My heart, it was just gone out of control and was hammering itself with the ribs as if it wants to crack them up. I was alone in the dark once again, naught a thing just the caustic dark that wants to dissolve my intellect too. My whole body was shuddering heavily with fear and terror, ‘Where was I?’ I asked myself but in dark I can’t able to see a single thing, the air also seems to be poignant as if something dead fills it. I clutch my nose with my thumb and finger because the smell was unbearable, I took a step forward that it stuck making me fall on something soft with my wondering eyes I start investigating it by tapping my hands on it so that I could sense it by touching. Something warm just felt by my hands that when I pulled them to see, they were drenched with blood.
‘Where am I? What’s all that? Am I in some kind of necropolis?’ I asked myself because at that time I was seeing endless number of dead bodies around me. ‘What is happening to me?’ I cried aloud and start weeping with the small snivels that were then filling that place; I became conscious when I heard something my heart it was like finding some way to go crazy even more. The thing I then see makes me froze to ground, the dead bodies they were coming to life. A hand appears out of nowhere and held my forearm that another hand appears and hold leg; I was just freaked out from all this with hard struggling I can’t lose myself from their grip. “Do you know me?” the voice just spoke and then one after the other they were repeating this same question, “Do you know me?” they all spoke gripping me even tightly I lead out a scream and then the place start filling with my helpless snivels as I weep, “You killed us… you killed us all… you are a killer… you didn’t even left our body for burial…” they were saying all this again and again; these words were just hammering my head I couldn’t even remember them killing but they were all saying that I killed them… I killed them all… then they are not lying.
With a large gasp, I woke up my heart pounding off its limits that my eyes investigate the place, ‘It was just a dream.’ I assumed because I was in some kind of quarter in which a small glowing light was laminating the place so that there was not that dark. I was on some kind of small bed like thing because as I was lying the tallness of the bed was just below my knees and my remaining legs were suspended vertically in the air, the bed seems as if it was of some kid at age 9 but the question was, Are there any bed exists which have a tallness of no more than 5 ft?
I get up finding my feet and the floor below me, by taking the support from the bed that was nearly 3 ft above the ground fitted with the wall next to it. I was almost going to fall when I let go off the bed but I quickly managed myself to stand and start taking small steps, I was testing my potential but still my feet need some more walk to gain their full power as they were shuddering resisting me to stand even longer. Suddenly the long beam of light nearly alike a slender rectangle, journeyed to where I was standing that my eyes looks for its origin and then they found it, straight ahead there was some kind of long door and at the base of it small cube like thing was opened through which the light was coming. I was seeing this that something reeled get inside and then the cube slammed close. My eyes start wondering what it was, with my broken steps I head to it I know it will be something special or maybe something tender and juicy because the smell I was catching was probably of some kind of food and I was starving as my belly button was kissing the back bone. Wow the smell was amazing outrageous so much mouth watering, so much appetizing just like my mom home cooking… this will going to be even more delicious than that I can swear this. By thinking all this I run towards it with my broken steps, I was almost close; so close that my ankle twist resulting me to fall but all this doesn’t break my spirit that I crawled to it and impatiently grabbed it towards me and tear up its outer aluminum covering. My eyes can’t believe what I saw then; it was… it was some meat… meat dripping with blood… it was uncooked… what the hell has happened to the world… why they can’t cook it. By thinking all this I glared to it one more time than I smashed it away making that steel conserve meat flying off to right corner that when it struck there the whole blood from the meat drenched the floor and the walls around it.
