We had sex in my bed that night. It wasn't exactly soft, careful love making, but none of us needed it that way. I'd tried to quiet down my moaning by biting my lip to the point of almost bleeding, but I'm pretty sure Parker heard us anyway. I didn't care though, because even though it wasn't the night that I'd thought that I wanted, it definitely was what I needed.
Me and Calum had just laid there tangled in sheets and covered in sweat for hours after we'd finished. We'd been talking about then and now, talking about us, and talking about everyone else. I knew he was intoxicated out of his mind, he'd even admitted to being on a lot of drugs I didn't know, but he spoke like a poet, saying things that made him sound way past his age. He was so clever and beautiful, and I couldn't help but admire him as I was looking at him while the sun appeared on the sky outside. He'd apologized for leaving time after time, and I'd apologized for blaming him. Then we'd fucked again. I would moan his name, and he'd definitely let it get to his head, but I loved to see him love himself.
The sun began sending orange light through the cracks in the blinds on my window as we finally sobered up, and with that, it was like the stars in his eyes disappeared. The scratch marks and hickeys that I'd marked him with during the night was visible as he'd gotten dressed, before he left me alone with tired eyes and a headache. I didn't even have the time to miss his presence before I gave in to sleep.
I was brutally woken up by Parker when he suddenly burst in my room.
"Seriously, Ella, it's late in the afternoon. You've slept all day", he complained and pulled the blinds, letting the bright sun fill the room completely. Luckily my duvet covered my very naked body, but at that point, I probably wouldn't have cared either way. I had a raging headache and I generally felt like shit, Parker seeing my goodies was the last thing I wanted to worry about.
"Sorry", I mumbled, before burying my face in my pillow, not wanting to get out of bed just yet.
"You could at least have tried to be quiet last night", he suddenly said, and it took me a moment to realize what he was talking about, but I couldn't help but blush a bit when the images filled my mind.
"We did try", I answered, my voice muffled by the pillow.
"Well, you didn't do a very good job."
"You're an ass", I commented, still not raising my head.
Then he left the room.
It had taken me way too long to actually get out of bed, but when I finally did I ran to the bathroom and took a shower. Then I'd thrown on some loungewear, because regular clothing just wouldn't have done it for me on that particular day. After that I changed the covers on my bed, and then I was finally free to do whatever.
The first thing I did was check my phone. No messages. I couldn't help but feel my heart drop a little, but then again, maybe Calum was still sleeping? Or maybe he was busy? Why did it even matter that much? I mean, we hooked up, that was it. No big deal. Friends did that sometimes, right? Whatever.
I got my laptop from my desk and sat down in my bed. Lately I'd been thinking about finding myself a new job since the whole making coffee-thing just wasn't for me, and the pay wasn't that great. The only real perk was when Calum would drop by every once in a while, but that wouldn't pay the bills. So that's what I was doing, basically. Looking for a job. There wasn't a lot to choose from, but at least there was a few, so the chance was there.
While I was surfing through the different sites and ads, Parker once again appeared in my room, looking grumpy as always.
"You left this on the floor in the hallway", he said, throwing my shirt on my desk. The entire undressing-process had gone quite fast, so it was very possible that a few articles of clothing had gotten lost on the way to the bedroom.
"I'm sorry", I answered and tried sending him a smile, just to see him ignore it completely. He didn't answer either, but just turned around to leave the room, but I was not done with him just yet. "Hey, erhm, Parker.. I'm thinking about finding a new job."
Thankfully that got him to turn around. I just wanted to talk, really. The topic didn't matter, I just missed hanging out with him. I missed him so much.
"Why?" he asked as he walked over and sat down on the edge of my bed, leaning in to see what was on my computer screen. I felt instant relief by the fact that he actually talked to me. He still hadn't told me if I'd done something wrong, but he seemed very frustrated with me at times and I'd tried desperately to figure out why.
"I just want to try something else, I guess", I answered and shrugged. I didn't care for the conversation, I cared for him. My best friend. I'd lost a best friend before, but this was different. I could feel him slipping through my fingers like sand, but I had a chance to stop it this time. I had a chance to get a hold on it all for once, and I was going to.
