19. a part of me // neck deep
It's late at night and I feel like crap. My dad is on a short business trip and won't be back until tomorrow around dinner time and Alex is over at Jeremy's house. It's only like midnight so it's probably super early in San Francisco. I do miss Jess so much and I just wish she was here with me. I go back in a week and I wish I was going back tomorrow, but that isn't how it works with plane tickets sometimes. I decide to call her to see if she's busy or anything. After it rings quite a few times, it goes to voicemail. I sigh, leaving a voicemail for her.
"Hey, Jess. It's me. I just wanted to see if you wanted to talk for a little bit maybe. I'm not in the best mood I guess. I don't know. I just feel like crap, I'm bored, and I'm home by myself so yeah. Just call back or facetime me or something. Alright, bye." I hang up the phone call and then just lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.
-2 hours later-
I'm still wide awake and hanging half way off my bed. I'm honestly surprised I haven't fallen asleep yet. I hear my phone start to ring for facetime and I fall off my bed and then frantically search my blankets for my phone. I finally find it and answer the call. The first thing I see is Jess's smiling face. She's sitting in her living room. She then gives me a weird look and is sort of laughing. Then I look at my screen to notice that my glasses are half off my face and my hair is a mess. How I didn't realize this was one of the many wonders of the world.
"Are you alright?" She giggles.
"Yeah. I was blankly staring at my ceiling and my walls and I was hanging half way off my bed and then I heard my phone going off and I fell." I laugh, rubbing the back of my neck.
"Why are you still up is the real question." She giggles again. I just shrug, smiling.
"I couldn't sleep." I smile and then sigh, my smile then fading.
"Is it because I'm not there." She asks. I shrug.
"Well, since that one night before you left, I haven't been able to sleep well either." She huffs. At this point in our friendship, it is so obvious we both like each other a lot. It's only been maybe 2 months since we met, but after we met, we spent every day together and it didn't get old. I loved getting to see her bright blue eyes every day. I would love to wake up to her smile every day too. She's just everything I've ever needed.
"So, uhm." I mumble after a silence of maybe about 5 minutes or so.
"Hm?" She hums, looking more alert as she drinks her coffee. This is different from what she normally does. Usually she goes to the coffee shop and gets a medium coffee with vanilla flavoring, 5 cream and like 20 sugars, but she puts those in herself. They would put the flavor and cream in for her and she'd add sugar to her liking. Sometimes she wouldn't put any sugar in. It depended on how she felt that day I guess. This time she was drinking coffee from a mug at her house.
"I thought you got coffee from the little coffee shop?" I ask, playing off what I actually wanted to say. I don't want to make a fool of myself. What if she doesn't want a relationship? She shrugs as she sips her coffee again.
"My parents are out of town at my older sister's house and I'm not allowed to leave. She is on vacation with her husband and my parents went to watch the kids. Apparently they aren't allowed here in San Francisco. Something my sister has against this beautiful city." She sighs.
"How come? What happened, do you know?" I ask curiously. She just shrugs.
"My parents told me that when she was younger, about maybe 17 or 18, she got taken and raped. And she just is super cautious now and doesn't really like her kids to be here." She says. I just nod, knowing how that could be why and it just makes sense. I knew about her sister, just not that about her. I know she has a sister because I see pictures of her all the time at their house. I also know that she has a younger brother, who is 17, who is never around. She tells me that he's always hanging out with friends since it's summer there and everything and it's the summer before his senior year of high school. I see pictures of the whole family at her house. I also see pictures of her sister with her husband and kids. Her kids are under 10 years old. What's weird, I've been to her house, but never in her room. It's like she hides it from guests.
"I see why she'd want to keep them though since she wants to protect them from what happened to her." I nod. It then gets silent again and I'm now on my bed, facing the ceiling again. Then I remember what I was actually going to ask her and then freak out.
"Uhm, Jessie?" I ask to get her attention. She looks at me through her phone and she looks confused.
"Is everything alright? Please tell me you're still coming back." She freaks out as if her life depended on me. I used her full name so she's a little freaked out.
"It's not that, I promise. I just...I really like you, Jessie. Like, I like you a lot. And I—"
"Will you be my girlfriend?" She cuts me off in the middle of my ramble. I'm shocked that she is the one asking. I feel my face getting hot and a huge smile forms across my face.
"Yeah." I said almost breathlessly as I smile. She smiles back with a small giggle coming from her lips.
"Okay." She grins as wide as I am right now. "Well, go to bed. It's almost three in the morning there. I'll talk to you soon, sweetheart." She smiles.
"Good morning, Jess." I smile, my eyes starting to droop shut from being so tired.