(n) things better left unsaid; matters to be passed over in silence
I woke up the next morning with a headache, shortly followed by all of the shitty feelings from the day before. I'd broken up with Calum. Was it even a breakup? If we weren't dating, I guess it wasn't a breakup, but it sure felt like one. No matter what, I felt like absolute hell.
I got out of bed with a sigh, eyeing Calum's sweatshirt that I still hadn't returned on my way out of my room. It was hanging on the back of the chair by the desk like a trace of his presence. I then walked to Parker's room since he was nowhere to be found any other place in the apartment, and opened the door. He was laying in his bed with his phone in his hand but shot me a sleepy smile when he heard me walk in.
"You could at least knock", he said with his usual morning voice.
"Sorry, at least I didn't walk in on something", I answered and rolled my eyes as I walked to his bed and sat down at the edge. Parker sat up as well and put his phone on the nightstand.
"You were lucky."
"Look," I started and looked down for a moment, "it's not going to be weird between us, is it? After what happened last night." None of it should've happened, but of all the stuff that was going on in my life I didn't want to worry too much about that, so I'd decided to just get it over with immediately.
"No, of course not", he answered as he ran his fingers through his messy hair. "I know I've been an ass, but I can't make you apologize for not seeing me the way I might want you to see me. As long as I have my best friend back, that's all that should matter."
I still felt weird about him being in love with me, or whatever was going on, but at least we were working it out now instead of just letting it get between us. That was the last thing I wanted, and let's face it, I wasn't worth the fuss anyway. But as Parker had said, as as long as we were still friends, none of it mattered anymore. All we could do was keep moving forward.
"Good because I'm done with it being weird between us, you know that?" I continued.
"Now I do", he answered and shrugged before suddenly wrapping his arms around me and pulling me down in bed with him. I just laughed and got under the covers, laying down next to him. He was only wearing his boxer briefs, but I didn't mind. I loved Parker more than anyone around here, and just having him there with me was a big band-aid on the wound Calum had left on my heart.
We both had work later on, but we'd agreed to meet up at the local mall as soon as we got off our shifts which was around four o'clock for the both of us, but since Anna, the co-worker, had to leave early, I was left with a lot of shit to do and was around half an hour late.
"I'm so sorry", I panted as I met up with Parker at the entrance of the mall. He had a to go cup in both hands and handed one of them to me. "Is it coffee?" I asked and raised one of my eyebrows. The coffee shop I worked in had ruined my liking of coffee forever but luckily Parker shook his head.
"Hot cocoa, I know you too well," he answered, "and it's alright."
Then we walked inside.
"You look nice today", I commented as we got on the escalator. Parker was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, black boots and a dress shirt. I guess it was his work dress-code, but whatever. He really was a good looking guy, and if we were to meet for the first time all over, I might've been attracted to him. But right now my heart was severely congested.
"Well thank you, I try", he answered and laughed, I laughed as well.
We walked around the mall for a good amount of time but ended up on the floor with mens clothing. Parker wanted a new jacket, so that's what we were looking for.
"What about this one?" Parker asked as he threw on an olive-green quilted bomber jacket and looked at himself in the mirror.
"Absolutely not", I answered and raised my eyebrows as I roamed the clothing racks. "This one, though", I added and pulled out a leather jacket. "A timeless classic."
He changed into the leather jacket and looked in the mirror once again.
"What do you think?" he asked and turned towards me.
"It doesn't matter what I think", I answered and took a last sip of my hot cocoa before throwing it in a nearby trashcan.
"But I want to know", he continued.
I walked up to him and adjusted the jacket a bit before looking up at him with a smile.
"I think my choice is great and that you should get it."
Parker paid for the jacket, and we were on our way back to the escalators when I suddenly spotted a way too familiar black haired individual coming up the escalators in the opposite direction, the sight making my heart sink and skip a beat at the same time.
"Shit, shit, shit", I swore and tried to hide behind Parker in a desperate attempt to avoid the possibility of conversation.
"What?" he asked and stopped walking as he looked around in confusion.
"Right ahead", I mumbled and nodded in the direction that Calum was currently waking towards us from. I didn't think he'd seen us, but when I looked slightly to his right, I spotted a girl. A girl. Was he actually serious? I took a closer look from over Parker's shoulder and began to recognize her. It was Skye. The long-haired brunette from the bar the night before. Were they a "thing" too?
"He's with a girl, what the hell is that?" I whispered, fearing Calum would hear it even though he was still far away.
"Yeah, he is", Parker answered and shrugged a bit. I understood that he wasn't exactly miserable with the situation between me and Calum for obvious reasons, but he could've tried to be a little compassionate. I didn't feel like it was the right time to punk him for it, though.
"He has seen you, I'm a hundred percent sure", Parker said and stepped away from me, ruining my hiding spot.
Calum was looking directly at me and narrowed he his eyes, before saying something to Skye that I couldn't hear and quickly walking in my direction, Skye following a few meters behind.
"I don't want to talk to him", I said and looked at Parker with a desperate look in my eyes, not knowing what to do because just running away would be weird and I wanted to seem like the bigger person in all of this.
"Then tell him that, I'll be over here", Parker mumbled and walked to a bench by the escalator and sat down, leaving me alone and feeling all over the place.
"Ella", Calum sighed when he finally reached me and grabbed me by my arm, but I just shook him off.
"Leave me alone, I quickly said and shot a look in Skye's direction.
"We need to talk", he answered and stepped closer.
"I don't want any more of your shit, Calum, don't you get it?"
"Why won't you just give me a chance to explain?"
"Because you're a horrible person, that's why", I answered, trying to keep my voice down, not wanting everybody else to join on on the fun of our conversation. Calum just looked at me for a while and I could see how he tensed up, but what was he going to do? Getting aggressive sure as hell wouldn't convince me to hear him out.
"I know. And I'm sorry", he said and suddenly seemed to relax once again. Nothing more. An apology? How on earth should that change anything? Three words against weeks of deceiving.
"Yeah, well I am too", I snapped and tightened my grip on the strap of my bag. "Why are you even doing this, Calum? Just to make me seem even more naive in front of your friends?"
"Of course not, Ella! If you would just listen to me-.."
"Well I won't. I don't care for you anymore, but I hope you at least treat your new girlfriend better", I answered and nodded towards Skye who had kept her distance.
"My girlfriend... What?", Calum mumbled as he frowned and looked towards Skye as well. "We're not-.."
"Whatever, it doesn't matter", I sighed and shook my head. Then I hesitated for a moment, before stepping even closer to him. "I hate to admit this, but you broke my heart. And I know that it will only be yet another reason to laugh at me with your friends, but I just wanted you to know that your pathetic attempt to make me feel sorry for you because of your family issues doesn't justify you being a gigantic jerk." I whispered. Calum just looked at me for a while, not saying anything, and I turned around and walked away before he had the chance.
I'm sorry for the short chapter, but I'm going through some things at the moment that leaves me with little to no energy to do things like these even though I really want to. I don't expect any of you to care that much, but I just thought I'd explain. I'll try to up my game a bit.