21. heathens // twenty one pilots *semi-trigger warning*
"Hey, how was your flight?" I ask, holding the phone up to my ear as I pace my living room.
"It was okay. I mean, it was a flight." She laughs. I smile at her laugh because it's so comforting.
"When do you think you'll be able to hang out?" I ask. She yawns on the other end and then responds.
"I don't know. I'm really tired and need a nap. How about I go sleep off some of this jet lag and I'll meet you at the spot after. Okay?"
"Okay. I'll see you then." I smile.
"Alright. I'll see you then." We hang up the call and I huff, sitting down on the couch and staring at my ceiling. I check the time to see that it's a little past 2 and that I overslept earlier and missed getting coffee. I guess I can get some coffee and get a late lunch instead of breakfast. I run upstairs to my room, opening the door to my every day room. The walls in my room are plastered with the pictures of the bridge as I try to get my best picture every time. Each picture is actually different. None of them look alike. I look at some of my recent pictures of the bridge on my wall next to my door and figure out what I need to do different this time to make today's picture unique. It'll be unique already because it isn't one with the sunrise or at night. I grab my camera and take one last look at all of the pictures of the bridge on my wall and then close my door. I go back downstairs, turning on my phone for a second to the lock screen, checking the time to find that it was now 2:15. I smile at the picture of Madi that I took while she was laughing. Her smile makes me smile so hard my cheeks hurt sometimes. I grab my purse and head out to get coffee and lunch.
I sit on the bench at our spot, sipping on the last of my coffee I had refilled after getting lunch earlier. I drink my coffee slow. But I did go to the park for a little and just took in the nice day. It's now almost 8 and the sunset is beautiful. The picture from earlier had turned out very well with the sky being blue. I can't wait to see Madi though. I can't wait to be able to hug her and kiss her. I look over towards the bridge to see Aiden. I smile, staying on the bench.
"Hey, Aiden. How's today going?" I ask. He shrugs, staying in the same spot he always does. He never really likes to move. He doesn't really talk much either. I try talking to him, but he just shrugs or shakes his head either way to respond. "I feel the same way. Madi didn't get home until today, which sucks." He just smiles, nodding slowly. "But happy birthday. We're 22 now. Sorry I didn't tell you yesterday." He just shrugs, knowing that it was okay that I didn't see him. A biker then runs into Aiden and he just disappears. My eyes go wide and I freak out. "No, no, no." I say frantically as I get up, searching for him. "Aiden?? No. Aiden." I mumble as I collapse to my knees, realizing he had been gone. No wonder he hadn't moved from that spot in 5 years. No wonder he hasn't come home in 5 years. He's dead. As tears blind me, I just get up, making my way to the bridge. It takes me at least an hour to even get to the bridge from the spot since I just couldn't see with my tears pouring from my eyes. I feel my phone vibrate several times as Madi is probably trying to call me, wondering where I am. I pull my phone out of my pocket after the calls and I can't see who it was that called because I was so blinded by my tears. But the time was now 8:45 and it was getting dark outside. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, but I'm walking to somewhere where it will hopefully cure my problems.
I make it to Aiden's spot on the bridge and I run my fingers over the carving of his name in the bridge. I can't believe I let him leave that night. I can't believe I believed he was going to a friend's house. It's all my fault that he's dead. I should have sat down and talked to him. I mean, he's my brother. I should have done something to stop him and he would still be alive. I hate myself for letting him do that. I hate myself. I take off my shoes, setting my phone and my camera inside of my shoes. I climb over the rail very carefully. As I do so, I can feel the wind picking up slightly as it blows my hair in my face. I hold onto the rail, taking deep breaths. I make sure to not look down. This is just like every other time, Jess, just this time you're actually going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to jump. Tears run down my cheeks like two little rivers as I prepare myself to let go.