,,I’m done,” she whispers the day he disappears, a snowflake that left nothing but a moist spot upon her life. ,,Such a fool for believing in something bright. I’m not made for this. This isn’t true. This can’t be real.”
,,It’s way too cruel.”
She wishes she carries beautiful stories about how her last moments with her abusive father was something real and forgiving, but it wasn’t. It was the exact same, a cold hole he always created around her, swallowing her whole and denying her any kind of possible recovering.
So she did anyway.
Her finger brushes against the gravestone, a cold, dark thing that leaves her stomach curling, but it somehow manages to be a right thing – to be here.
Her eyes close, a brief moment of everything true flashing upon her as she opens them up again, a cold, dark spring with buds of green leaping out, the sky gray and dark and she thinks she feels nothing, when in reality she’s angered by the unfairly way destiny treats her, she’s troubled by dealing with the aftermath and she’s saddened with all the lost things that’s nothing more but ‘could have been’s,
But most of all she’s broken by the havoc inside of her, something miserable and cloudy that leaves her with no available breathing space.
Usually movies and stories tell how persons only break down after realizations, only cries when being alone or finally being faced with the fact that they
But she’s been faced with those facts all of her life, so she cries a lot. She cries the moment the hospital staff calls her and asks of her and her brother to hurry to the hospital. She cries the moment she discovers that there’s nothing left but an empty body, a vessel that carried out a broken mind’s actions. She cries the day after that, and the next – she cries at the funeral, and years after that.
But she truly doesn’t mind, at some point
It’s just another thing about her that she has to make fit for in this world.
,,Ever thought about what you wanted to do with your life?”, they ask, following after her as they step out of the bus. Their hand instantly reaches for hers, quietly intertwining two separate stories to one.
,,I touched the thought. But I never really talked out loud about it. I don’t think people ever dared asking me it,” she answers, smile a bitter thing.
,,What about you?”
,,I have no idea. Many things interest me, but not as much as seeing the Salinas Grande in Argentina.”
She tips her head, curiosity peaking, as her lips does in a silent preparation for all the questions that falls from her heart.
,,Salinas Grande?”, she asks, and they nod.
,,Yeah. A really beautiful place I wouldn’t be able to describe in words. I want to go there, some day.”
,,Aren’t you just something bright,” she says, heart bursting with something it’s not quite able to contain.
They laugh a bit and push at her shoulder, her feet stumbling but she manages, giggling, to catch her balance again.
,,Want to join me?”