He didn't answer, but I saw him looking at me out the corner of his eye, before he quickly returned his gaze to the computer screen. The job conversation had died, but I didn't mind that much. The questions in my mind were dying to be asked, and now was my chance.
"Parker?" I said, putting one of my hands on his shoulder.
"You can always talk to me, you know that right?" I asked, tilting my head to the side, once again trying with a smile. He was suffering, I could tell. I knew him too well like that.
"Yeah, thanks", he mumbled, and if I wasn't completely wrong, I would've thought that he returned the smile. It was the first time I'd seen that smile in weeks, and it felt good. At least it was a step in the right direction.
"I love you. You know that too, right?" I then said, shrugging a bit. He looked at me for a moment, and I think he was contemplating what to say next. I was really hopping he'd finally open up to me, but that turned out not to be the case.
"I love you too, El, and I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too", I answered, not knowing what I was apologizing for. I just felt the need to do it anyway.
He chuckled a bit, and shook his head as he looked down on his hands.
"No need to", he said.
"Won't you tell me what's going on then? I can tell something is up", I said and put my laptop on the nightstand next to the bed. Maybe he'd finally tell me, so we could get this over with. The faster he told me, the faster I could hopefully help him.
"Well," he started. I could tell he was choosing his words carefully, "I just think it's funny how... How you choose this guy who barely knows you, El, who's never been there for you... Over someone who cares a lot about you. Someone who you know will always be there."
When he'd finished talking, I couldn't help but just stare at him. What on earth was that supposed to mean?
"What-.." he cut me off. God, I was starting to hate when people did that.
"Just think about it." Then he got up and left the room.
I sat there for a second, thinking about it - just like he'd said, and then it suddenly hit me. Oh my God. Oh my God. I quickly got out of the bed and ran after him, grabbing his shoulder as I found him on his way to his own room.
"What exactly did you mean by that?" I asked, wanting to hear it from himself instead of making assumptions. Could it seriously be what I thought it was, or was I just being extremely conceited? Was he jealous of Calum?
"I meant what I meant", he asked as he turned around towards me. We were standing quite close, his tall frame towering over me. If we hadn't met before now, maybe I'd been attracted to this guy, but it was too late for that now. I knew he was wonderful, but I wouldn't want it any other way than the way we had it now. Or, the way we used to have it.
"Explain anyway", I answered and crossed my arms. He'd given me a taste of the truth, he couldn't just not give me the whole thing at this point.
"I just don't think the whole Calum-thing is a good idea", he answered and shrugged. Well, I'd gotten that part a while ago. He'd never been very fond of him, but that was not the answer I was looking for either.
"There is no thing, if you really think that it's your business", I answered, raising one of my eyebrows.
"Oh really? So you guys were just having a casual friendly fuck last night, or?"
"You are unbelievable!" I said, raising my voice a bit. He was so sweet just a moment ago, and now he was back to acting like a total jerk. He was putting his guards back up, and I didn't know how to tear them down again. What did he want from me?
"I'm unbelievable?" he growled and stepped closer, and something about his attitude made me step back at the same time. I didn't know this side of Parker. He was almost scary. "Well, let me just tell you this, Ella... He'll never treat you like I would."
Hi guys! First of all, thank you so much for reading my story! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. Other than that, I would just like to say that I would love to hear from you! Any kind of feedback will be welcomed with open arms, and if you have any sort of suggestion or request to the story, feel free to leave those in a comment as well. I'm not saying that last thing because I've run out of ideas, because I haven't, but I just think it would be a cool thing to try.
Lastly, I'm sorry if there's some (or a lot, I wouldn't know) grammar mistakes, english is not my first language. I chose to write in english because I personally prefer reading in english. I wouldn't want to write a story that I wouldn't want to read myself, you know.
Make sure to favorite so you'll know whenever I add another chapter to this creation of mine, and once again, thank you for reading.