I am myself

I realize sometimes my poetry may seem depressing. As I have moved past things, I want my writing to show that I am happy, I have moved on and I can share that in my writing

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1. My story

My poetry, my words, they seem to tell a secret within the line
But believe me as I say, I am getting towards being fine
While it does seem as if I've struggled before these days
I assure you and tell you that I've found many ways
Those days are in the past, I am ready to move from them
I believe that I can move on, because I have help from Him
My mind now is the color of yellow and pink, sunny and fun
Back then, it was more black and white, ready to be done
It's funny when I think about my mind those days 
It's funny how I never noticed anything about my ways
I noticed that it bothered me, I noticed it made my upset
I noticed that it was unusual, and demanding, but yet
I never did anything about it, maybe out of fear?
And then one day I was suddenly able to move, and now I'm here
Some days are tougher than others, some days are different 
But now, I can change the direction, back then I just went
With the words that didn't want to be said, but for some reason had to
With the fears and chances that went with confessing, I am here now with a new
Mind set that is better, I want to get better, I want to be myself, I want to smile
And now, I can say, I am happy, I love days, I admit freely that I've ran a mile
More than a mile, a marathon of such, it demanded so much time
A run full of tears, trials, fears, worries, thoughts, a huge climb
But it was worth every single second of pain and every minute of worry
It has equipped me with strength that I need, and I know I don't have to hurry
I have fought a battle, I have had the past behind me now in the shadows and dark
I am grateful for this battle because, and although it was hard, and it has left its mark
It has trained me for the now, where I am aware of these things, and I can try to move on
I am still that same person from that time, I am still that person, but some things are gone
I no longer have to talk every hour about my fears and my thoughts that I hated
I realize now that I was strong then although it may have not seemed, I am glad I waited
I waited to see what would happen, and here I am today, with these battles behind me
As I may sometimes still go back, I will never fully be afraid like then, because now I can start
To become free

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