I was cringing on my bed, notching my legs and almost squeezing them with my arms that were leapt tightly around them. My head was conserve between them. ‘Why they are doing this? Why? I know that I’m in some kind of prison but is that how they treat the prisoners?’ I was frowning with anger asking all this to myself that to my surprise I felt some hand on my hind neck its warmth just goes tingle to my spine, I look up for who it was that I can’t believe what I see then. It was him, it was really him; but how is he alive? I killed him. “You shouldn’t have to be so hard on yourself.” he said and slither his hand on my left side face as he was standing on my right, “How did you… How did you…” I was saying that he interrupted me, “Survive… Well I was never dead my friend… just realizing you that you are like me.” he says while smiling that my eyes went abroad and a little moan just lead out through my breath but then I was suddenly so angry that I punch him in his gut making him fly off in the air that he lands two to three meters away, I jumped off from my bed and walks to him and then hold him from his collar’s front and shake him as he was sprawled on the floor grumbling, “Why did you do that to me? Why? I thought we were best friends I thought… Ah forget it.” I said and let go his collar and posed back to go that he held my ankle and gripped it tight, with the light moan he takes it as a support to get back on his feet, “Hey, you are pulling my pants.” I said when he was trying to stand by getting hold of fist full of my pants; I quickly offered him my hand and pulled stand him up, “Sorry (he breathes)… I just want to see if your internal beast is dead or not…” he said leaving me surprised and raged even more, “What are you talking about?” I asked him instantly as I was frowning, “Don’t act so irrational… you know what I’m talking about… you are a ghoul… a ghoul just like Me.” he said furiously and take out his Kagani which I can’t be able to forget for so long, “I’m a… I’m a ghoul… but how could you say so?” I asked him doubtfully, “Then how would you smell that meat which they sent for you? How would you be able to pick its scent as it was so far away from you? You are a ghoul my friend and a ghoul eats uncooked meat so get up on your ass and eat that.” he said pointing to that where I smashed it as the whole place there was drenched with blood, “I’m not eating that… it’s not cooked… so please leave me alone for some time I want a moment with myself.” I said that my voice echoed through the area, with my wondering eyes I searched for him but he was nowhere… just me alone in the delicate light from that laminating source.
1 Day Later:
I was cringing on my bed, starving but looks like it was my companion from this day on. I can see that blood drenched meat as it was now crawling with insects which I don’t know they’ve come from. Not even a word from him or his outline anywhere just me alone in the interminable loneliness.
2 Days later:
I was on my bed sitting as my back getting support from the soggy wall behind me, my hands and legs were sprawled as if I don’t have any strength left to move them now. My eyes were half closed and I was breathing softly I don’t know when my eyes got closed. I quickly opened them because I don’t want to go back… I don’t want to see what I’ve done… I don’t want to dream anymore…
3 Days later:
I was cowering on my bed, it’s been 3 days I’ve didn’t eaten anything and didn’t even slept. I smelled something that I jump off from my bed and with my trembling legs I started heading towards the door the vision I was getting was turning hazy and hazy after I took each step but I didn’t lose my spirit. When I was so close to the door I don’t know what happened but the other moment I see myself fallen, by crawling to the door I pressed my ear to it as there was someone talking,
“Why is he not eating?” some voice echoed as it was really aggressive and probably they were talking about me…I guess,
“There must be some cause for that…” some heavy but nonchalant voice just spoke,
“I’m going in… I don’t care what will happen to me but his life is in danger…” she said as I heard her steps closing in that I sniffed her scent and she was… Aurora,
“Hold your steps right there Investigator Aurora you don’t have to make me say that again.” He said… that voice… its surely of the man who came to arrest me as from the scent I picked,
“Sure cousin…” She said clutching her teeth I can hear her steps halting at once but then I heard some snivels… Is she weeping?,
“I don’t say that to hurt your feelings but your safety is my top priority as…” he was saying calmly as before that she interrupts,
“Please don’t inform me about the promise you’ve made with my mom… I’m grown now and I can handle myself…” she said that I heard her steps closing in,
“What are you doing Investigator Aurora?” He asks with his raising voice,
“I’m lending him a sandwich… I think that he could eat that…” She was saying that he interrupts,
“What if he’s not a ghoul?…” She said that he keeps on saying,
“What if he’s coming back to his old stage?…” She was still saying that he interrupts her with her raising voice,
“Aurora… you know that ghouls don’t eat human foods… if they do they’ll go sick and probably die… that’s why I can’t take the consequences.” He said that her steps comes to halt at once as she was so close so close to me that I would have touched her if there is not the door between us. I then feel her back tap against the door… she was probably sitting by slamming her back,
“Then please do something…” She was saying as she manage herself to get up,
“Investigator Arima…” She completes her sentence and then I can feel her moving away from me… from him as her heal taps against the floor.
