1. Chapter 1.
I cannot believe this is happening. My parents are actually sending me to Australia? I know I've always said I want to go there but I just wanted to hike there not fucking live there! Especially not alone at the age of 17.. They just took away my life. I can't live without my friends. I've spent almost every single day with them since I was 5 years old now I have to spent at least a year without them. I'm gonna die. That's actually exactly what they said to me. "If you keep going like this you're going to die. You don't realize how serious this is! Look, we're just trying to do what's best for you. They have a wonderful clinic there that will help you and you'll have therapy sessions 3 times a week." "And you had to send me all the way to fucking Australia? You could have just sent me to Copenhagen or the school counselor but nooo you had to send me across the globe! I can't believe you're doing this to me? I admit I have issues but how are they going to get any better when I'm so far away from my friends and family?" "Maybe being on your own will help you matture more and you'll start getting better." "Maybe? You had to take a year out of my life to test whether it helps to send your child to the other side of the globe for a year?" "Mille there is no discussion in this you're going! We even got you your own flat!" "Oh hurray. I get my own flat. That's just so much better than all my friends". You can imagine how upset I was with my parents at that point. I'm still sorta pissed but it's not gonna make any difference. I'm still going to Australia whether I like it or not.
I look out the window and watch the fields drive by. My parents are talking about work in the frontseat and I'm sitting in the back with our dog in my lap. I'm gonna miss that little fella. I think almost getting tears in my eyes. Everyone is coming to see me leave. My mum and dad, my sister and my brother and their spouses, all my friends, my favorite teacher that has helped me a lot, and even my grandparents and aunt who never come to anything since they live on another island. Attached to the car there's a trailor with all my boxes. I've got the entire plan memorized. At 1pm we drive to the airport, at 2pm we arrive, I say goodbye to everyone for about half an hour (2:30pm), get all my boxes on the plane, say goodbye again to my closest friends and family, leave everyone at about 3pm, fly to Australia at 4pm and land in Australia at 9pm the next day. 21 hours on a plane. Yay.
I'm now sitting on the plane. Saying goodbye to all of the greatest people I know was probably the hardest thing I've had to do. When I was hugging my sister she whispered in my ear that she too thought it was a bad idea. My best friends were all crying which made me cry too. Honestly now I feel like a year without my parents I can handle but a year without my best friends? Not going to go well. The vision of my "ultimate bff" Rebekka standing there crying makes me tear up. I feel like I've dissaspointed her. I'm the second of her close friends to end up like this. The first one we both were really close with. You'd think I'd learned from her?
I'm sitting on the plane with my headphones in listening to Amy Winehouse. It reminds me of many nights Rebekka dancing and singing along to her songs. I'm always happiest with her. She knows that. She told me before I left that she'll call every day. I hope she will. She's the only person that keeps me some what sane.
Most of the plane ride I continue writing my novel (yes I write novels), stare out the window or sleep. I hope I'll get some friends there.. I think the whole time. But the chances of anyone wanting to be friends with me are slim.