The skin doesn’t quite hold in place; they have made sure that the wires run through my veins. Using microscopic robot-like worms; these bury into your skin. I know about them; I’ve seen them before. These masked weirdos don’t know anything about science, and neither do I. Yet, somehow they are torn, ripping away the surface of cloth that holds everything together.

My eyes are not functioning; I can feel something going through my inner eye. The eye behind the eye? Yes, that’s what I’m feeling. Something burrowing into the very centre of my left eye, the masked strangers no longer watching me. From a distance, I can see someone. She’s looking quite thin, but I know she’s not looking right at me. It’s like she’s seeing what’s inside me. Looking right through my outer shell, how is such a structure built? I have no idea.

Forced to stare at fear itself, I can see death around the corner. Temping me with those skeletal segmented fingers. Oh god, they are all so tender- the thin claws that come off every now and again. If you blink, you’ll miss that creepy face staring right at you. My eyes fixated on the doorway, I can see the wires travelling through the rooms. This is what they wanted, a mini database to hold data.

Deciphering such a code like this would be impossible. Nobody would ever believe me. I’ve just seen the grim fucking reaper staring at me; do you believe me? No, of course you don’t. Why would you believe me? I’m wired up to machines, I’m being held in a room with all sorts of crap going on. Nobody believes me. Just when I can feel my hands giving into the temptation of grasping the handles. There it is again; it’s looking right at me. That shadowy figure stands watching over me like I’m some sort of toy. I’m being used by the greater goods in life.

Not long has passed, I’ve got no idea how much time is fading away. Every second that ticks by is being controlled by the clock. I’m watching this clock tick by, it’s telling me to sit tight. The entry is no longer giving me the exit vibes. I’m feeling the need to leave the room, but the strangers don’t seem to function the same way. They remain in place; they want me in the middle of all this. Why?

2:00 AM

God. Now there’s a name that sits back in my brain. It’s central, it’s worldwide. All of these memories broadcasted on a screen in front of me. One moment I can see my father looking like he’s lost a few pounds. Then, mother looks back at me with those evil eyes. She’s bewildered by my behaviour- I’m looking right at the kids who were murdered on the stairway. They are looking at me with puppy eyes. The monster behind all this is staring right at me, but I can’t see it.

Biblical. I’m getting a feeling that’s like no other. One moment ticks by; she’s fine. How could an hour pass leaving her to be gasping for air? It’s not possible. Nobody is capable of murdering her. She was beautiful, powerful, and ignited my heart’s bomb. That’s right, started an explosion inside of me. All those wires tangled up, it didn’t matter. Love kept me strong, love kept me going. Love controls this.

Bullshit. Don’t take a single word of this seriously. The explosion was real, it caused a woman to combust within minutes. Apparently, the first explosion was a dud. The second one went off, blasting off her arms. The third explosion ignited a flame, causing her half-dead corpse to melt away on a science desk. They didn’t even have the guts to remove her. All her parts were torn up in a shredder, then into a furnace for half an hour. I watched them remove limbs, it’s hard to imagine what that would look like. It’s comical.

3:00 AM

“Do you see what they’re seeing? Do you see the screen projected on the wall? That’s Heaven, that’s the memories that kept us together. Without them, none of this would be possible.”

“I don’t see it; I can see something that resembles my mother. Nobody else in this room connects.”

The time was no longer important, the location was the main focus. Just as I thought the wires were going to send through an electrical voltage that would fry my brain. A more muscular masked man stepped into the room. His voice sounded awful, like it had been thrown into a blender itself. The only words that made sense to me were the ones he whispered.

“It’s not that we can’t handle the situation here. It’s that we are the handlers of this situation here.”

- BEEP –

“Ah, after that stretch- I don’t think I’ll be showering for months to come.” He laughed.

Removing the wires from my arms, he yanked out the cords. My eyes were being torn into pieces. On the inside, I could feel the burning sensation. The outside was very sore, along with the eye socket wanting to spit out my drooled eyeballs. I couldn’t hold it together; the pain was about to get worse.

