It's all my fault (Ashton Irwin)

It's all my fault. It's all my fault that my mom died when I was nine. It's all my fault that my dad abuses me. It's my fault that nobody like me at school. It's my fault everyone wants me dead. The only good thing that I have in my life is my brother Sam. Or so I thought was the only good thing. Hi. My name is Jay and I'm going to tell you why it's all my fault.


9. Stay away or he finds out

Jay's POV:


All week I keep thinking about Ashton. I seen him at school every once in a while but I don't think he notices me. I got two more new scars from my dad. Luckily Sam is always here to help me. I start walking to school when I feel a slight tap on my shoulder. It was Ashton. "Hey Jay" he said with a smile planted on his face. "Hey Ashton." I said with a slight smile. He scoots himself over next to me. "How you been?" he asks me. Horrible I think to myself. He can't know about my dad. "I'm doing okay. You?" I ask him. "I've been good. Been thinking about you a lot." he says with a smile. WHAT THE FUCK HE HAS!!?? I think to myself. "You have?" I ask. "Yes Jay. Your a really nice girl." he says which make my cheeks turn bright red and he lets out a small laugh. "Thank you Ashton. And your a really nice guy." I say and I see his cheeks turn a little pink. We walk to school and talk. He is a really funny guy. I don't think anyone has made me laugh this much in so long. We get inside and we immediately get stares. I just look at my shoes the whole way to my locker. Some people know about my dad only because my ex best friend Sarah told some people when I made her swear not to. But fuck her. Ashton walks me to my locker and says, "Do you want to sit with me at lunch?" I give a slight smile and say, "Yea sure see you then."  I say and shut my locker and head to class. This has been a fun morning so far


Soon lunch rolls by and I try to find Ashton. My heart races as I do so. I find him and sit at his table. "So how was your classes?" he asks me "Awful as hell." I say and he laughs a little. We talk about our classes and other things before the bell rings for maths. Dammit we don't have any classes together. We say bye and head our separate ways.

The day rolls by slow but soon the bell rings. I can only wait to see what is going to happen at home. I put my stuff away in my locker when a found another note. It read stay away from Ashton or he will know. Oh no this is bad. He can't know about me. The real me. I quickly run out of the doors and head home. I start to cry a little bit. I forgot that me and Ashton exchanged number so I get a text from him saying, hey Jay where were you after school? You ok? xx He is so sweet. I text him back with,  hey xx yea I'm fine just some person put a shitty note note in my locker xx he doesn't text back for a while. I get up to my room and sob. For the first time in a long time someone has actually made me laugh and smile. And now its ruined.  


Hi loves xx I probably wont update for a couple of days because I'm going on another road trip with my family but after that do you want me update more or less? Please let me know. Stay strong xx byeee

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