It's all my fault (Ashton Irwin)

It's all my fault. It's all my fault that my mom died when I was nine. It's all my fault that my dad abuses me. It's my fault that nobody like me at school. It's my fault everyone wants me dead. The only good thing that I have in my life is my brother Sam. Or so I thought was the only good thing. Hi. My name is Jay and I'm going to tell you why it's all my fault.


7. School day

Jay's POV:


I hear my alarm go off. Great. I think to myself. So I get up and shut it off. I really don't want to go to school. I hate it. It's like a prison. I walk to the bathroom and take a shower like I usually do in the mornings. After my shower I get ready. I'm wearing black skinny jeans and a Green day muscle t-shirt. I put on little foundation and mascara and a little bit of red lipstick. My normal school look. I try not to think about what I did last night because I don't want Sam to notice. I go downstairs and eat an apple. "Morning Jay." Sam says as he grabs an apple too. "Morning." I say with a light smile. We make small talk until my dad comes out of his room. He doesn't say a word as he grabs his coffee and heads back to his room. 

I head out the front door and start walking to school. Since Sam is eighteen now he's not in school but he is looking for colleges. I'm going to miss him so much. It will hurt when he's gone. No more late night talks or him helping me after my beatings. I will have nobody. I mean I have my band mates but we don't meet as often now that Alina has a boyfriend. We meet sometimes though. But they aren't Sam. No one will come close to Sam. He is the best person and big brother ever. I continue to walk to school. I get in through the doors and I automatically get glances. I just walk in there like I own it. I try my best to avoid making eye contact with anyone. I can't trust people here. I head to my locker to get my English book out when I found a little piece of paper and it read, nobody likes you so die bitch. Wow really heart warming. NOT. I try not to care about what people think. It's hard but. I throw the note away and walk to English.

The day goes by kind of fast. Finally the last bell rings and I head to my locker to put some of my things away. I put my stuff away and I shut my locker. I walk out the doors and head home. I blast the music in my ears when I bump into someone. We both fall lightly to the ground. "Oh my god I'm so sorry. Are you OK?" I ask the boy. He had brown fluffy hair and he was wearing a red bandanna, and he was wearing a Blink-182 shirt. Yes! I thought to myself. "It's ok I'm fine what about you?" he asked me. "Yea I'm fine thank you." I said as he helped me up. He noticed my Green Day shirt and said, "So you like Green Day huh?" I smiled and said, "Yea I love them. And I see you like Blink-182?" I ask. "Yea they are my favorite band along with Green Day." he said. I was literally a few houses down form mine and I looked and I think Sam saw me. He doesn't like me hanging around guys. He never really has. Me and the boy talk for a little bit until I feel a slight tap on my shoulder knowing it was Sam. "Hi Jay. Who's this?" he asks in a protective brotherly voice and I laugh a little bit. "Sam this is..." I never got his name. "I'm Ashton nice to meet you." "Sam don't worry we were just talking about bands. Turns out we like the same ones." I say. Ashton lightly smiles. "OK I think it's time to head inside. Nice meeting you Ashton." Sam says. "Nice meeting you too. And good talking to you Jay. See you around?" he asks "Yea sure." we exchange smiles and I walk back home with Sam.

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