4 Days later:
I was lying not on bed but on floor, my hands and legs were sprawled and my front was slammed against the cold damp floor. My breathing seems to slow as I don’t have any strength left to even get up and walk to my bed but it seems like I can’t even help expanding my lungs, my stomach it was like its digesting itself to provide me with the energy, my intestine it was like that its gap is slamming itself and my heart it was like slowing down beat after beat after beat. My eyes were getting close but I don’t want them to be… I don’t want to enter the bitter reality… I don’t want to see the ones I’ve killed… I don’t want to see him picking up someone and drinking his blood…
“Where Am I? Am I dreaming? Or this is for real” I cried out when I see the limitless dark around me,
“Yes you are in a dream.” He said that I recognize his voice it was really him I see him as the light from the infinite darkness converge on him, he was sitting as his knees were slammed against the ground and his face was not towards me,
“I know your name… want me to tell you?” I asks him as his back was still facing me as if he’s not attentive towards me but to something else,
“Yeah, sure why not.” He replied instantly as if his mouth was stuffed with something but I neglect it,
“Ken Kaneki… is your name… Am I right?” I replied with a little smile on my face,
“You mean our name…” He replied that my smile fades away,
“No my name is Haise… Haise Sasaki.” I tell him again my face flushed with a same smile,
“Yeah, whatever… Are you still hungry? I made this for you.” He said and lends me a plate on which something dark was there, I was so hungry that without any delay I pulled it from his hands and then I sniffed it; the darkness was too much that I can’t see what it was but it surely seems delicious. I start eating it… Wow the taste was amazing… the tenderness and the sogginess… my gosh… I’ve never eaten something like that before… but maybe it’s due to I was so hungry that’s why everything tastes good. I finished it in seconds and hand him the plate,
“Do you want more buddy? Here it is, enjoy yourself.” He said and with a sound of crack he puts some more in my plate, I pulled it to see closely that it was long, fair and soft thing I pulled it even closer that I see the fingers… It was a hand… a ripped hand drenched with blood, this means the thing I’ve eaten before was a flesh?… a flesh of someone… that taste and that smell was of human flesh? I became stunned at the moment when he sees that I’m not eating he posed to me; I can see the blood all over his mouth his hands and his clothes sodden with blood. He then wipes his mouth with his hand and sees me in the eyes as his was questioning,
(It’ll be nice to hear Unravel theme song by Kuraiinu but at low volume because a high amplitude song is bad for the ears and my job is your safety while reading… so have funJ)
“What happened now? Are you done eating? Haise what happen? Why are you crying?” He says as he sees the tears trailing down to my face with my hands that were then holding the plate. The place then start filling with my snivels,
“No, no, no… no need to cry.” he says and then hugs me,
“I’m eating flesh… I was eating flesh.” I say as I was so terrified,
“It’s who we are… we are ghouls my friend… you are ghoul I am ghoul… you need to accept that my friend.” He said while poking me in the chest and himself with his finger.
I wake up with the shrill screech, I was in the same quarter but I was so freaked out as if the nerves in my brain are going to explode as if my eyes are going to ooze out from their sockets,
“I’m not a ghoul… I will not eat the flesh… I will not kill anyone because of my hunger… I’m not like You… you hear me I’m not like You… I am a human… a human that eats the fries, the burger whatever the normal human eats… why don’t you see that… why? For who sins I’ve been punished… I’m not a ghoul… I did not kill them… I did not kill them… Then why you keep on saying that I’m a murderous monster… Why? I want to live a normal life just like the ordinary humans… I want to see the sun light as it washes through me… I want to smell the perfumed air as I pass through a garden… I want to see the trees as they flutter in air… I want to see the butterfly as it sucks the nectar… I want to be old me… I want my old life back… please help me… please (weeps)…” I said and straight goes to the place where I smashed that meat,
“Fine if you don’t want to stop this nightmare lasting more long than I’ll have to end this myself.” I said as the whole dream, the corpses, Kaneki and me eating that flesh in my dream streams in front of my eyes, my head seems as if it will going to explode now. With trembling steps I finally reached there that by bending down I held that steel conserved platter and ripped it from the middle; I know now that I’m a ghoul but I don’t want was to live like a ghoul so I know that I’ve got some super powers as all ghouls have so I easily ripped that steel platter from middle. The shape I get after ripping it… was what I wanted! It seems less like some steel and more like a blade. ‘I have to end this… I have to get rid from my suffering Horrendous life… yeah I have to kill myself.’ I thought and then gripped that steel blade high in the air and drifted it straight at my gut while biting hard my shirt. The blood splash just hit the floor down in front of me; with my vertigo eyes I fell on the ground and the last thing I heard was of that steel blade clashing to the ground as the blood and spit globule shoots off from my mouth flavoring it in to metallic. My lashes then cover that delicate light which shimmers above the roof as I was seeing it as my last sight ever.
Well dear dearly readers, How’s this part? Want to tell me? Just leave a comment as I’m seriously…seriously… seriously dying to hear what you wanna say about my story LOL c: Every single day I fill my diary pages just deciding what to do next in the story. So if you think that I’m wrong somewhere else or if I want to change the scene or if you want to suggest something then say it I will really appreciate it… okay see you at the next part… have fun J Bye. Wait don’t forget… Next part in next three days.