(n) an altercation or complicated situation
Parker had left after that and I'd let him go, not knowing what to tell him after what he'd said. I loved him, but not like that. I didn't want to be in a relationship and risk losing him if it went wrong, and even if he was jealous, it didn't excuse the way he'd been acting lately. I'd barely known the guy I was living with, the guy who was supposed to be my only friend in this damn city, and it made me feel lost.
Talking about friends, I hadn't heard from Calum the entire day. I guess I should've been used to it by then after eight years of absolutely nothing, but now that I'd gotten a taste of him it was harder to just let go of him again, and not hearing from him at all made me think that he didn't feel the same way which sucked a bit.
I was sitting on the couch later that same day. It was past midnight, and I refused to go to bed until Parker got home. I'd called him numerous times, but he didn't pick up once. I was worried as hell, and I'd been wandering around the apartment for hours, the situation making me feel restless, before I finally settled down in the couch. Maybe he'd been a piece of shit and all, but he was hurting, and who knew where he'd gone? He was just as new to the city as I was, maybe he'd gotten lost? The possibilities were endless and I was worried sick.
When it was about 1:30AM I couldn't take it anymore. I texted him another three times, and when he didn't answer those either, I finally got up and walked to the hallway where I put on my old converse. Then I left as well, determined to find my best friend.
It was cold outside for once. It had been quite hot during the last few days, but tonight was especially windy, the breeze sending chills down my bare legs. Other than that, I didn't like wandering the streets alone at that time. If something happened, what was I going to do? Parker refused to pick up when I called, and I did not need Calum to save me once again. It was embarrassing, and the fact that he hadn't even texted me after what happened the night before made me feel weird about it all, but he could end up being my only option either way.
But I kept walking, and even though I eventually felt like I'd walked for hours, I still didn't see any sign of Parker anywhere. My heart was pounding from the constant fear of some creep showing up, and I was freezing. This was an awful idea, but I would have absolutely zero chance of getting any sleep tonight if I didn't know wether or not Parker was okay, even if our friendship were at an all time low.
It was almost 3AM when I decided to give up. I was so tired and I had a long way home, but suddenly I heard the music coming from a nightclub across the street. It was where me and Parker had gone when he'd gotten black out drunk, and Calum helped dragging him home.
"It's worth a shot", I whispered to myself as I crossed the street and made my way inside. The music was pumping and there were people everywhere even though it was that late. I had to push my way through the crowd, but not a single face seemed familiar and I was slowly losing the very last hope this place had sparked in me. It was a stupid idea anyway, why would he go to a place like this?
I only just got to have that thought when someone bumped into me, almost making me fall over. I turned my head to see who it was, and caught a glimpse of Parker's face before I think he realized it was me and disappeared in the crowd once again.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me", I mumbled before following him, pushing people out of my way and hearing a few complaints on the way. He was avoiding me, how mature.
"Parker!" I called out and he finally stopped and looked at me over his shoulder. I made my way to him, grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the crowd.
We ended up by the wall where the amount of people were a bit less, but it was still hard to hear each other speak because of the music.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked, leaning in against me to make his voice more audible. His breath smelled of alcohol, and the stupid grin on his face gave him away. He was drunk.
"I was looking for you, what do you think?" I answered and shook my head. He just kind of laughed at me before leaning in even more, making me take a step back, my back hitting the wall. I was not comfortable with the situation at all, but I needed my best friend back home with me. Apparently he'd gotten this habit of drinking until his brain would actually fall out of his head, and I couldn't let him run around alone like that.
"Well you found me", he answered and placed both his hands on the wall on each side of my head, locking me between his body and the wall.
"You're drunk", I said and placed my hands on his chest in an attempt to keep some distance.
"Yeah. You keep doing this to me", he answered. It made no sense.
"What do you mean?"
"You always ask that fucking question, El. You don't have to understand everything", he said and chuckled a bit. "But if you really must know... It's hard. It's fucking hard. Seeing you love somebody else. That's what happened that last time, y'know. I saw you with that guy, Calum, and I'd honestly rather get black out drunk than be the sad third wheel."
What he said left me breathless. He stood there laughing as he told me how unhappy he was because of me, and I definitely started to feel bad about it. I actually felt bad for not being in love with this guy. He apparently had some sort of idea that me and Calum had something, which I didn't even know wether or not was true, but it affected him a lot.
"I'm so sorry", I whispered, feeling like my throat was tying a knot on itself. He apparently didn't hear me.
"And I don't know what it is about Calum, but he doesn't know you, baby. Not like I do", he said. Then he leaned in even further, and brushed his lips along the edge of my jawline. I didn't like the way he spoke, or the way he acted, but I didn't know what to do or say about it. I guess he was right, but it made no difference. I couldn't force myself to be in love with him, so I just stood there and let him do whatever he wanted to do. He placed his hands on my waist, pulling me closer, before he slowly connected his lips with mine, and in the hazy state I was in, I kissed back, not wanting to hurt him.
It went on for a bit, but then he moved his hand to my chest and started groping me, and that's where I finally collected myself enough to push him off, and so I did.
"Parker, don't", I said, honestly feeling a quite belittled by his actions.
"Are you serious?" he asked and took a step back. "You can't just lead me on just to tell me off."
His words pissed me off. He sounded like the biggest asshole ever, and thinking about it, he was definitely trying to victimize himself, even though he'd kissed and touched me without my consent. I also couldn't help what he was feeling towards me, so blaming me was wrong, but it was hard to just tell him that.
So I slapped him instead. Right across the face. And for a moment it felt nice, but then I realized what I'd done, but I couldn't change anything at that point.
"Get it together, Parker", I said before once again shaking my head and storming off. I didn't want to be near him any longer.