He probably sensed the arousal on me; Darren left in the morning but not before screwing my brains out once more. Again, he was probably still running on the fumes that someone else was attracted to his woman and was only a few feet away. I honestly wasn’t buying his excuse of him making sure I got pregnant!
Jackson left a bit later. There were no words except him mumbling a thank you and that he’d see me later. I didn’t see or speak to him until a whole week later. I didn’t blame him; he probably remembered that he confessed about his jealousy and was embarrassed about it. I would’ve been; I think I would’ve moved! But, just as he had done in the beginning of our friendship, I bugged him until he finally came back to the house.
It was a bit early but I was already showered and fixing breakfast as Jackson sat at the dining room table. I gave him a plate and sat beside him with mine.
“Thanks. Jazzy… what the fuck happened…?”
“Hmm?” I had no idea what he was talking about. He shook his head slightly.
“Last week. What happened?”
“Ha; how should I know? You were all kinds of fucked up when you came banging on my door!” I laughed. Jackson stopped eating and looked at me.
“You… you wasn’t with me in the club last week…?”
“Which means… we didn’t make out on your couch, then…” he mumbled. It was the first time I had ever seen him blush and I nearly choked on my food from laughing.
“Not with Darren here! You don’t remember talking to him that night?”
“Ah… at least that really happened! I might of… said some things I shouldn’t have said…”
“I’m not worried about that. I’m trying to figure out who you were trying to screw that night; whoever it was must be awfully pissed at you!” I laughed even more. Jackson finally joined me and shook his head.
“Hell, I thought it was you!”
“Is that why you’ve been ignoring me this whole week? You thought we did something that we shouldn’t have?”
“You should’ve just talked to me, Jackson. Then you would’ve found out that the only thing you did was grope me in your sleep!” I decided to tell him the truth. I saw that he had smirked at first but then his eyes widened at my last sentence.
“Jesus Christ; you didn’t tell the white boy that, did you?”
“Why do you always refer to him as that?! Racist ass…” I shook my head and sipped my coffee. “No, I didn’t.” I finished. Jackson sighed and looked down at his plate.
“Okay. I’m… sorry about that. Guess that’s why I thought we did something.”
“So, it’s true that drunk folks tell the truth. I heard everything you told Darren. You lied to me. You said that I wasn’t your type…” I eyed him. Jackson sighed and then looked at me fully.
“I didn’t lie… fully. I’ve never been attracted to short women. So, technically, you’re not my type.” he paused. My heart pounded in my chest. All this time, had he been attracted to me…? I cleared my throat to keep my heart steady.
“But then… you are. Charlotte was so hell bent on selling you to me, I knew that she was on to something. And when I saw you, I was glad I was right. You were everything she said you were and then some. It was just… I was fooling around a lot back then and I didn’t want to just, you know, add you to that list of women I had. If we would’ve done what I wanted to when we first met, I was pretty sure that would’ve happened!” he smirked. Oh… he did want to screw my brains out that night! Well, shit…
“Gaddamnit, Jack; what made you think that I would’ve cared back then?” before I could stop it, the words flew out my mouth. I blushed and bit my lip as he started to smirk.
“Is that right? You wanted to fuck me that night…?” that sexy look was in full effect; he would never know how it made me press my thighs together to keep my groin from buzzing! I had to look away, for sanity’s sake.
“I… did.” my face was burning. When Jackson chuckled, I blushed harder; this wasn’t funny, damnit!
“Hmm. As much as I didn’t want to add you to the list… you should’ve said something. If only you were assertive…”
“W-What? I am assertive! I’m not gonna push myself on a man who doesn’t want me.” I defended. Another thoughtful hum came from him. That was when I realized that he had my hand in his.
“To think how our relationship would’ve gone had you just jumped my bones! Or at least told me the truth…” he slowly traced my fingers with his own, sending chills throughout my body. That… that wasn’t a friendly hold. I shot a look at him and if that first sexy look didn’t knock the wind out of me, this new one did! He started to lean closer to me, so close that I could definitely smell his cologne. He smelled magnificent! It took a moment for me to gather my senses. When I did, I backed away from him.
“W-W-Wait; what the he-” I realized that I may have tried too hard to get away from him; I fell out of my chair. Jackson caught me but not in time and we both tumbled to the floor. I couldn’t help but to laugh at the whole situation!
“Shit… think we just broke the chair. You okay?”
“I think I sprained my pride! Oh, my God, Jackson; what were you trying to do?!”
“I don’t have a clear answer for that. Because I want to? Ever since I laid my eyes on you, I wanted to? You’re making this harder than it seems… in more ways than one…” he simply looked at me. I noticed that he was being literal; Jackson was pressed against me and I could feel his semi-hard cock on my leg. He was, ah, a bit larger than Darren; I shamefully tingled at the feeling.
“Y-You can’t kiss me, Jack. We can’t do this…” yeah, I sounded so convincing! I couldn’t ignore the tingling or the fact that I really didn’t mind him being on top of me. No; what was I thinking? I was Darren’s.
“We shouldn’t. But, you want to…”
“Jackson, get off me!” my voice trembled. It was a painful flashback. My heart thudded as I pleaded in my mind. I was thirteen again, pinned to the gym floor. Those words, the same ones that haunted me for years afterwards. I shook uncontrollably but this time around, I was ready to fight.
