It's all my fault (Ashton Irwin)

It's all my fault. It's all my fault that my mom died when I was nine. It's all my fault that my dad abuses me. It's my fault that nobody like me at school. It's my fault everyone wants me dead. The only good thing that I have in my life is my brother Sam. Or so I thought was the only good thing. Hi. My name is Jay and I'm going to tell you why it's all my fault.


3. And now

Jay's POV:


Now seven years later I'm still having trouble. Ever since then I've been depressed. A year later my mom died my dad started to abuse me. Physically. Sam has always been the one to fight back for me. He's pretty much saved my life a lot of times. I'm so thankful that I have a good brother. 

"JAY GET IN HERE NOW!" I heard my dad shout from the living room. I took a deep breath knowing what he was going to do. So I walked down the stairs hoping that this beating wouldn't be as bad. I have so many scars and bruises too many to count. All over my stomach, legs, back, and arms. I got to the living room and my dad was standing in front of the couch. Ever since my mom died he has gone mentally insane. Depressed, can't sleep, drinks, sometimes drugs, he sometimes thinks she's still here. And he hurts me. And me and Sam can't do anything about it. We thought about calling the police but we wouldn't have a parent to pay the bills and stuff. And we don't want to be in foster care. "Jay I had this amazing dream last night.-" he started, "It was just me and Joy (my mom). We were at the table drinking coffee and just laughing at random shit...." he paused and got tears in his eyes. Oh god here it comes. "BUT THEN I WOKE UP KNOWING THAT SHE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU BITCH!" he says and takes me by my hair and pulls me to the floor. "OOWW WHAT THE FUCK?!" I scream. "Don't swear at me you bitch!" he says and kicks me. He keeps kick me when Sam walks in the front door and yells, "Hey leave her alone!" and runs towards me. He kicks my dad and he falls on the floor. Sam quickly gets me up and takes me upstairs leaving my dad like that on the floor. "This isn't over!" he calls out. 

I sit on Sams bed and he gets a towel to wipe up the blood. He gets the towel wet with peroxide and lightly touches the scars and bruises and I pull back and hiss at the pain. "Hey it's the only way these will get better. I know it hurts but you have to let me do this" Sam tells me. I scoot back over to him and let him rub the peroxide on me. "Fuck that hurts." I say. "I know I'm sorry. I'm sorry he does this to you." he says with hurt in his eyes. "Hey. Sam you don't need to be sorry for what dad does. I don't blame him. It's my fault she's gone." I say I cry. Sam pulls me into a tight hug. "Thank you for being an awesome brother." I say. "It's my job Jay. I love you." he says. "I love you too." 

I must have fallen asleep in Sams room because I woke in his beanbag. I stretched myself out and got up. I looked downstairs to see if my dad was around but I saw what looked like a sticky note on the table. I went down and read it. It said, I'm going out today I won't be back until tomorrow- dad. Thank god. I thought to myself. "Hey Jay I called the school and told them you weren't going today. I figured you wouldn't want to go today. And since dads not home we have the place to ourselves." he says "Thank you so much Sam. I really didn't wan to go to school today. I'm going to take a quick shower." I say. "Yea you need one." Sam jokes at me. I just laugh and go take a shower.

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