(listen to Is There Somewhere, lyrical or instrumental)
Her eyes are closed,
her hand open wide with the pills in her palm.
There isn't a note to be found,
I'm still in shock.
I dial 911 as I call their parents up.
The EMS come up to her bathroom, carrying her out on a stretcher.
I go into the ambulance with her, the EMT putting IV's in her arm, a tube going down her throat.
I hold her fragile hand, rubbing my thumb up and down trying to calm her down.
I try to fight back the tears but they slowly start to fall out.
I stare at her pale, unmoving, lifeless body.
'What did I do wrong?'
Waiting rooms are the worst at night.
The coffee is terrible,
there aren't many people here,
and the doctor won't come out of the OR.
Nothing can distract me,
the TV has become white noise and my phone died an hour ago.
I'm mentally exhausted and all I need is sleep.
But I can't fall asleep,
the chairs are very uncomfortable,
and what if the doctor comes out?
I get up and start to pace around the room.
I'm a nervous and crying wreck and there is nothing I can do about it.
The doctor finally comes out and my head immediately perks up.
He takes off his scrub cap and puts it near his chest.
He takes in a big sigh and finally opens up his mouth.
"We couldn't save her, she's dead."