Dan's mother listened intently to every word he said. She listened to him talk about how he and "AmazingPhil" started talking, about how Phil made Dan feel good about himself for a change.
About how Dan felt happy whenever he thought about the boy on kik. He even showed her some of the messages that Phil had sent him that made him feel that way.
Good god, this is cheesy. Under normal circumstances, he would have internally cringed slightly, but this was a nice kind of cheesy. He liked it.
When he'd finished, his face was like a tomato and his heart was beating at a million miles an hour.
When his mother was silent for a moment, he began pulling at his hair.
"Mum," he muttered. "I don't know what the fuck is going on with me."
"Daniel," his mother scolded, smacking him lightly over the shoulder. "No need for that language." Dan rolled his eyes, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his head in his arms, and groaned.
She hummed softly as she thought. Dan recognised the tune: a soft and gentle melody, one of the first songs he'd learned to play on the piano. She'd sung it to him as a child, to help him fall asleep. He'd decided to secretly learn to play it for her. She nearly cried when he showed her the first time. He remembered that fondly.
"Well," she began quietly, and Dan looked up. "Since he's said all that to you..." She trailed off, biting her lip, one of the habits that Dan had picked up on.
"Yeah...?" Dan asked uncertainly. Where was she going with this?
She sighed, and then broke into a wide grin. "If he really means those texts, then he feels the same way about you that you do about him. That's so cute!" She nearly squealed in her excitement.
"Mum, please," Dan said. "Be serious for a minute."
"I am," she insisted. But she sighed again when she saw Dan's face. She waved her hand. "Fine. Serious. Are you falling in love with this boy?"
Dan faltered. Was he? No. He definitely had a crush, but he wasn't in love with Phil. Yet.
Yet. He blushed just thinking about it.
"No," he said honestly. "I don't really know. This is all new to me."
Which was true. Sure, he'd had a couple of girlfriends that he'd really liked at the time, but nobody had made him feel like... this. Whatever "this" was, anyway.
His mother smiled knowingly and hummed her agreement. "I understand completely," she assured him. She looked out of the window, a gentle, faraway look in her eyes. "I'd had a fair few boyfriends by the time I met your father, but he made me feel happier and safer than any of them did. I fell for him hard and fast." She looked sideways at him. "It's possible," she said. "Falling in love so quickly, I mean. It happened to me, and it's happened to a lot of other people."
"So I'm not going crazy?" Dan asked, a spark of hope in his chest. Maybe he did have a chance, a real chance.
She laughed. "No, not at all!"
Dan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "So what do I do?" he asked.
His mother shrugged. "Ask if he has Skype, maybe?" she suggested. "Unless you don't want to rush it."
Dan bit his lip. "Tomorrow, maybe," he decided. "If this is still going on."
She smiled and put an arm sound his shoulders, pulling him into a one-armed hug. "It will be," she insisted. "I'm sure of it."
Dan buried his face into her shoulder. "I sure as hell hope so," he muttered.
They stayed like that before she raised another question. "When do you plan to come out to your father and brother?"
Dan froze, and his mother's grip on him tightened. "It's okay," she said soothingly. "No pressure."
"I don't know how Dad will react," Dan said, worrying thoughts crowding his mind.
What would his father do?
What would he think?
Is he homophobic?
What would his brother do?
Would they cringe?
Would they be disgusted?
Would his father disown him? And how would his mother react to that?
His mind was racing and his breathing became quicker and shallower. He felt his hands clench into fists.
His mother gasped and pulled him into a tighter hug, shushing him gently, rubbing his back. He had gone from a high thinking about Phil to a low thinking about coming out.
"Shh, honey," his mother whispered in his ear. "It's okay. It's okay. I promise. I won't let him do anything to you, if it comes to that. I will always love you."
Dan bit back a sob.
The two of them stayed like that for a bit, with Dan trying to pull himself together and his mother helping him along the way.
They both jumped when Dan's phone vibrated. Dan wiped at his eyes and picked up the phone, his heart lifting when he saw the kik icon in his notifications bar. A small smile broke out on his face. He opened it up, and his smile broke into a grin when he saw Phil's message.
AmazingPhil: Daaaaaaaaannyyyyyyy I'm back~ :D
Dan's mother giggled. "Here's the lucky man," she said.
Dan rolled his eyes.
AmazingPhil: Miss me? :3
danisnotonfire: of course :p
what would I do without you, Phil? :p
Not be AmazingDan, that's for sure.
danisnotonfire: and you would not be philisnotonfire.
AmazingPhil: Sure wouldn't! :P
Well, I'm not going anywhere, so you're stuck with me ^-^
danisnotonfire: tbh rn I wouldn't have it any other way, Phil.
AmazingPhil: Me neither, Dan :)
Dan felt his heart warm in his chest. This felt right, somehow.
When he voiced this to his mother, she smiled and nodded, before sliding off the bed.
"I'll leave you two alone now," she said with a wink, and Dan blushed.
"Y-you won't tell Dad, will you?" he stammered.
She shook her head. "When you're ready, we can talk to them together, if you like. If it makes it easier. But only when you're ready, and not before. I promise."
Dan smiled. "Thank you."
She smiled again, before turning and walking out, shutting the door gently behind her.
Yes. This definitely felt right.
So he decided to be perfectly honest with Phil.
AmazingPhil : Dan? You there?
danisnotonfire: right here. just thinking, is all.
AmazingPhil: What about?
danisnotonfire: you, mostly. and my family.
AmazingPhil: I'm flattered ^-^
Is everything okay with your family?
danisnotonfire: I think so, considering that I just came out to my mum.
AmazingPhil: Yay! I'm so proud of you, Danny! :D
Dan blushed at the nickname.
AmazingPhil : How'd it go? :)
danisnotonfire: she took it really well! honestly, I'm not sure what I was expecting, but she doesn't care. it feels good.
AmazingPhil: It does, doesn't it? I came out a few years back and most people have really supported me. It feels great to be accepted.
danisnotonfire: you're telling me.
I'm just worried about my dad and my little brother. my dad's always seemed uncomfortable when something like that comes up in conversation, but he's never said anything outright homophobic. and I'm not sure my little brother even knows what any of it means.
AmazingPhil: Well, whatever happens, I'm always here for you, Dan :)
Please remember that.
danisnotonfire: I will, I promise.
and you know when I said that I was thinking about you?
danisnotonfire: I was thinking about how talking to you feels like the only right thing in the world right now.
When it showed that his message had been read, it was a moment before Phil started typing again. By this time, terrible scenarios had already filled Dan's brain.
None of them had the response he got.
AmazingPhil: You know what?
I was just thinking the exact same thing.
Because this somehow feels right.
I can't really explain it, but it does, somehow.
I hope this is making some sense, because I don't know how to say it any differently :/
danisnotonfire: trust me, it makes sense.
AmazingPhil: Hey, Dan?
AmazingPhil: This may be a bit sudden, but do you have Skype?