11. i want to write you a song // one direction
I take a sip of my iced coffee from the coffee shop we went to today. Its the same one we've gone to for the past two weeks. We are now at the park, sitting in the grass just talking. I've realized that the employees know Jess by name and she knows them by name. Either this girl doesn't get out very much, or she just really likes having a routine. We always meet at the same spot, walk to the same spot on the bridge and then go to this coffee shop for breakfast. It's sort of strange, but it doesn't bother me. I kind of like it since it's so beautiful in this part of the city. After the coffee shop, she walks around town, saying hi to almost everyone. A lot of them smile and wave. Some say hi back, using her name. It's like everyone here knows who she is. After walking through town, she goes to the park and she hangs out there all day. She'll go to this one little cafe for a small lunch that is near the park. After the park, she starts heading home. When we get to her house she will tell me goodbye and we part ways. My little rental home isn't too far from her house. It's kind of odd that she has this routine every day, but I guess it's better than not having one at all? I don't know, but all I know is that I can never keep my eyes out of hers. I'm always getting lost in them as she tells me about who she is and what she loves doing. It seems that her blue eyes are always so bright, as bright as her smile. Her eyes completely contrast mine. She always seems to be so happy. I snap out of my daze when I hear my name come from her voice.
"Madi?" She asks for my attention with my name. My name seemed to roll off her tongue as if it were effortless to say.
"Yeah?" I ask, my cheeks getting hot at the fact that I just got caught. I had been so lost in her voice and her eyes that I forgot we were having an actual conversation. She just smiles and giggles when she notices that my face was a little red.
"Tell me about your parents and your family a little more! I want to know so much more!" She says excitedly. I smile.
"Well, my parents were both in this band when they were younger and my dad still sort of associates with it, he's now a psychologist, but him and the remainder of the band still all hang out together. They started this band in high school. They hated each other at first, met by accident. And they fell in love. My dad doesn't really tell me many of the details of what happened, but they seemed to have been in love and it's amazing to look back at their relationship." I grin slightly, trying to think positive before I go into 'my dad is gone' mode.
"That's so cute." She smiles. "How do you get to look back at their relationship? I mean, I know there's things like family photos, but does your dad ever show you old pictures from back then?"
"I found my father's box of memory type things. It had a bunch of pictures and letters and just little things. I looked through it when I had found it." I smile a little. "So the whole LA to Sydney thing." I pause. She nods, knowing what I'm talking about. "My parents are from Sydney. After touring for a while, they moved to LA and bought a house. The house I live in now. I grew up there until my dad..." I pause, trying to not get worked up over it like every time. Now I know exactly how it happened and what their room looked like after, kills me to even talk about it. Jess puts her hand over mine, which was resting on my knee, telling me that it was okay to cry. So I did. "My dad, he took his life. My dad freaked out afterwards, not letting my brother and I find out what happened to him until we had already flown back to Sydney the next day. I hadn't been back at that house since the morning I went to my dad's friend's house. And then the first day I walked into the house after 15 years, it hit me so hard. I realized I was going to live in that house and I had to clean it up. The hardest part was cleaning up my parent's bedroom since that's where it happened." I stopped after I couldn't even talk anymore because I was unable to handle talking about it. Jess pulls me into her lap and I straddle her as she hugs me tightly. I practically cling to her. I barely know her and I'm clinging to her.
"It's okay. I have a feeling I know who your parents are, and I still see you as the same person. You're just the same person with famous parents." She says, rubbing my back. "And unfortunately terrible followers. I think I've seen the things said about you on twitter. I just have never put two and two together after I met you. But that doesn't change anything. We are still normal people. I will not treat you any different." She says, kissing my bare shoulder since I was wearing a shirt with no sleeves. Chills run down my spine as she does that. I wasn't expecting something like that, but it felt okay. "Just forget about the dumb tweets. People are stupid and don't see real beauty." She smiles, making me look at her. She wipes my tears with her thumbs, giving me a smile. I sniff, smiling back at her. As soon as my eyes come into contact with her eyes again, I feel at ease and okay again and just happy. It's funny how a week ago I just wanted to die. I came to San Francisco to contemplate jumping from that bridge to a week later wanting to get attached to this amazing and beautiful girl in front of me.