“After waiting for fuck knows how long, it’s a pleasure to finally be giving you the goodbye that you deserve.” He puffed smoke into my face. “And when it comes to dealing with insiders, I’m less than friendly.”

Allowing me to speak, I opened my mouth as if it had been shut for years. “I-I can be less friendly too.”

“If that’s what you think, it’s good to know your last thoughts.” – “I’m a man of my word, I allow you peace. There’s many out there who would KILL to be in your position, kid.”

“No, there’s many out there would KILL to end this.” I spat out blood, the red liquid looked foamy.

“Ha, let me tell you something; those wires, those cords, those power surges. All of it is linked up to your problems. I’m doing you a huge favour by removing this parasite from your body.”

“The only parasite here is the drug that you are using on your captives.”

“Sometimes you have to live with a few shadows on your walls. Then, we find the breakthrough where shadows are no longer needed to remind us of what we’ve lost in the process of getting things right.” Wise, he thinks he knows what he is talking about.

“Remove the parasite, then. Take out the virus that’s inside of me. Make it happen.” I agreed, it was the only way this fucker was going to leave me alone.

“I’ll warn you that all cameras are on. All systems are locked, and when you realize that- maybe you’ll stop trying to find time.”

“I need time; I need it to think.”

“The only thing you need is to bathe in the glory of others. To feel the sensation that comes with a few consequences.”

“What is it exactly that you do around here?” Firm, I had to be firm.

Taking a deep breath, that smoke was getting darker by the minute. “If it’s not too much trouble, I’d ask you to hold your breath.”


“Hold your breath.”


“Hold your breath.”

“Ho2” > “Stop”

“Co2” > “STOP”

‘Chemicals imbalanced.’

0:00 AM / PM

“Andrew… Andrew…” a voice awoken me, the sudden sound of someone tapping. That voice lingered on saying my name.

Continuous. It wouldn’t end, the word ‘Andrew’ would be held out for as long as possible. The voice pronounced it wrong, saying it correctly the next time. All of my name stretched out for others to hear. Hold your breath. Hold your breath. Stop, it’s not right to make anyone hold their breath. It’s as bad as drowning, you know what I mean.

1:00 AM / PM

“Did you ask them? Need I remind you that they asked for your name specifically?” My dad, he wants to see me?

“Your father is waiting for you.”

This isn’t right. Circular patterns all in the tiles, crested blueness. There’s cracks all over the place, vein-like colours cutting through the walls. All of the ceiling somehow holding up with no supporters. Everything didn’t make sense here. I ran towards the ward; the nurse had told me about this. She told me that my father is waiting for me.

Shaky, I can feel the body shaking with a pulse every few seconds. My heart rate is dropping; my weight is no longer existing. Low temperatures, high temperatures, I’m running a fever here. I grasped the wall, my fingers dug into the tiles. Just as I thought this place wasn’t weird enough. These tiles were moving like an ocean’s wave. The floor was pulsing, like my heart.

Hold your breath.”

2:00 AM




Back here again? The same chairs all lined up in front of me- like an audience is needed to fulfil my agony. All of this is pleasure, right? All of this is just for your pleasure. The masked didn’t look at me. They turned their backs to me, the wires were still connected, all except the red one. Nobody is listening to me, I’m speaking words. I’m trying to make sense of everything around here.

“Hold your breath.”

After that voice, how can I not obey? It won’t leave me alone. Every split second I can hear the word ‘Andrew’ echoing. This echo doesn’t stop; it just keeps going. These wires have no end; they travel through the rooms in a wavy fashion. The whole theme of this room looks to be the same as the outside room. It’s just a little different, a few extra tiles in place.

I hold my breath, holding onto the air that’s trapped within. Breathing in so much air- I feel like my lungs can’t handle this. After all, those wires sure go deep inside of me. They enter my lungs; they enter my heart. How am I still alive? It’s not possible. Who would be an operator around here?

Just like that, my body is numb. My veins still carry out the pulses. The difference is that I’m no longer breathing in this sleeping state.

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