"Hey, Dad." I sigh, sitting down in the snow in front of Michael's headstone. "How are things? I'm sure they're better than they ever were here." I pause, starting to cry. I wipe away the first tear that falls. "I just feel like everything is the end of the world. It's not because you're gone, it's because..." I stop myself because I don't even know why. I just can't stop crying now. "It's because I hate myself. I don't know why, but I hate myself so much. I'm depressed. That's what Daddy says. He says I have depression and I have medication for it. I'm so afraid that when I go back to San Francisco, I'm going to just go jump off that bridge." I mumble through my tears. "But there's this girl, Dad. There's this girl and she is everything to me. I never thought that I'd like girls the way I like guys, but she's perfect." I pause, wiping my tears and putting a smile on my face. "Dad, I've known her for only 2 months, but I really really like her." I smile more, wiping more of my tears. "Her eyes are as blue as Daddy's and when I look at her, she just radiates happiness and it just makes me think I'll be okay and that it will all be okay." I laugh a little bit, wiping my tears away completely. Dad then walks up, smiling at me and sitting next to me. He puts an arm around me.
"Are you doing alright?" He asks. I nod.
"I wish he were here. I wish he got to see me grow up." I sigh and then smile and start to laugh to myself.
"What's so funny?" He asks.
"I wish he was there to beat my one ex's ass when he broke up with me. Or there to beat up my other ex's ass when I came home crying because he had hit me." I laugh, imagining him leaving the house to go find the boy who put me through that misery while Dad would try to get him to calm down.
"Yeah, but I had done that while your brother comforted you." He laughs along with me. Our laughing dies down and I put my head on his shoulder. "There's never a time when I don't miss your father. I miss seeing him smile and I miss his laugh." He sighs.
"I know." I mumble, sighing.
"I just want to go back to high school when we first met. You know, like start it all over again, except this time I would save him. This time I would make him go with me to recording. We'd all still be living in LA." He sniffs, wiping his cheeks.
"Yeah, but would I have ever gone on vacation to San Francisco and met Jess?"
"Probably. If you see her the way I saw your father and the way he saw me, then you guys would have met at some point in your lives. People like that were meant to meet." He mumbles a little bit. We then sit in a silence for a few minutes, just staring at the headstone in front of us.
"Is it wrong to say you love someone even if you've only known them for two months and if you just started dating them a week ago?" I ask. Dad moves away from me, looking at me strangely.
"What are you talking about?" He asks confused.
"I mean. I think I love Jess."
"Well, you will know for sure if you love her when you realize what life could be like without her. When me and Michael first said 'I love you' to each other was after Ashton and Calum split us up because we were fighting. We were only meant to not see each other for a couple of weeks, two weeks at the most, and we ended up not seeing each other for like a month." He laughs a little bit.
"How did they manage to do that?" I ask, laughing.
"Oh, I hung out with Ash all the time and he hung out with Cal all the time. When he came to my door on our 6 month anniversary, I thought it was Ashton." He laughs. I laugh with him as we both are still sitting in what little snow we had gotten the past few days. We both calm to a silence again and I let out a sigh. "I guess we should get you to the airport now. It's almost 11." He helps me up and I dust off my pants. I then kiss my hand, pressing it to the top of his cold headstone that I had wiped the snow off of when I had gotten here.
"I love you, Dad. I'll come back soon and next time I promise to bring the girl I told you about." I smile, walking back to the car with Dad.
"Hey Jess." I smile as her screen comes into view. "Happy birthday!" I grin tiredly since I didn't get much sleep last night. She smiles back.
"Thank you." She smiles and then frowns. "I wish you were here."
"I know, but my flight got canceled since there was like this huge winter storm and it only snowed a little bit where I live but it snowed a ton at the airport. All flights had gotten canceled to today." I frown. "But I'll make it up to you and spend all day with you when I get there. Okay?"
"Alright." She smiles weakly. My flight is called and I sit for a minute since I'm right by the gate. I yawn as my dad nudges me. "Go ahead and get on the plane and try getting some sleep. I'll see you soon." She gives me a small smile and I smile back at her.
"Alright. I'll see you soon." We say our goodbyes and hang up our facetime call. Dad just smiles at me.
"I think you love her, the way you look at her just screams it." He smiles. I elbow him as I stand up from my seat.
"Shut up." I laugh. He stands up giving me a hug.
"I love you, Madi. Stay safe." He says, squeezing me tightly. "Call me when you get home."
"Okay, I will." I smile, letting go of him and getting on the plane to head back to the girl I love.