It's all my fault (Ashton Irwin)

It's all my fault. It's all my fault that my mom died when I was nine. It's all my fault that my dad abuses me. It's my fault that nobody like me at school. It's my fault everyone wants me dead. The only good thing that I have in my life is my brother Sam. Or so I thought was the only good thing. Hi. My name is Jay and I'm going to tell you why it's all my fault.


2. How it all happend

Jay's POV:    (in the past first)


"Mommy can I get some ice cream?" I ask my mom. "Sure sweaty. Let's walk over to the ice cream store and see what they have." my mom said back to me. We left Sam and my dad at the park while me and my mom walked to the nearest ice cream shop. "Can this little one get a chocolate ice cream in a cone with sprinkles please?" my mom asked the person behind the counter. "Sure thing miss." the lady said. She soon gave me m cone of sugar. We thanked her and headed outside. "Mommy don't you love days like this?" I ask her. "Of course I do Jay. Just hanging out with my beautiful children and your daddy." she said and we shared a smile. We look both ways before crossing the street. We walked back to the park where Sam and my dad were until we heard someone from behind us shout, "Hey! Put your hands in the air now!" I immediately drop my cone of sugar and put my hands up. "What the hell do you think your doing?" my mom asks the man. My dad rushes over but it was to late. The man had pulled out a gun and aimed for my mother. Right in the head. "NO!!!!!! MOMMY NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" I screamed and cried and ran over to her and held her hand. "Please don't leave me mommy. I need you. I love you. Mommy please!!!" I screamed but it was too late. her dead eyes were wide open. All I could do was lay next to her and holding her while I cried. I didn't care if she was covered in blood. "Mommy I'm so sorry. it's all my fault! MOMMY!!!" I yelled. My dad and Sam came rushing over to me and pulled me away from my mother. All I could do was kick and scream and cry at them but it was no use. Sam held me and cried with me. Now he was covered in our mothers blood. We both cried so hard it hurt so bad. The cops had already come and arrested the guy who shot my mother. My dad was having a melt down. The ambulance came and took my moms body away from us. I still screamed and cried. And so did Sam. 

The drive home was dead silence. Not a word but sniffles. When we got home my dad slammed the door and smacked me across the face and said, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU BITCH! IF YOU HADN'T GOTTEN ICE CREAM THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED! I HATE YOU!" his words cut deeper than a knife. It hurt so bad to hear him say that to his own daughter. I went up to my room and slammed the door and screamed and cried. Sam came in and held me tight like a good big brother. We both cried so hard. 'Sam she had so much to live for. She was the best. And now dad hates me.What are we going to do?" I say. "Hey look at me Jay. We are going to be fine. Yes its hard. But its not your fault. Don't ever ever think that OK?" he says. I nod my head yes but inside it is my fault.

Weeks later we have the service for my mother. My dad still won't talk to me. The only words that would come out of his mouth were mean and nasty things. I couldn't blame him. It is my fault. How am I going to move on?

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