Jackson blinked but immediately got up. He gave me a confused look as I tried to control my breathing.
“… Jazzy, I…” his eyes widened. “N-No. I wasn’t going to… force you…” he tried. I shook my head.
“I… I need you to leave…”
“Leave!” my tears sprung out. It wasn’t going to happen again. I would scream bloody murder! I didn’t look at him but I knew that he got up eventually and left. The only thing I knew to do was cry. I needed someone to talk to but I had no idea who. My phone was on the table and I dialed the first number available.
“H-Hey. Um, yeah. Is this… is this a bad time?”
“Oh, no. Well, yeah; I’m at work…”
“That’s… that’s right. I can call you later or…”
“No, no, no! I’m sneaking away now. What’s wrong? You sound… honestly, you sound like shit!” Allen said. I tried so hard not to cry. But the more I held it in, the more it tried to force its way out. I finally sobbed but covered my mouth. “Jasmine? Are you… crying? What happened? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry; I’m so sorry! I was… about to have a panic attack and I just… needed someone to talk to.” I cried. I fucked up. I should have never fell in love with Darren. I should’ve dropped everything and went back to Allen.
“… I’m right here for you, Jasmine…”
He didn’t need to know the whole truth; that Jackson’s words were identical to what Ivan had told me before he raped me. But, I felt a thousand times better after talking to him. We did keep in touch after the first time I spoke to him and Allen heeded my words. His superiors that were giving him a hard time were transferred and demoted after he skipped the chain of command and complained to the much higher ups. He stopped depending on liquor to get him through his rough times and was on his way to making a career out of the Navy. After we talked for an hour, I found out that he was engaged to get married the next year. As jealous as I wanted to be, I was actually happy to hear that.
I didn’t know if I wanted to speak to Jackson or not. If anything, he tried to make a move on me, knowing that I was taken. So that got me a bit upset. But I knew that he would never rape me. Deep down, I liked how he felt against me. I just panicked at those words…
I didn’t want to linger around the house so I decided to step out. I should’ve called Charlotte but thought that maybe she would be out already. As I looked around the club, there were no one but vaguely familiar regulars. I shrugged and planted myself at the bar.
Drinking by yourself is never a great idea. Especially after having an episode with your best friend. I lost count of how many drinks I had; someone familiar smelling sat next to me.
“You’re not answering your phone…” it was Jackson. I gave him a lazy look. He was a bit out of focus so I knew that I maybe had a bit too much!
“Didn’t hear it ring…” I didn’t lie. I took it out of my pocket and sure enough, I had quite a few missed calls. “Sorry!”
“Can we talk about what happened earlier?”
“… Fair enough. Can I at least talk you out of not getting another drink?”
“Heh; nope! I’ll like to see you try that one!” I dared. I think I was slurring; it was possible. If I couldn’t see straight, then I was sure I had the other signs of being drunk off my ass.
“Ki-Ki, no more refills for this one. If she tries, go get Greg.” Jackson ordered. I huffed; Greg was the owner and someone you didn’t fuck with. Ki-Ki was the bartender and I suspected one of Jackson’s casual flings. She gave me a water instead and I reluctantly drank it.
He found out that I was serious about not wanting to talk about things. But I knew that he figured out the gist of it. Especially when he assured me over and over again that he would never force me to do anything. I didn’t remember much after that. Before I knew it, I was being carried to my house. At least things stopped spinning; the water had done me good. Jackson placed me on the couch and I just looked at him. I thought about what he had said earlier: what type of relationship would we have had I been assertive? I wanted to screw him that first night and the feeling was still there as I looked at him then. Before he moved, I decided to show him that I was indeed assertive and kissed him.
“Jaz-” was all I let him say before covering his mouth once more. He moaned before pulling away. “… You’re drunk…” he sighed out. That realization made me sober up a bit.
“Yeah. I’m sorry,” I apologized. Feeling like a fool helped sober me up a bit more. But Jackson stayed close to me; he didn’t move an inch. “So, if I was sober…”
“We’d already be naked…” he gave me a grin. I couldn’t help laughing at that! “I know that you’re with Darren. But, if this is going to happen, I want you sober. I don’t want you having any regrets when you wake up. And I don’t have sex with drunk women; that’s… that’s just asking for trouble!”
“So… when I wake up, we’ll have sex?” I asked. For the most part, I was joking and I was glad that he laughed.
“Okay, I think that’s enough out of you! That’s the cue for you to lay down…”
“I guess you’re right. Carry me?” while the room wasn’t spinning, I definitely didn’t feel like stumbling in front of him. Jackson sighed a bit before carrying me into the bedroom.
“I think you’re taking advantage of me.” he smirked.
“Maybe.” I threw my arms around him and tried again for a kiss. Jackson put his hands on the side of my head, locking me in place.
“As much as I really, really want you to kiss me… no. When you sober up and you still want to kiss me? I won’t stop you. Goodnight, Jazzy.” he smirked and planted a tender kiss on my forehead. It was for the best. Drinking and Jackson’s presence was a dangerous combo!